I like this girl on my course some advice please
thank you for taking the time to read this
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Give us the deets then mate
tomorrow afternoon there is this class that she goes to, but i didnt end up choosing it, should i go sit in that class anyway? i mean, im interested in the class material too not being funny
but i feel defeated as there is no way of breaking the ice to her without being awkward probably
but i feel defeated as there is no way of breaking the ice to her without being awkward probably
1.
k here goes guys
I am a final year student, I like this girl in my course same year.
I am considered good looking, tall and a kind person, by people around me.
I also recognise the fact that i am narually a shy person, an introvert, due to my background and upbringing. I cannot say its all bad, because it has given me a sensitive, creative and artistic side which i appreciate.
I have never had the courage to talk to the girl i fancy. Because of my family and upbringing which i wont bore you with, I have suffered from anxiety and depression for the past, including my early uni years.
I would like to think that i have overcome a lot of the problems by now, in that i am now a much more confident person in interactions and communication.
I wish i was like now when i first entered uni. i was very different back then.
anyway, to the point, because of all these troubles i had in the past, i do not know many of the people on my course, including this girl who i like.
i know some of my coursemates and we would work together and grab a dirnk sometimes too. but i feel incredily vulnerable and anxious when it comes to the fact that i do not know her, nor she does me. i obeserved the people she is close with, i do not know them either.
anyway, life is full of these little details. i walked to the cafe to buy a coffee and just as i walked past the window i saw its that girl i like sitting alone doing revision.
I went in to buy a coffee, believe me ladies and gentlemen, i wanted almost every second while i was in the queue to just grab my coffee and walk up to her and talk. but i suffered struggled and didnt go to her
i saw her from behind, sitting alone working, i would loved to go up to her and introduce myself if this was first year and i just remember her from the class. because now i am confident enough. if it was me when i was a fresher, hell no i would not have been able to do that you see.
but thats wishful thinking as i am a different person now and a different time which cannot be turned back.
i felt pain because it would be awkward for me to just be like oh we are final years now and i like you and we still dont know each other nor do i know your friedns.
i felt vulnerable, i walked the oppsite way never even got close to her. i would have liked to be able to have a chance to get to know her, but i felt the awkwardness would outweight whatever else is there.
i would have liked to get to know her,
i would have... not say all of these (somewhat valid?) excuses to you now if i am a stronger more confident man. just as i am stronger more confident than when i entered uni. its just i felt it would be awkward to approach her.
we are in the same classes a lot, and tomorrow there is this class she goes to with only 10 students in it. i did not end up choosing this optional class, but should i just go sit in there, i like the class material too haha
there are 200+ people in my course, most i do not know. and such a shame i dont know her or her close friends, i knwo the course is big, but still is that normal to not know most of the 200+ people?
but anyways, thank you all kind ladies and gentlemen to take the time to read this, and i appreciate any suggestions you share with me!
(edited 6 years ago)
Sit next to her. You can play the highschool card and ask for a pencil then not give it back (I dont think thats the best idea). Or ask her if she knows a good person to study with.
Original post by TangledInStrings
thank you for taking the time to read this
I wouldn’t sit in her class because if I found out someone was doing that to me I’d freak out and run in the opposite direction; it’s like stalking.
Don’t underestimate the power of social media. You don’t have to say much or ask much straight away, but I would send her a message and make your intentions clear; you’ve noticed her on your course and regretted not talking to her before; does she want to grab a coffee sometime?
This should be much easier written than face-to-face. It’s a shame you don’t have mutual friends or you could ask their advice or to pass on a note or something.
The worst that could happen is she ignores your message or says no. Then you have an answer.
Good luck whatever you do
Original post by LoveLifeAndPie
Sit next to her. You can play the highschool card and ask for a pencil then not give it back (I dont think thats the best idea). Or ask her if she knows a good person to study with.
it will be so awkward, because i think she definitely recognises me as we see each other a lot this year in classes
but i dont think i remember her from previous years, she would remember me from earlier years either
so can i just pretend i switched from a similar course to here hence breaking the ice ditching the awkwardness
since she definitely recognise me from seeing me this year although we havent offically talked
also last weeek strangely i was trying to get a coffee before entering class, as i was queueing i just saw this girl i liked (right, lets just call her Kate for the purpose of our conversations)
so queueing in the coffee place and saw Kate wondering around, she definitely saw me even before i saw her, but she was just looking around, but then i got the coffee, and she started to walk to class
we were heading to the same class and we were both late i held the door open for her, she said thank you with a nice smile.
this is as i understand looking at the matter at my perspective, it could be accurate to a certain degree x%, x could be low or high, but thats just something
gosh i just wish i was this extrovert who does no thinking and just do what ever the bloody hell as he pleases, i feel like a coward
but i know that i have this very sensitive side to me, which will do good in other scarnarios
Original post by SMEGGGY
You have mates who can introduce you? Like wing man
unfortunately we do not have mutual friends, in fact, we only noticed each other's existance this year as there were loads people on the course
Original post by carrotstar
I wouldn’t sit in her class because if I found out someone was doing that to me I’d freak out and run in the opposite direction; it’s like stalking.
