Will I make friends at university?

I am currently in year 12 at college, I only have one real friend and spend most of my time alone. I had a horrible high school experience; my so called ‘friends’ began ignoring me and I ended up eating alone in the toilets (gross I know). I spent my holidays alone at my house and nothing had really changed a year later. I have always thought that when I am in university things will be better and I will make friends for life and finally have the social life I have missed out on. But is this really true? Do things get better at university? Will I finally not be alone?

(edited 11 months ago)

Reply 1

Meheraj

19

Original post by emkc_40

I am currently in year 12 at college, I only have one real friend and spend most of my time alone. I had a horrible high school experience; my so called ‘friends’ began ignoring me and I ended up eating alone in the toilets (gross I know). I spent my holidays alone at my house and nothing had really changed a year later. I have always thought that when I am in university things will be better and I will make friends for life and finally have the social life I have missed out on. But is this really true? Do things get better at university? Will I finally not be alone?

Sorry to hear that you didn't have a good experience in the past with your friends.

Yeah, things will get better at university as you encounter more mature people. But you would need to be out of your comfort zone to find out who'll be your friends and adapt to situations quickly. Hopefully, you'll find some good friends there and have a joyful experience. Good luck! :crossedf:

Original post by emkc_40

I am currently in year 12 at college, I only have one real friend and spend most of my time alone. I had a horrible high school experience; my so called ‘friends’ began ignoring me and I ended up eating alone in the toilets (gross I know). I spent my holidays alone at my house and nothing had really changed a year later. I have always thought that when I am in university things will be better and I will make friends for life and finally have the social life I have missed out on. But is this really true? Do things get better at university? Will I finally not be alone?

Hello,

Sorry to hear that you are finding it tough to make friends - it doesn't always come naturally and it sounds like you havent had a great experience with the friends you have made.

Overall, yes it does get easier making friends at uni - you are exposed to so many new people from all different ages and backgrounds, it's really refreshing.

My advice as a former commuter student would be is not to assume people aren't open to having more friends just because they already have a 'clique' or a steady group of friends. People love to meet new people, and honestly you could be surprised at how many people do actually want to make friends with you.

When I started uni i got a part time job and made a lot of friends through that, as well as people on my course and talking to other students at the gym. I didn't join any societies but a few of my course mates did and they said it's good to be surrounded by like minded people and you are likely to hit it off with other people due to your common interest!

Hope this helps, good luck with wherever you decide to go to uni :smile:

T

Reply 3

Lancaster Student Ambassador

Official Rep

15

Original post by emkc_40

I am currently in year 12 at college, I only have one real friend and spend most of my time alone. I had a horrible high school experience; my so called ‘friends’ began ignoring me and I ended up eating alone in the toilets (gross I know). I spent my holidays alone at my house and nothing had really changed a year later. I have always thought that when I am in university things will be better and I will make friends for life and finally have the social life I have missed out on. But is this really true? Do things get better at university? Will I finally not be alone?

Hey @emkc_40

I'm sorry your experience at college hasn't been great, I hope that it potentially gets easier for you as you enter Y13.
I've found it much easier to make friends at university and I think the main reason is because it's much less common for people to only have one group of friends they know and you meet a lot more people.

Obviously a lot of people are close with their flat mates, and I have friends on my course and from my part-time job too. I also have people I met through other people I know that I'm really close with now. Lancaster University has a really strong community vibe in that somehow everyone seems to know everyone! This means that if I want to go out, or chill and watch a film, or study on campus with a group there's usually someone available.

However, because university is so busy, you really have to put in the effort early on to meet those people and be open-minded and flexible. That may mean impulsively agreeing to go and do something instead of cleaning your room or another chore that was probably important to do - but I found that the last minute casual plans end up being some of the most memorable.

Good luck with your university applications!
Rebecca (Lancaster Student Ambassador) :smile:

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

I'm not going to sugarcoat it - if you struggle to make friends now it's not going to magically get better at university.
And trust me, you will want to make friends, otherwise your time will be kind of trash and lonely - take it from a guy that didn't make friends at all and now I'm ending the first year with no sense of achievement whatsoever - it's bleak, act fast and step outside your comfort zone unless you want to be miserable like me.

Reply 5

tiny hobbit

15

Original post by emkc_40

I am currently in year 12 at college, I only have one real friend and spend most of my time alone. I had a horrible high school experience; my so called ‘friends’ began ignoring me and I ended up eating alone in the toilets (gross I know). I spent my holidays alone at my house and nothing had really changed a year later. I have always thought that when I am in university things will be better and I will make friends for life and finally have the social life I have missed out on. But is this really true? Do things get better at university? Will I finally not be alone?

Prop your room door open in the first few days and invite anyone that passes to come in for coffee and a biscuit. That way you get to know flatmates/people living on the same corridor.

Join a society or two. It's much easier to make friends when you are doing a joint activity, whether that be a sport, tiddly winks, conservation... There will be societies for every imaginable activity and, at the beginning ot term, there will be some sort of socities' fair where the different societies are trying to attract new members from the new students.

Will I make friends at university?

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