Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Josb)
    Considering that she didn't want it and said that she doesn't have the ressource to raise it, chances are that this baby (and her) will have a *****y life.

    "The next Queen". :rolleyes:
    There's no evidence against that claim? Generally not trolling or anything but I personally think it's wrong on so many levels, regardless of the crap that people come up with saying their senses are hardly developed and it doesn't harm them.
    But then again, you're right to with the financial difficulty to raise the child.

    It's a complex issue, but aborting a child is not the answer and there are many ways around financial difficulty so Op can't use this as an excuse.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by alexp98)
    Not the point, have to think about it morally, how incredible that baby could have been, could have been the next Queen for all we know.
    A baby's potential to be something great is not based on their DNA, its based on how they are raised, the environment they grow up in and the resources they were provided growing up. All of which I cannot provide the best for at this current moment so the chances of that baby not struggling or being a genius is very low.

    (Original post by Josb)
    Considering that she didn't want it and said that she doesn't have the ressource to raise it, chances are that this baby (and her) will have a *****y life.

    "The next Queen". :rolleyes:
    Exactly this.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by alexp98)
    Not the point, have to think about it morally, how incredible that baby could have been, could have been the next Queen for all we know.
    How the f*** would the baby be the next Queen? That is not exactly how the blue bloods work

    Unless OP has had unprotected sex with Prince Charles recently and Prince William, Prince Harry, Prince George and Princess Charlotte all suddenly vanish.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Have an abortion and don't have sex until you're married and have a husband who can support you.
    Online

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by alexp98)
    Not the point, have to think about it morally, how incredible that baby could have been, could have been the next Queen for all we know.
    I was wondering when a pro-lifer would pop up.

    Also, statistically speaking, no, this baby would have likely had a poor quality of living in a single parent household. A mother working all day, possibly struggling to get enough funds to ensure its basic needs are met (at least until she graduates), and possibly not having the will or the capacity to devote as much time as she should, isn't exactly the best environment for a newborn to be in.

    Your morality can be easily flipped on its head when we consider how it may be 'immoral' to bring a baby into the world in sub-par conditions, when in fact it's perfectly possible for the OP to wait until she's in a career and long-term relationship before conceiving.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    How the f*** would the baby be the next Queen? That is not exactly how the blue bloods work

    Unless OP has had unprotected sex with Prince Charles recently and Prince William, Prince Harry, Prince George and Princess Charlotte all suddenly vanish.
    All I'm saying is let's not rule it out fam
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by JohnGreek)
    I was wondering when a pro-lifer would pop up.

    Also, statistically speaking, no, this baby would have likely had a poor quality of living in a single parent household. A mother working all day, possibly struggling to get enough funds to ensure its basic needs are met (at least until she graduates), and possibly not having the will or the capacity to devote as much time as she should, isn't exactly the best environment for a newborn to be in.

    Your morality can be easily flipped on its head when we consider how it may be 'immoral' to bring a baby into the world in sub-par conditions, when in fact it's perfectly possible for the OP to wait until she's in a career and long-term relationship before conceiving.
    I was wandering when an anti-lifer would attempt justifying it.

    'Statistically speaking' lol, don't use statistics and speak yourself because you can't numerise an opinion. And yeah that's fine if she doesn't want the baby, but all I'm saying is don't use *****y excuses like 'ohh it's not financially possible or 'I wouldn't be able to prove the baby a good life' because that's complete ********. When you want to do something you can easily go out of your way to do it no amtter how difficult and seek help.

    Point in trying to make is it's fine if she doesn't want it and aborting would make her happy. But don't use poor excuses because there has been and always will be millions of parents who have raised an unexpected child in good conditions, despite the socio economic circumstances.
    Offline

    10
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by alexp98)
    Point in trying to make is it's fine if she doesn't want it and aborting would make her happy. But don't use poor excuses because there has been and always will be millions of parents who have raised an unexpected child in good conditions, despite the socio economic circumstances.
    The statistics matter because there are many MORE billions of parents who have raised an unexpected child in terrible and subpar conditions mostly because of their poor socio-economic circumstances. The minority doesn't change the facts about what happens to the majority.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by alexp98)
    Not the point, have to think about it morally, how incredible that baby could have been, could have been the next Queen for all we know.
    There's no morals involved here. It's not a baby yet. By your logic, i should be crying each time i fap and kill millions of potential Kings and Queens.

