Is 19 too young to get pregnant?

I'm just wondering people's opinions on this, of course, I don't take this sort of decision lightly but thought it'd be interesting to know the general consensus about people's views on young pregnancies.

At the moment, I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 21. We've discussed having a family in the future and we both would love one, as soon as we're ready and in a favourable financial situation. I was thinking next year, I turn 19 and finish my A-Level exams, then we're moving out together in the summer. As soon as I'm doing these exams I'll be applying to full-time jobs, hopefully to have one as soon as I'm done, get an income to supplement my savings (I'm looking for a remote part-time job atm too but not holding out much hope of getting one, just an fyi). So... if I were to fall pregnant early next year, before/during my exams, having the baby in the autumn, would that be a horrific decision?

I grew up in a large young family so having kids is something I'm used to, my boyfriend is very paternal as it is so I don't see any problems in us being unable to parent for the baby, though of course, I'm not expecting it to be easy. We're both very committed to each other, he's been a massive priority to me for a long time and he's willing to make many financial decisions to help us out, e.g. get a cheaper car, work longer hours, so I know he's dedicated to us.

So thoughts? It'd also be interesting to know the experiences of young mums aswell, if there's any on here any responses would be great

I would say that you are barely an adult and you haven't experienced everything life has to offer before kids. Being siblings with many kids isn't the same as being their parents. Though I'm sure you know that. You working a part time job and him working a full time one isn't a great financial situation as you both are young with little to no work experience so I don't assume your pays are good enough to support a child along with you two. You two should enjoy life a bit more before having kids, I think.

There's so much personal growth you both need to do to be able to provide your child(ren) with a good upbringing. My mum had me and my brother when she was 18. Sure she and my dad had jobs, barely enough money to get us by though, and they spent most of their lives at work trying to support us. We barely saw them at home. Not to mention the emotional immaturity both of them had. I'm not saying they weren't maternal and paternal, that they didn't have good parenting instincts. Not at all. I'm saying they had no time to work on themselves and get over their own childhood traumas before having us, they had no time to research how to bring up children in a healthy way, they had no idea what it was like to be just with themselves.
The end result? They passed their own childhood traumas onto us, me and my brother had awful communication skills and problems with our own relationships later on that stemmed from our childhood. We still do. I am angry with my parents for it. My father was the worst, I barely talk to him because I can't stand how much he messed us up. I didn't have to go through all this just so they can have kids, that's very selfish. If only they had us a few years later they would've known better, about themselves and how to bring up kids. And both of my parents were from massive families. I have countless cousins.

You can really ruin your children's entire lives by not being emotionally and mentally ready for children. And at 18 you're definitely not ready, mentally. You need to figure out who you are first, you need to find your faults, you need to find those parts of yourself that could be harmful for your children and actively work on them. Take classes, learn about the psychology of child development.

I know you want kids, and I understand. But there's no need to rush. There's so much to life other than kids, and after having kids you're very limited on what you can actually do. Please take some years to work on yourselves, to improve who you are and get over those traumas. Your children will thank you for it.

It really does vary with each person. For myself personally, 19 would have been too young for me to have a child. But people are at different stages of life at 19. If you and your boyfriend will be able to look after a child in all senses, provide a stable, financially secure home for them, then 19 isn't too young.

Being pregnant whilst you're doing exams may not be the best idea though. You never know if you'll have complications, struggles within pregnancy e.g. severe sickness or other difficulties, so there's a risk there of it interfering with your studies. There's no rush, so I'd say to wait until you've finished your education and have a job, and a combined income with your boyfriend that can support a child.

It is a very personal decision and one only you and your boyfriend can make. You sound like your relationship is healthy with lots of love to give a child so I'm sure that whenever you do decide to have a baby, it will be a very positive experience and joyous time. Whatever you decide to do, good luck

Personally I am prioritising a career before a family as having a family before starting a career is much harder to do. So once I’m happy with myself job and financially wise, then I’ll consider it.

Kids a huge commitment not just to each others lives but also your socioeconomic position for at least a couple decades but potentially your whole life.

I wont be having kids until I believe I have the reasonably strong financial security, a decent financial fallback fund and I have the capabilities to provide a stable environment for the kid to grow up in. I also whilst don't think "the nuclear family" is by any means the be all and end all, i do think it is generally the best environment and thus would look to ensure the family side of things are as assured as they can be (although the reality is the world is transient, and with the best will in the world you cannot always plan around this).

I think in the UK at 19 it is very hard to do this, and you also lose out on a lot of life experiences other young people get to have. I also dont believe at 19 you really know what you want out of life yet.

Honestly people grow at different rates so there is no correct age to be a parent. But i'm gonna keep it simple I was always told one way to tell if your ready. Can you look after yourself. If you have the stability financially etc. to be indepedent and look after yourself then your probably capable of looking after another human being. If you can't look after yourself you can't look after a child.

Dayum you haven't even finished your Alevels and want a kid lol.

This response is really kind, thank you.

I did briefly consider the exam part, but you bring up a very valid point. I hadn't really considered it could be so bad that it'd disrupt my studies and potentially my entire career/future, like if something went wrong. I don't know if being young would put your body at more risk of pregnancy complications, admittedly I'm not too clued up on that part. So I think you're right, complete exams first, ensure that's all good before risking complications that could mess things up. Think I underestimated the struggles of pregnancy a bit :')

Thank you so much!!

I really appreciate this response, thank you so much for sharing. I understand your point completely, emotional maturity of the parents is a massive factor and I'm aware of how much it can mess children up; I was born when my parents were barely in their twenties, so it's not quite the same but I definitely notice how their way of parenting differed from older parents who had more life experience and in turn were more mature. I'm extremely concerned about passing on childhood trauma, part of me is worried that I'm just trying to replicate my childhood in a way, where all I did was look after my siblings because I don't know any different. So I get where you're coming from and I'm so sorry you had that experience!!! There's definitely some sort of link between young parents coming from massive families and continuing the toxic cycle. I absolutely don't want to have kids who grow up to hate me and move away as soon as possible, which is pretty much my whole reasoning for moving out of home relatively early.

As for finances, I definitely agree, but we'd both have stable full-time jobs before even considering starting a family and enough money to support us, I absolutely wouldn't even consider it if I thought we'd be unable to afford a baby.

Thank you again, I appreciate you sharing (:

I'm thinking about it yeah, I'd want one AFTER finishing them tho

No- 19 is not too young.
But age is not the most relevant factor.

It is more a question of personal priorities, health, finances, stability, maturity, a reasonably safe living environment and the ability to adequately provide for a child's basic physical & emotional needs for 18 years.
Personally I won't have a baby until I am a property owner, with a committed male co-parent who understand the importance of being a good father for at least 18 years and I have access to an annual income of at least £110k (assuming living in London).