Don’t underestimate the power of social media. You don’t have to say much or ask much straight away, but I would send her a message and make your intentions clear; you’ve noticed her on your course and regretted not talking to her before; does she want to grab a coffee sometime?
This should be much easier written than face-to-face. It’s a shame you don’t have mutual friends or you could ask their advice or to pass on a note or something.
The worst that could happen is she ignores your message or says no. Then you have an answer.
Good luck whatever you do
Don’t underestimate the power of social media. You don’t have to say much or ask much straight away, but I would send her a message and make your intentions clear; you’ve noticed her on your course and regretted not talking to her before; does she want to grab a coffee sometime?
This should be much easier written than face-to-face. It’s a shame you don’t have mutual friends or you could ask their advice or to pass on a note or something.
The worst that could happen is she ignores your message or says no. Then you have an answer.
Good luck whatever you do
Thank you! these are some very valid points. it actually is a bit weird just to sit in her class like that now that you've mentioned it. id probably rather stay slient forever than to freak out anybody.
and yes social media may be the easier way to find out. haha you as a lady can feel what she may feel much more accurately than we do! so helpful!
Original post by FloralLuxe
Give us the deets then mate
as u you wish
Original post by TangledInStrings
Thank you! these are some very valid points. it actually is a bit weird just to sit in her class like that now that you've mentioned it. id probably rather stay slient forever than to freak out anybody.
and yes social media may be the easier way to find out. haha you as a lady can feel what she may feel much more accurately than we do! so helpful!
and yes social media may be the easier way to find out. haha you as a lady can feel what she may feel much more accurately than we do! so helpful!
I asked a girl I knew in passing out through a quick simple message on Facebook. Didn't end up going anywhere in the end after a few dates, but the majority of people will reply to a simple message asking if they want to grab a coffee (definitely seems to be an interest of both of you lol). The message didn't even state I had a crush on her, simply asked if she wanted to get a drink or have a stroll round campus.
Ok...here's the deal
1. Have you had a brew with her during a break? If not, offer one this is a good ice breaker and you can engage in small talk.
2. Have you had lunch with her? If not, invite her to lunch, nowt fancy, buy her lunch or even better make her some, a simple salad or a healthy sandwich and take it in to share (try to find out her likes and dislikes food wise first - see note 1- find out using small talk what food she likes.
3. Have you attended any social events with her?
4. How long have you known her? Has she noticed you? Have you spoken to her recently?
5. Do you think she likes you? try dropping some hints to her friends that you like her - you will then get some feedback a couple of days later. If its a non starter - sad to say don't waste her or your time and always be prepared for a knock back - is she is not interested in you don't push your luck ok.
6. Make her smile/laugh... try not to be silly - just jovial ok
7. Try to find out if you have anything in common - it could be music, art, reading or outdoor type stuff, or even a particular hobby - if it is a particular hobby - show a keen interest and do some research on it.
8. Be daring and walk right up to her and say if she is not doing anything (on a particular day) would she like to..... have a wander around town, go to the library etc, this is one of the best ways of getting to know her better...if she agrees to accompany you, arrange a date and time and even ask for her number so you can send her a message on where to meet up etc.
9. Be honest with her, don't waffle or try to impress her with over the top stuff and don't go all mushy on her or make a fool of yourself. If she she does like you, take things easy and don't be too overbearing i.e. don't become a weirdo stalker ok.
10. I don't know if you are a lad or a lass - but just be yourself, a simple approach works best. Take your time, don't rush things, most of all being friends first works best and see how things develop from there.
Good Luck.
From Steego
1. Have you had a brew with her during a break? If not, offer one this is a good ice breaker and you can engage in small talk.
2. Have you had lunch with her? If not, invite her to lunch, nowt fancy, buy her lunch or even better make her some, a simple salad or a healthy sandwich and take it in to share (try to find out her likes and dislikes food wise first - see note 1- find out using small talk what food she likes.
