I'm pregnant, what should I do?
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Original post by Josb
Considering that she didn't want it and said that she doesn't have the ressource to raise it, chances are that this baby (and her) will have a *****y life.
"The next Queen".
"The next Queen".
There's no evidence against that claim? Generally not trolling or anything but I personally think it's wrong on so many levels, regardless of the crap that people come up with saying their senses are hardly developed and it doesn't harm them.
But then again, you're right to with the financial difficulty to raise the child.
It's a complex issue, but aborting a child is not the answer and there are many ways around financial difficulty so Op can't use this as an excuse.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by alexp98
Not the point, have to think about it morally, how incredible that baby could have been, could have been the next Queen for all we know.
A baby's potential to be something great is not based on their DNA, its based on how they are raised, the environment they grow up in and the resources they were provided growing up. All of which I cannot provide the best for at this current moment so the chances of that baby not struggling or being a genius is very low.
Original post by Josb
Considering that she didn't want it and said that she doesn't have the ressource to raise it, chances are that this baby (and her) will have a *****y life.
"The next Queen".
"The next Queen".
Exactly this.
Original post by alexp98
Not the point, have to think about it morally, how incredible that baby could have been, could have been the next Queen for all we know.
How the f*** would the baby be the next Queen? That is not exactly how the blue bloods work
Unless OP has had unprotected sex with Prince Charles recently and Prince William, Prince Harry, Prince George and Princess Charlotte all suddenly vanish.
Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes
How the f*** would the baby be the next Queen? That is not exactly how the blue bloods work
Unless OP has had unprotected sex with Prince Charles recently and Prince William, Prince Harry, Prince George and Princess Charlotte all suddenly vanish.
Unless OP has had unprotected sex with Prince Charles recently and Prince William, Prince Harry, Prince George and Princess Charlotte all suddenly vanish.
All I'm saying is let's not rule it out fam
Original post by JohnGreek
I was wondering when a pro-lifer would pop up.
Also, statistically speaking, no, this baby would have likely had a poor quality of living in a single parent household. A mother working all day, possibly struggling to get enough funds to ensure its basic needs are met (at least until she graduates), and possibly not having the will or the capacity to devote as much time as she should, isn't exactly the best environment for a newborn to be in.
Your morality can be easily flipped on its head when we consider how it may be 'immoral' to bring a baby into the world in sub-par conditions, when in fact it's perfectly possible for the OP to wait until she's in a career and long-term relationship before conceiving.
Also, statistically speaking, no, this baby would have likely had a poor quality of living in a single parent household. A mother working all day, possibly struggling to get enough funds to ensure its basic needs are met (at least until she graduates), and possibly not having the will or the capacity to devote as much time as she should, isn't exactly the best environment for a newborn to be in.
Your morality can be easily flipped on its head when we consider how it may be 'immoral' to bring a baby into the world in sub-par conditions, when in fact it's perfectly possible for the OP to wait until she's in a career and long-term relationship before conceiving.
I was wandering when an anti-lifer would attempt justifying it.
'Statistically speaking' lol, don't use statistics and speak yourself because you can't numerise an opinion. And yeah that's fine if she doesn't want the baby, but all I'm saying is don't use *****y excuses like 'ohh it's not financially possible or 'I wouldn't be able to prove the baby a good life' because that's complete ********. When you want to do something you can easily go out of your way to do it no amtter how difficult and seek help.
Point in trying to make is it's fine if she doesn't want it and aborting would make her happy. But don't use poor excuses because there has been and always will be millions of parents who have raised an unexpected child in good conditions, despite the socio economic circumstances.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by alexp98
Point in trying to make is it's fine if she doesn't want it and aborting would make her happy. But don't use poor excuses because there has been and always will be millions of parents who have raised an unexpected child in good conditions, despite the socio economic circumstances.
Point in trying to make is it's fine if she doesn't want it and aborting would make her happy. But don't use poor excuses because there has been and always will be millions of parents who have raised an unexpected child in good conditions, despite the socio economic circumstances.
The statistics matter because there are many MORE billions of parents who have raised an unexpected child in terrible and subpar conditions mostly because of their poor socio-economic circumstances. The minority doesn't change the facts about what happens to the majority.
Original post by alexp98
Not the point, have to think about it morally, how incredible that baby could have been, could have been the next Queen for all we know.
There's no morals involved here. It's not a baby yet. By your logic, i should be crying each time i fap and kill millions of potential Kings and Queens.
OP I'd just have the abortion and get it over with. The longer you wait, the harder it is it do. At least go to a clinic and book an appointment
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Hello. I am an 18 years old female. I found out that I was pregnant today and I'm under a month in. During the time I was with my ex and on the day that we did decide not to use a condom (very stupidly), I took a morning after pill so I thought I was safe but in the past week or so I've been getting symptoms and a lack of period that made me go to the clinic today.
