How to get my friend living with me to pay rent?
So, I've been really ill (I have a rare condition and doctors don't know what it is yet). I don't have much family and all my friends have full time jobs. I connected with a guy friend I knew a while ago who was also going through difficulties and had recently lost his job and so was homeless. He was going to go back to live with his parents but I asked him if he wanted to stay at mine (I have a huge place) and he obliged. This guy is very keen on me and wants to be in a relationship etc but I told him I'm too ill to think about any of that at the moment (which I genuinely am). He was OK with that and he's been extremely helpful in looking out for me.
Anyway, he has no money which is fine because I had savings so we've been living off those for the past 3 weeks but my savings are starting to run out. He had a bit of money and he paid for food and electric once, but everything else we've done - from rent to bills to places we've been to, little things for him like cigarettes etc has been paid for by me. He's getting paid from his last job soon and looking for a new one but he hasn't mentioned helping out with anything once he gets paid.
When I brought up the subject of that I'd struggle with bills etc until my ESA came through and asked if he could help out he mentioned I could get a crisis loan.
On the one hand, I did ask him to stay, but on the other, he was really happy to stay and if he's going to stay any further, I really feel we should split bills and rent etc, especially if he's working and I'm on ESA. Am I being unreasonable and how do I bring it up?
When he did have some money, he told me he spent it all on presents for me (which he didn't), but anyway, I really prefer help with the rent to presents but how do I breach this subject?
Anyway, he has no money which is fine because I had savings so we've been living off those for the past 3 weeks but my savings are starting to run out. He had a bit of money and he paid for food and electric once, but everything else we've done - from rent to bills to places we've been to, little things for him like cigarettes etc has been paid for by me. He's getting paid from his last job soon and looking for a new one but he hasn't mentioned helping out with anything once he gets paid.
When I brought up the subject of that I'd struggle with bills etc until my ESA came through and asked if he could help out he mentioned I could get a crisis loan.
On the one hand, I did ask him to stay, but on the other, he was really happy to stay and if he's going to stay any further, I really feel we should split bills and rent etc, especially if he's working and I'm on ESA. Am I being unreasonable and how do I bring it up?
When he did have some money, he told me he spent it all on presents for me (which he didn't), but anyway, I really prefer help with the rent to presents but how do I breach this subject?
(edited 5 years ago)
explain your situation and tell him that you cannot continue to accompany him as a result unless you two split 50/50. this is logical reasoning and if he gets offended or refuses to pay then contact your landlord and state your situation and agree to only pay half so that he ends up owing the landlord.
It's very important that the landlord knows that he staying with you too otherwise the landlord won't be tpo happy if there is a stranger living in the house regardless if the rent/bills are paid for or not.
It's very important that the landlord knows that he staying with you too otherwise the landlord won't be tpo happy if there is a stranger living in the house regardless if the rent/bills are paid for or not.
Original post by J_89
So, I've been really ill (I have a rare condition and doctors don't know what it is yet). I don't have much family and all my friends have full time jobs. I connected with a guy friend I knew a while ago who was also going through difficulties and had recently lost his job and so was homeless. He was going to go back to live with his parents but I asked him if he wanted to stay at mine (I have a huge place) and he obliged. This guy is very keen on me and wants to be in a relationship etc but I told him I'm too ill to think about any of that at the moment (which I genuinely am). He was OK with that and he's been extremely helpful in looking out for me.
Anyway, he has no money which is fine because I had savings so we've been living off those for the past 3 weeks but my savings are starting to run out. He had a bit of money and he paid for food and electric once, but everything else we've done - from rent to bills to places we've been to, little things for him like cigarettes etc has been paid for by me. He's getting paid from his last job soon and looking for a new one but he hasn't mentioned helping out with anything once he gets paid.
When I brought up the subject of that I'd struggle with bills etc until my ESA came through and asked if he could help out he mentioned I could get a crisis loan.
On the one hand, I did ask him to stay, but on the other, he was really happy to stay and if he's going to stay any further, I really feel we should split bills and rent etc, especially if he's working and I'm on ESA. Am I being unreasonable and how do I bring it up?