3. Have you attended any social events with her?
4. How long have you known her? Has she noticed you? Have you spoken to her recently?
5. Do you think she likes you? try dropping some hints to her friends that you like her - you will then get some feedback a couple of days later. If its a non starter - sad to say don't waste her or your time and always be prepared for a knock back - is she is not interested in you don't push your luck ok.
6. Make her smile/laugh... try not to be silly - just jovial ok
7. Try to find out if you have anything in common - it could be music, art, reading or outdoor type stuff, or even a particular hobby - if it is a particular hobby - show a keen interest and do some research on it.
8. Be daring and walk right up to her and say if she is not doing anything (on a particular day) would she like to..... have a wander around town, go to the library etc, this is one of the best ways of getting to know her better...if she agrees to accompany you, arrange a date and time and even ask for her number so you can send her a message on where to meet up etc.
9. Be honest with her, don't waffle or try to impress her with over the top stuff and don't go all mushy on her or make a fool of yourself. If she she does like you, take things easy and don't be too overbearing i.e. don't become a weirdo stalker ok.
10. I don't know if you are a lad or a lass - but just be yourself, a simple approach works best. Take your time, don't rush things, most of all being friends first works best and see how things develop from there.
Good Luck.
From Steego
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
I asked a girl I knew in passing out through a quick simple message on Facebook. Didn't end up going anywhere in the end after a few dates, but the majority of people will reply to a simple message asking if they want to grab a coffee (definitely seems to be an interest of both of you lol). The message didn't even state I had a crush on her, simply asked if she wanted to get a drink or have a stroll round campus.
Thank you Anonymous for sharing this with me
that's great to hear, its great that you guys went on dates thats progress. and enjoy the journey of it that what i think matters.
but may i ask if you knew each other before, or did you two only get to know each other after you messaging.
the slight problem in my case is that while we both recognise each other from attending same classes this year, we do not know each other officially.]
i wouldnt mind to make the move to invite her and to get to know her, but im just worried how she might feel given we dont know each other officially or through friends.
and r u sure a simple message would get a reply to invite you for a coffee, that's all good but sounds a bit too optimistic to me haha
Original post by Steego
Ok...here's the deal
1. Have you had a brew with her during a break? If not, offer one this is a good ice breaker and you can engage in small talk.
2. Have you had lunch with her? If not, invite her to lunch, nowt fancy, buy her lunch or even better make her some, a simple salad or a healthy sandwich and take it in to share (try to find out her likes and dislikes food wise first - see note 1- find out using small talk what food she likes.
3. Have you attended any social events with her?
4. How long have you known her? Has she noticed you? Have you spoken to her recently?
5. Do you think she likes you? try dropping some hints to her friends that you like her - you will then get some feedback a couple of days later. If its a non starter - sad to say don't waste her or your time and always be prepared for a knock back - is she is not interested in you don't push your luck ok.
6. Make her smile/laugh... try not to be silly - just jovial ok
7. Try to find out if you have anything in common - it could be music, art, reading or outdoor type stuff, or even a particular hobby - if it is a particular hobby - show a keen interest and do some research on it.
8. Be daring and walk right up to her and say if she is not doing anything (on a particular day) would she like to..... have a wander around town, go to the library etc, this is one of the best ways of getting to know her better...if she agrees to accompany you, arrange a date and time and even ask for her number so you can send her a message on where to meet up etc.
9. Be honest with her, don't waffle or try to impress her with over the top stuff and don't go all mushy on her or make a fool of yourself. If she she does like you, take things easy and don't be too overbearing i.e. don't become a weirdo stalker ok.
10. I don't know if you are a lad or a lass - but just be yourself, a simple approach works best. Take your time, don't rush things, most of all being friends first works best and see how things develop from there.
Good Luck.
From Steego
1. Have you had a brew with her during a break? If not, offer one this is a good ice breaker and you can engage in small talk.
2. Have you had lunch with her? If not, invite her to lunch, nowt fancy, buy her lunch or even better make her some, a simple salad or a healthy sandwich and take it in to share (try to find out her likes and dislikes food wise first - see note 1- find out using small talk what food she likes.
3. Have you attended any social events with her?
4. How long have you known her? Has she noticed you? Have you spoken to her recently?
5. Do you think she likes you? try dropping some hints to her friends that you like her - you will then get some feedback a couple of days later. If its a non starter - sad to say don't waste her or your time and always be prepared for a knock back - is she is not interested in you don't push your luck ok.