I've decided that I want an abortion because of how many cons there are to pros. I know my parents would not be supportive at all, I'm not financially stable, I literally JUST got my education and my career back on track (Finally found something that I'm passionate about and have a placement secured and the next 5 years planned incl uni) AND my ex does not even want a relationship with me let alone a baby so I would feel like I'm forcing him into a situation he doesn't want to be in and I wouldn't want that feeling for the next who knows years WITH a child. I also want to make sure my child grows up in a loving environment with lots of stability and happiness and I don't think I can provide that right now.
On the other hand I just have these strong maternal instincts that I just can't shake and my heart keeps telling me to keep it. How do I deal with this emotional side of things whilst getting an abortion?
I've decided that I want an abortion because of how many cons there are to pros. I know my parents would not be supportive at all, I'm not financially stable, I literally JUST got my education and my career back on track (Finally found something that I'm passionate about and have a placement secured and the next 5 years planned incl uni) AND my ex does not even want a relationship with me let alone a baby so I would feel like I'm forcing him into a situation he doesn't want to be in and I wouldn't want that feeling for the next who knows years WITH a child. I also want to make sure my child grows up in a loving environment with lots of stability and happiness and I don't think I can provide that right now.
On the other hand I just have these strong maternal instincts that I just can't shake and my heart keeps telling me to keep it. How do I deal with this emotional side of things whilst getting an abortion?
If he won't use a condom, don't have sex with him. It's the most effective way of preventing unwanted pregnancy and if he's unwilling then don't do it!
But you said he's your ex now? What happened there, was it to do with the pregnancy?
If s, he's a jackass! Well he is anyway tbh.
But if you want the baby, have an abortion! You're only 18, go out and enjoy life and do what you want to do. Then maybe settle down with a nice guy and determine if you want a kid then.
But obviously it's your choice as to what you do.
I'd say, have an abortion and focus on your education as it seems like you're doing really well! Don't ruin this with an unwanted kid with a jackass ex guy friend!
Hope this helps.
Original post by alexp98
Not the point, have to think about it morally, how incredible that baby could have been, could have been the next Queen for all we know.
Could have been the next Hitler for all we know.
A very hard decision but I've gone through similar but as the BF not the GF (we deiced that we didn't want the child as we were too young and weren't stable enough financially or maturity wise to raise a child (I say we I didn't put any pressure on her to make a choice and told her I would support WHATEVER choice was made and in the end on refection it was the right choice.)
this is of course your choice and any choice you make will be difficult but you are young and you have the rest of your life before you.
You're right to say that if the BF doesn't want a relationship having a child with him would be disastrous with regret and anger being a major part of any future relationship you two have which for any child born as a rest would be horrible
All I can say is you do need someone to talk to openly and freely about your feelings so a very close friend or family member (but one who won;t judge you) or even someone impartial would help you immensely
Good luck what ever you decide but do remember this is YOUR choice and YOUR choice alone.
this is of course your choice and any choice you make will be difficult but you are young and you have the rest of your life before you.
You're right to say that if the BF doesn't want a relationship having a child with him would be disastrous with regret and anger being a major part of any future relationship you two have which for any child born as a rest would be horrible
All I can say is you do need someone to talk to openly and freely about your feelings so a very close friend or family member (but one who won;t judge you) or even someone impartial would help you immensely
Good luck what ever you decide but do remember this is YOUR choice and YOUR choice alone.
You should not abort the baby. You are not a murderrer. Your potential baby wants all the opportunities that you want in life and he is equally entitled to them. You have no right to strip someone else of the right to live. You will never forgive yourself. If you kill your own baby, then what is left to kill?
I have nothing against adoption by the way. You might want to give that some thought.
I have nothing against adoption by the way. You might want to give that some thought.
hard decision, but don't pretend you're doing what's right for the baby, when in fact what you're doing what's is right for you.
imagine you were a baby growing inside a womb, and someone gave you two options
1) be born into a life where mum is on the doll [or has few resources] therefore you are somewhat worst off than most kids
2) be killed by a poison pill over two days, and die
Guaranteed almost everyone here would pick the first option.
best option for the baby, would be to have the baby and get it adopted straight after birth. The baby would go onto live a better life than you can give it, and more importantly he would get to LIVE
imagine you were a baby growing inside a womb, and someone gave you two options
1) be born into a life where mum is on the doll [or has few resources] therefore you are somewhat worst off than most kids
2) be killed by a poison pill over two days, and die
Guaranteed almost everyone here would pick the first option.
best option for the baby, would be to have the baby and get it adopted straight after birth. The baby would go onto live a better life than you can give it, and more importantly he would get to LIVE
Original post by Anonymous
I know I'm getting the abortion but how am I going to deal with it emotionally? 
I feel like I'm giving up a potential life... its DNA has already been figured out and its sex has already been determined
I feel like I'm giving up a potential life... its DNA has already been figured out and its sex has already been determinedThe sex was already determined before you even knew you were pregnant..