When he did have some money, he told me he spent it all on presents for me (which he didn't), but anyway, I really prefer help with the rent to presents but how do I breach this subject?
Anyway, he has no money which is fine because I had savings so we've been living off those for the past 3 weeks but my savings are starting to run out. He had a bit of money and he paid for food and electric once, but everything else we've done - from rent to bills to places we've been to, little things for him like cigarettes etc has been paid for by me. He's getting paid from his last job soon and looking for a new one but he hasn't mentioned helping out with anything once he gets paid.
When I brought up the subject of that I'd struggle with bills etc until my ESA came through and asked if he could help out he mentioned I could get a crisis loan.
On the one hand, I did ask him to stay, but on the other, he was really happy to stay and if he's going to stay any further, I really feel we should split bills and rent etc, especially if he's working and I'm on ESA. Am I being unreasonable and how do I bring it up?
When he did have some money, he told me he spent it all on presents for me (which he didn't), but anyway, I really prefer help with the rent to presents but how do I breach this subject?
You need to be firm and lay out the arrangement, once you've decided what that is. Presumably you're both getting benefits of some kind? He's taking the p*ss now. Why on earth are you buying him cigarettes if you're at the point of needing a crisis loan?
Original post by ddsizebra
contact your landlord and state your situation and agree to only pay half so that he ends up owing the landlord
OP don't do this unless you want to get evicted and sued, because that's what will happen. Only OP is on the contract, only OP is liable for rent, regardless of who they allow to live with them. It may even be that the contract doesn't allow other permanent residents, again leading to OP's eviction.
ddsizebra please never comment on anything to do with property law ever again.
Original post by DarthRoar
OP don't do this unless you want to get evicted and sued, because that's what will happen. Only OP is on the contract, only OP is liable for rent, regardless of who they allow to live with them. It may even be that the contract doesn't allow other permanent residents, again leading to OP's eviction.
ddsizebra please never comment on anything to do with property law ever again.
ddsizebra please never comment on anything to do with property law ever again.
well if he/she read the contract then he/she should've never let him. in to stay permanently since you know property law. If he/she has broken the tenancy agreement and you are helping him/her to get away with it because some person is making the tennent pay for his cigarettes I wouldn't really call it lawful... please don't contradict yourself ever again. idiot....
Say,
"Oi you freeloading son of a b**ch pay the f**king rent or ill kick you in the balls, throw your s**t in the street and change the locks! C**t!
"Oi you freeloading son of a b**ch pay the f**king rent or ill kick you in the balls, throw your s**t in the street and change the locks! C**t!
you're being completely reasonable to ask him this, the dude is clearly sponging off you
not saying this to be rude but don't be desperate to keep him around. either tell him to start paying or tell him he needs to leave. if you don't do either of these things hes just going to continue using you. it really is for the best imo if you just ask him to leave. heck you can be friends without him living with you
not saying this to be rude but don't be desperate to keep him around. either tell him to start paying or tell him he needs to leave. if you don't do either of these things hes just going to continue using you. it really is for the best imo if you just ask him to leave. heck you can be friends without him living with you
Yep girl hes using you. I've been in a relationship like this myself, with a guy who was also homeless and unemployed and very reluctant to pay towards anything even when he did start getting money. He was a complete freeloader and enjoyed having a sugarmommy looking after him and doing everything for him. At least you say your guy helps out, my dude didn't even do much, rarely made time for me, started becoming really ungrateful etc wasn't long until I tossed him out. Hes still got his parents, just give him an ultimatum - he either starts paying or he leaves.
It looks like he's deliberately avoiding it, most likely because he has nowhere to go. You aren't being unreasonable, but you've got a homeless, unemployed guy on your hands who's going to try to keep a roof over his head. If you want him to pay rent or get out, then that's unfortunately what you're going to have to say to his face.
A question though, if you're struggling to pay the rent and bills, does booting him out make it more affordable?
A question though, if you're struggling to pay the rent and bills, does booting him out make it more affordable?
Just tell him. So far you offered him a place to be for free, you just need to tell him that's changed and he can pay rent or move out.
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