6. Make her smile/laugh... try not to be silly - just jovial ok
7. Try to find out if you have anything in common - it could be music, art, reading or outdoor type stuff, or even a particular hobby - if it is a particular hobby - show a keen interest and do some research on it.
8. Be daring and walk right up to her and say if she is not doing anything (on a particular day) would she like to..... have a wander around town, go to the library etc, this is one of the best ways of getting to know her better...if she agrees to accompany you, arrange a date and time and even ask for her number so you can send her a message on where to meet up etc.
9. Be honest with her, don't waffle or try to impress her with over the top stuff and don't go all mushy on her or make a fool of yourself. If she she does like you, take things easy and don't be too overbearing i.e. don't become a weirdo stalker ok.
10. I don't know if you are a lad or a lass - but just be yourself, a simple approach works best. Take your time, don't rush things, most of all being friends first works best and see how things develop from there.
Good Luck.
From Steego
ohhh! thank you kind sir!
1. unfortunately i have not had a brew with her, i'd probably be nervours to do that now that i feel i like her haha
2. no we have not had lunch. i would love to tho. the slight problem is that we do not know each other offically, she'd definitely recognise me, and i held the door for her once and she said thank you with a smile. which is good, i like it when people are polite. but if we knew each other at all, i'd not feel awkward to invite her to lunch. ahhah, thats the problem the awkwardness potentially to break the ice from not knowing each other before.
and if somehow we get to know each other, i would absolutely love to treat her to lunch or make something for her
3. no. because i think we have only observed the existance of each other this year, as it was a even bigger year group with 300 people before. which i guess is an advantage and a valid reason for not knowing each other already - hope its not too late
4.covered
5. yes! if she is not at all interested, then i am certainly not the type to try force something
6. this is a fantasitc point of advice. its actually kind of an art to do it well, gottta be natural haha which sometimes may be easier for me to say than to do but i will try
7. great point will do
8. i think this is a necessary step but perhaps one too early for me to take now, given we dont know each other officially. the pre-requisite i think for 8 to succeed is for me to find some clever and non-awkward way to get to know each other a slight bit. but the difficult part is that we dont know each other yet, only saw each other this year haha. clever and non-awkward way, if i can find one
9. yes sir this is one i will follow exactly, fantasitc point or principle i should say
10. haha im just an introverted young man with a good heart
Original post by TangledInStrings
ohhh! thank you kind sir!
1. unfortunately i have not had a brew with her, i'd probably be nervours to do that now that i feel i like her haha
2. no we have not had lunch. i would love to tho. the slight problem is that we do not know each other offically, she'd definitely recognise me, and i held the door for her once and she said thank you with a smile. which is good, i like it when people are polite. but if we knew each other at all, i'd not feel awkward to invite her to lunch. ahhah, thats the problem the awkwardness potentially to break the ice from not knowing each other before.
and if somehow we get to know each other, i would absolutely love to treat her to lunch or make something for her
3. no. because i think we have only observed the existance of each other this year, as it was a even bigger year group with 300 people before. which i guess is an advantage and a valid reason for not knowing each other already - hope its not too late
4.covered
5. yes! if she is not at all interested, then i am certainly not the type to try force something
6. this is a fantasitc point of advice. its actually kind of an art to do it well, gottta be natural haha which sometimes may be easier for me to say than to do but i will try
7. great point will do
8. i think this is a necessary step but perhaps one too early for me to take now, given we dont know each other officially. the pre-requisite i think for 8 to succeed is for me to find some clever and non-awkward way to get to know each other a slight bit. but the difficult part is that we dont know each other yet, only saw each other this year haha. clever and non-awkward way, if i can find one
9. yes sir this is one i will follow exactly, fantasitc point or principle i should say
10. haha im just an introverted young man with a good heart
1. unfortunately i have not had a brew with her, i'd probably be nervours to do that now that i feel i like her haha
2. no we have not had lunch. i would love to tho. the slight problem is that we do not know each other offically, she'd definitely recognise me, and i held the door for her once and she said thank you with a smile. which is good, i like it when people are polite. but if we knew each other at all, i'd not feel awkward to invite her to lunch. ahhah, thats the problem the awkwardness potentially to break the ice from not knowing each other before.