    OP I'd just have the abortion and get it over with. The longer you wait, the harder it is it do. At least go to a clinic and book an appointment
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello. I am an 18 years old female. I found out that I was pregnant today and I'm under a month in. During the time I was with my ex and on the day that we did decide not to use a condom (very stupidly), I took a morning after pill so I thought I was safe but in the past week or so I've been getting symptoms and a lack of period that made me go to the clinic today.

    I've decided that I want an abortion because of how many cons there are to pros. I know my parents would not be supportive at all, I'm not financially stable, I literally JUST got my education and my career back on track (Finally found something that I'm passionate about and have a placement secured and the next 5 years planned incl uni) AND my ex does not even want a relationship with me let alone a baby so I would feel like I'm forcing him into a situation he doesn't want to be in and I wouldn't want that feeling for the next who knows years WITH a child. I also want to make sure my child grows up in a loving environment with lots of stability and happiness and I don't think I can provide that right now.

    On the other hand I just have these strong maternal instincts that I just can't shake and my heart keeps telling me to keep it. How do I deal with this emotional side of things whilst getting an abortion?
    If he won't use a condom, don't have sex with him. It's the most effective way of preventing unwanted pregnancy and if he's unwilling then don't do it!

    But you said he's your ex now? What happened there, was it to do with the pregnancy?
    If s, he's a jackass! Well he is anyway tbh.


    But if you want the baby, have an abortion! You're only 18, go out and enjoy life and do what you want to do. Then maybe settle down with a nice guy and determine if you want a kid then.

    But obviously it's your choice as to what you do.
    I'd say, have an abortion and focus on your education as it seems like you're doing really well! Don't ruin this with an unwanted kid with a jackass ex guy friend!

    Hope this helps.
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by alexp98)
    Not the point, have to think about it morally, how incredible that baby could have been, could have been the next Queen for all we know.
    Could have been the next Hitler for all we know.
    • #2
    #2

    A very hard decision but I've gone through similar but as the BF not the GF (we deiced that we didn't want the child as we were too young and weren't stable enough financially or maturity wise to raise a child (I say we I didn't put any pressure on her to make a choice and told her I would support WHATEVER choice was made and in the end on refection it was the right choice.)

    this is of course your choice and any choice you make will be difficult but you are young and you have the rest of your life before you.

    You're right to say that if the BF doesn't want a relationship having a child with him would be disastrous with regret and anger being a major part of any future relationship you two have which for any child born as a rest would be horrible

    All I can say is you do need someone to talk to openly and freely about your feelings so a very close friend or family member (but one who won;t judge you) or even someone impartial would help you immensely

    Good luck what ever you decide but do remember this is YOUR choice and YOUR choice alone.
    Online

    14
    ReputationRep:
    You should not abort the baby. You are not a murderrer. Your potential baby wants all the opportunities that you want in life and he is equally entitled to them. You have no right to strip someone else of the right to live. You will never forgive yourself. If you kill your own baby, then what is left to kill?
    I have nothing against adoption by the way. You might want to give that some thought.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    hard decision, but don't pretend you're doing what's right for the baby, when in fact what you're doing what's is right for you.

    imagine you were a baby growing inside a womb, and someone gave you two options

    1) be born into a life where mum is on the doll [or has few resources] therefore you are somewhat worst off than most kids

    2) be killed by a poison pill over two days, and die



    Guaranteed almost everyone here would pick the first option.

    best option for the baby, would be to have the baby and get it adopted straight after birth. The baby would go onto live a better life than you can give it, and more importantly he would get to LIVE
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know I'm getting the abortion but how am I going to deal with it emotionally? :sad: I feel like I'm giving up a potential life... its DNA has already been figured out and its sex has already been determined
    The sex was already determined before you even knew you were pregnant..
    You're thinking too much into it. Just go ahead with it because the longer you wait, the harder it becomes
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ANM775)
    hard decision, but don't pretend you're doing what's right for the baby, when in fact what you're doing what's is right for you.

