I just don't really get crushes on anyone. I do for like a week, but I quickly convince myself I don't and then I'm genuinely happy just being friends (and even this is super rare). I struggle with seeing the point in relationships at the moment because I'll be going to uni in September, but I'm worried ill still be like this at uni.
It's not that I don't want a relationship - I really love the idea of one, and I know I'm attracted to guys. I'm a really touchy-feely person aha, and I really value my friendships and connections with people. I just never want romantic relationships with people I meet
Well, sometimes I do, but as soon as there's even the slightest hint of them showing an interest in me I just COMPLETELY go off them. It's horrible, like I almost feel repulsed by the thought of being in a relationship with them (sorry, I know it sounds harsh, just not sure how to explain it). And they can be amazing (and very attractive) guys, but I just I start picking and finding every fault in them. I don't know why, maybe it's because I'm nervous of actually having a relationships and so subconsciously convince myself I shouldn't??? Or am I just completely emotionally unavailable?
ALSO I don't mean to sound cocky or anything, because I don't see the appeal, but this has happened a lot over the last few years. Whenever I start to become close with a guy they end up "liking" me and it hurts so much because I lose a friend. I don't know what to do. I don't intentionally send out any "signals" or anything, I'm just being friendly. I suspect it might be because I'm a confident and friendly, but reserved, so maybe when I start to open up to them a bit (as I think we're becoming close friends) they take this the wrong way? These are never the guys I have those kind of half-crushes on either. I just don't know what to do at this point.