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Regret.

So, I started University in 2016, studying Psychology at Bangor University, straight after I finished secondary school. I lived with my parents whilst studying the course. This is my first regret. I spent the whole year travelling back and forth via bus to my lectures, which I hated because I felt like I couldn't make friends very easily, and, well, bus journeys are horrible.

By the end of my first year I decided that I wanted live at Student Hall's so I could make more friends, and be amongst the other students. Over the Summer, I was convinced by friends and family that I shouldn't go to student accomodation beacuse, I only live a 15 minute drive away from the University, and financially it didn't make sense to go "just to meet new people".

So, I started my 2nd year still living at home, the first few months were tolerable, but, around the start of my second semester, I felt like I needed to drop out. I really wasn't enjoying it, and lost all motivation to attend lectures and complete essay's. So in February 2018, I dropped out of university.

That summer, I got a part time job (first ever job), learnt how to drive, and throught the past year I feel like I've matured so much more than I ever have, even during puberty. I have learnt so much about my self, and focused on self-improvement.

Now, I want to go back to university, BUT... in the back of my mind I keep thinking how sad it is that all those in my class last year have will all be graduating in a week or so, and moving on with their lives, whilst I'm doing what I should have done over a year ago. I'm someone who has an unhealthy obsession with the past, and the need for familiarity. I just don't know what to do next... I really regret not being able to finish the course and further the few friendships/relationships I had with the people in my class. I'd find it so sad sitting in the same lecture hall that I sat in over a year ago, full of 200+ year 2 students that I've never seen before. Any thoughts or advice?

Thank you.

Tl;dr: Regret not going to hall's, dropped out of university at the start of year 2, semester 2, due to a total loss of motivation. Now feel a lot more mature a year later after focusing on myself during this 'gap year'. Want to go back to university, but I'd find it hard/sad sitting in the same lecture hall that I sat in 2 years ago, with 200+ year 2 students that I've never seen before. Thoughts and advice please?

Reply 1

Xarao

I still don't think you're near mature enough of going back to university. "But I'd find it hard/sad sitting in the same lecture hall 2 years ago with people I've never seen before". Are you being for real?

You come to university to study and get your degree, making friends come next or whatever is next on your priority list. I'd recommend you take a couple more gap years till you realise this.

Reply 2

PhoenixFortune

Original post by Anonymous

Now, I want to go back to university, BUT... in the back of my mind I keep thinking how sad it is that all those in my class last year have will all be graduating in a week or so, and moving on with their lives, whilst I'm doing what I should have done over a year ago. I'm someone who has an unhealthy obsession with the past, and the need for familiarity. I just don't know what to do next... I really regret not being able to finish the course and further the few friendships/relationships I had with the people in my class. I'd find it so sad sitting in the same lecture hall that I sat in over a year ago, full of 200+ year 2 students that I've never seen before. Any thoughts or advice?

I think this part of your OP is your main concern, and something you need to work on. Everyone reflects on the past and sometimes thinks about their regrets, but it's not healthy to let these thoughts hold you back for getting on with your future. You can't change the decisions you made in the past, so you only have two choices:
1. Don't go back to university because you don't want to be with second years that you don't know
2. Go back to university, and get over the idea that everyone around you is a stranger and that your cohort is now doing other things. You can make new friends with this cohort, and no one will care that you dropped out before.

I'm presuming that ultimately you do want to return to university, and you need to think about which choice you would regret less.

It might be useful to go and talk to someone about your feelings, as it might not be a good idea to commit to going back while these are still unresolved and affecting you so strongly. Whether it be a counsellor, your GP, someone at your university etc., they will be able to advise you on how to move forward positively.