Hot and cold

Most likely explanation: He's got someone else. Either before he met you, Or since he met you.

Was his profile on the dating site still active on Valentines day?

Have you spent the night at his home? If so any signs that it was really his secret pad, or that his wife was away?

For him to bail on Valentine’s Day is kind of a big deal. It’s fairly early on in the relationship so he should be jumping at the opportunity to prove to you that he’s a good, honest and genuinely lovely guy- bailing on Valentine’s Day and then becoming distant isn’t going to do that.

Work is clearly important to him but surely he’s not working all of the time? Look at the way that he was talking when you first started dating and how he’s acting now, and if there’s a major difference then you either cut your losses and think “ah, the stress of wondering isn’t worth it” or just ask him if he would like to make plans for a day that he’s not busy with work. If he makes the plans and sticks to them, then great! He’s been honest and was just extremely busy with work, but if he says “I’ll let you know” or cancels the plans then it’s just not worth it!!

As a guy, I can tell you we prioritise very, very, very, very, very poorly.

Mind you, he could be fibbing the entire time, but he could also just be the guy who places a high importance on work. Why is that? Well, I do the exact same. It makes me feel important. "But personal relationships are important as ewll," you reply? Yes ... yes. Mum and dad disapprove of how I prioritise b/c of just the same, but I don't make the adjustment.

Again, not saying your other is in the same boat, but I want to share that people focus on different points all the time without meaning negativity or harm.

Does this answer your question? lol no

The fact you reached out to him to ask is tops in my book. Let him know when you'd like to meet next and make exceptions (due to schedule). If he bails again, let him know how you feel. He appears to care. Sounds like you have a solid communication, so let us know what happens at that stage, yea? (You sound lovely, btw.)

Ask him why. There's no point speculating with strangers like "ooh it could be this" "but then it also could be this too". Just ask him. Call him and say "what's the deal, I thought it was going well. You're being distant and not talking to me for over a week. Tell me what's going on." And if he makes some bullsh*tty excuse, then I would just walk away. Why waste your time with someone who is messing you around? Be straight and honest with him, no point tiptoeing around him for fear of seeming too needy. It's not needy to wonder why someone who you had regular contact with suddenly goes away, because that is rude as f*ck and he needs to realise it or he will never find someone to settle down with.

And what makes you think he'd tell the truth, if he's met someone else and is just keeping the OP "in reserve"?

It's reasonable to assume that he'd be able to lie convincingly about this.


And in the unlikely, but still possible, event that he has been totally honest and above board, this line of questioning would poison their relationship at this stage.

Giving him the third degree is not a wise course of action. There's nothing to be gained from it.

The OP should just see how this plays out naturally. Whilst keeping on the look-out for other potential boyfriends.

Don't ask, you don't get. Don't moan about not knowing the answer to an important question if you're too afraid to ask.