You're thinking too much into it. Just go ahead with it because the longer you wait, the harder it becomes
Original post by ANM775
hard decision, but don't pretend you're doing what's right for the baby, when in fact what you're doing what's is right for you.
imagine you were a baby growing inside a womb, and someone gave you two options
1) be born into a life where mum is on the doll [or has few resources] therefore you are somewhat worst off than most kids
2) be killed by a poison pill over two days, and die
Guaranteed almost everyone here would pick the first option.
best option for the baby, would be to have the baby and get it adopted straight after birth. The baby would go onto live a better life than you can give it, and more importantly he would get to LIVE
imagine you were a baby growing inside a womb, and someone gave you two options
1) be born into a life where mum is on the doll [or has few resources] therefore you are somewhat worst off than most kids
2) be killed by a poison pill over two days, and die
Guaranteed almost everyone here would pick the first option.
best option for the baby, would be to have the baby and get it adopted straight after birth. The baby would go onto live a better life than you can give it, and more importantly he would get to LIVE
Who are you to scare someone into continuing their pregnancy? It's easy for you to type this nonsense but it's HER life that will ultimately change dramatically if she keeps the baby, not yours.
Original post by TrotskyiteRebel
You should not abort the baby. You are not a murderrer. Your potential baby wants all the opportunities that you want in life and he is equally entitled to them. You have no right to strip someone else of the right to live. You will never forgive yourself. If you kill your own baby, then what is left to kill?
I have nothing against adoption by the way. You might want to give that some thought.
I have nothing against adoption by the way. You might want to give that some thought.
Having an abortion doesn't make you a murderer. You have no right to tell someone what they should do with their body
Original post by cherryred90s
Who are you to scare someone into continuing their pregnancy? It's easy for you to type this nonsense but it's HER life that will ultimately change dramatically if she keeps the baby, not yours.
I did not type nonsense, I typed the TRUTH
but the truth hurts.
people like to convince themselves they are putting the baby's interest first when having an abortion but in the vast majority cases it is their interests they are putting first. My post just highlighted that in a crystal clear fashion.
I'm sorry you have to read some of the comments on here calling you a murderer and amoral. Asking this sort of question on the Internet tends to give you this sort of response! 
I personally never want children and I have been told by a lot of people that I'm being selfish and it's amoral. These people also tend to be the people calling people who want abortions amoral and horrible people. I think it's because these people really want and love children so they can't understand people who don't. My mother wasn't the most loving person in the world. She looked after me and was never mean, but I could tell she just didn't really like children. In my situation I wish my mum had just had an abortion, it's an awful feeling to know other parents love their children more than your parent loves you and you wonder what you did wrong.
If you don't think you can love and care for the child 100% without ever being resentful about what you missed because you had the child I think you are making the right choice. You can always have another child when you are ready to provide for it and love it. Please don't let the mean comments on here get to you! Make the choice that is best for you, it will be the best for the child as well.
I agree with other people on here that you should talk to a close friend or family member about it. I'm sure you're feeling very scared and upset at the moment so talking about it can help. If you would prefer to talk to a stranger I'm sure there are support groups as well.
I personally never want children and I have been told by a lot of people that I'm being selfish and it's amoral. These people also tend to be the people calling people who want abortions amoral and horrible people. I think it's because these people really want and love children so they can't understand people who don't. My mother wasn't the most loving person in the world. She looked after me and was never mean, but I could tell she just didn't really like children. In my situation I wish my mum had just had an abortion, it's an awful feeling to know other parents love their children more than your parent loves you and you wonder what you did wrong.
If you don't think you can love and care for the child 100% without ever being resentful about what you missed because you had the child I think you are making the right choice. You can always have another child when you are ready to provide for it and love it. Please don't let the mean comments on here get to you! Make the choice that is best for you, it will be the best for the child as well.
I agree with other people on here that you should talk to a close friend or family member about it. I'm sure you're feeling very scared and upset at the moment so talking about it can help. If you would prefer to talk to a stranger I'm sure there are support groups as well.
Original post by ANM775
I did not type nonsense, I typed the TRUTH
but the truth hurts.
people like to convince themselves they are putting the baby's interest first when having an abortion but in the vast majority cases it is their interests they are putting first. My post just highlighted that in a crystal clear fashion.
but the truth hurts.
people like to convince themselves they are putting the baby's interest first when having an abortion but in the vast majority cases it is their interests they are putting first. My post just highlighted that in a crystal clear fashion.
You have to put your own interests first before you consider raising a child..if you're not stable to support yourself, how can you support someone else?
I was in the same situation as you around the same age and I think it's very difficult for people to comment on a situation like this unless they have been through it themselves and honestly some of these comments are disgusting for you to have to read. Why people can't take a situation like this seriously or not comment at all i'll never know.My best advice is to speak to people around you, nobody in the health service tells you about the stress and aftermath of having an abortion. It's a process you will go through and there are a lot of feelings that even knowing you want an abortion you will not expect to feel. As said above don't rush into anything but don't leave it to long. I rushed into my decision (finding out I was pregnant and having the abortion within a week) and I never had time to sit back and think about everything properly. Might sound like I'm saying don't have an abortion but I assure you I'm not, I'm glad I had mine for the benefit of the child but it did take me a long time to be able to accept what I did.Obviously it will be different for everybody and I did have a bit of a traumatic time but just do whats best for you and make sure you have a good support system around you throughout it all. If you do need a chat or any advice on anything don't hesitate to ask.Best of luck x
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