and if somehow we get to know each other, i would absolutely love to treat her to lunch or make something for her
3. no. because i think we have only observed the existance of each other this year, as it was a even bigger year group with 300 people before. which i guess is an advantage and a valid reason for not knowing each other already - hope its not too late
4.covered
5. yes! if she is not at all interested, then i am certainly not the type to try force something
6. this is a fantasitc point of advice. its actually kind of an art to do it well, gottta be natural haha which sometimes may be easier for me to say than to do but i will try
7. great point will do
8. i think this is a necessary step but perhaps one too early for me to take now, given we dont know each other officially. the pre-requisite i think for 8 to succeed is for me to find some clever and non-awkward way to get to know each other a slight bit. but the difficult part is that we dont know each other yet, only saw each other this year haha. clever and non-awkward way, if i can find one
9. yes sir this is one i will follow exactly, fantasitc point or principle i should say
10. haha im just an introverted young man with a good heart
Ok introverted young man with a good heart......crack on and get noticed..its never too early, watch out as another chap may just take bigger strides. Ding ding round one . over to you buddy.
Be bold TangedInStrings be bold. If the future seems overwhelming, always remember that it comes one moment at a time. Some days there won't be a song in your heart... Sing anywayThere is much more too say, in the meantime and to settle your nerves - here is a recipe for pancakes lol
Ingredients
1 cup all-purpose flour, (spooned and leveled)
2 tablespoons sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup milk
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted, or vegetable oil
1 large egg
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
Assorted toppings, such as butter, maple syrup, confectioners' sugar, honey, jams, preserves, sweetened whipped cream, or chocolate syrup, nutella, ice cream , lemon juice etc etc
DIRECTIONS
STEP 1
Preheat oven to 200 degrees; have a baking sheet or heatproof platter ready to keep cooked pancakes warm in the oven. In a small bowl, whisk together flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt; set aside.
IN THIS STEP:
How to Measure Flour
STEP 2
In a medium bowl, whisk together milk, butter (or oil), and egg. Add dry ingredients to milk mixture; whisk until just moistened (do not overmix; a few small lumps are fine).
STEP 3
Heat a large skillet (nonstick or cast-iron) or griddle over medium. Fold a sheet of paper towel in half, and moisten with oil; carefully rub skillet with oiled paper towel.
STEP 4
For each pancake, spoon 2 to 3 tablespoons of batter onto skillet, using the back of the spoon to spread batter into a round (you should be able to fit 2 to 3 in a large skillet).
STEP 5
Cook until surface of pancakes have some bubbles and a few have burst, 1 to 2 minutes. Flip carefully with a thin spatula, and cook until browned on the underside, 1 to 2 minutes more. Transfer to a baking sheet or platter; cover loosely with aluminum foil, and keep warm in oven. Continue with more oil and remaining batter. (You'll have 12 to 15 pancakes.) Serve warm, with desired toppings.Steego
Ingredients
1 cup all-purpose flour, (spooned and leveled)
2 tablespoons sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup milk
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted, or vegetable oil
1 large egg
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
Assorted toppings, such as butter, maple syrup, confectioners' sugar, honey, jams, preserves, sweetened whipped cream, or chocolate syrup, nutella, ice cream , lemon juice etc etc
DIRECTIONS
STEP 1
Preheat oven to 200 degrees; have a baking sheet or heatproof platter ready to keep cooked pancakes warm in the oven. In a small bowl, whisk together flour, sugar, baking powder, and salt; set aside.
IN THIS STEP:
How to Measure Flour
STEP 2
In a medium bowl, whisk together milk, butter (or oil), and egg. Add dry ingredients to milk mixture; whisk until just moistened (do not overmix; a few small lumps are fine).
STEP 3
Heat a large skillet (nonstick or cast-iron) or griddle over medium. Fold a sheet of paper towel in half, and moisten with oil; carefully rub skillet with oiled paper towel.
STEP 4
For each pancake, spoon 2 to 3 tablespoons of batter onto skillet, using the back of the spoon to spread batter into a round (you should be able to fit 2 to 3 in a large skillet).
STEP 5
Cook until surface of pancakes have some bubbles and a few have burst, 1 to 2 minutes. Flip carefully with a thin spatula, and cook until browned on the underside, 1 to 2 minutes more. Transfer to a baking sheet or platter; cover loosely with aluminum foil, and keep warm in oven. Continue with more oil and remaining batter. (You'll have 12 to 15 pancakes.) Serve warm, with desired toppings.Steego
Original post by Steego
Ok introverted young man with a good heart......crack on and get noticed..its never too early, watch out as another chap may just take bigger strides. Ding ding round one . over to you buddy.
Cheers
Original post by The RAR
Ask her is she can come to your room
I'm not the King of England... not yet
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