    imagine you were a baby growing inside a womb, and someone gave you two options

    1) be born into a life where mum is on the doll [or has few resources] therefore you are somewhat worst off than most kids

    2) be killed by a poison pill over two days, and die



    Guaranteed almost everyone here would pick the first option.

    best option for the baby, would be to have the baby and get it adopted straight after birth. The baby would go onto live a better life than you can give it, and more importantly he would get to LIVE
    Who are you to scare someone into continuing their pregnancy? It's easy for you to type this nonsense but it's HER life that will ultimately change dramatically if she keeps the baby, not yours.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TrotskyiteRebel)
    You should not abort the baby. You are not a murderrer. Your potential baby wants all the opportunities that you want in life and he is equally entitled to them. You have no right to strip someone else of the right to live. You will never forgive yourself. If you kill your own baby, then what is left to kill?
    I have nothing against adoption by the way. You might want to give that some thought.
    Having an abortion doesn't make you a murderer. You have no right to tell someone what they should do with their body
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by cherryred90s)
    Who are you to scare someone into continuing their pregnancy? It's easy for you to type this nonsense but it's HER life that will ultimately change dramatically if she keeps the baby, not yours.

    I did not type nonsense, I typed the TRUTH

    but the truth hurts.

    people like to convince themselves they are putting the baby's interest first when having an abortion but in the vast majority cases it is their interests they are putting first. My post just highlighted that in a crystal clear fashion.
    Online

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by alexp98)
    I was wandering when an anti-lifer would attempt justifying it.

    'Statistically speaking' lol, don't use statistics and speak yourself because you can't numerise an opinion. And yeah that's fine if she doesn't want the baby, but all I'm saying is don't use *****y excuses like 'ohh it's not financially possible or 'I wouldn't be able to prove the baby a good life' because that's complete ********. When you want to do something you can easily go out of your way to do it no amtter how difficult and seek help.

    Point in trying to make is it's fine if she doesn't want it and aborting would make her happy. But don't use poor excuses because there has been and always will be millions of parents who have raised an unexpected child in good conditions, despite the socio economic circumstances.
    Actually, you can numerise it pretty well. Since that 'numerising' is done on the basis of the standard of living faced by the child, it's perfectly just and moral imo to delay a pregnancy based on the standard of living you are able to offer your son/daughter.

    I wonder how many of the parents who have to "give birth in unfortunate socio economic circumstances" were aware of abortion/contraception, were legally permitted to go through the process, and were not thinking about their own benefit when deciding to go ahead with the pregnancy (it's common for families in agrarian economies to want another set of hands to help round the farm despite the initial cost of feeding/clothing/housing the baby).

    As for the "putting yourself first" bit, well, no one's denying that the OP is putting her own life and studies before that of an unborn fetus. It's not as if she's callously disregarding its life entirely, if you read what she posted.
    • #3
    #3

    I'm sorry you have to read some of the comments on here calling you a murderer and amoral. Asking this sort of question on the Internet tends to give you this sort of response! :console:

    I personally never want children and I have been told by a lot of people that I'm being selfish and it's amoral. These people also tend to be the people calling people who want abortions amoral and horrible people. I think it's because these people really want and love children so they can't understand people who don't. My mother wasn't the most loving person in the world. She looked after me and was never mean, but I could tell she just didn't really like children. In my situation I wish my mum had just had an abortion, it's an awful feeling to know other parents love their children more than your parent loves you and you wonder what you did wrong.

    If you don't think you can love and care for the child 100% without ever being resentful about what you missed because you had the child I think you are making the right choice. You can always have another child when you are ready to provide for it and love it. Please don't let the mean comments on here get to you! Make the choice that is best for you, it will be the best for the child as well.

    I agree with other people on here that you should talk to a close friend or family member about it. I'm sure you're feeling very scared and upset at the moment so talking about it can help. If you would prefer to talk to a stranger I'm sure there are support groups as well.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: September 16, 2016
Poll
Do you agree with the PM's proposal to cut tuition fees for some courses?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.