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    (Original post by DancinBallerina;[url="tel:62831267")
    62831267[/url]]. . .I turn 30 in 2 wks, and I am YET to have a proper relationship. I have been on dates, had FwB situations, but all the guys I date never ever want to progress anything. I have tried online, blind dates, bars, people in the work place, friends of friends, but nothing works.

    I don't dress provocatively, I believe I am a fun, bubbly, friendly person with a good personality, woman with career in progression, I'm independent, have my own property. So I don't get where I am going wrong. People tell me someone somewhere will sweep you off your feet . . they've been saying that for the past 10 years, and I am still no further forward.

    So ladies I want to know what is the 'nack' to getting a bf / relationship?
    Irrelevant but welcome back I haven't seen you on the forum for a while
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    (Original post by DancinBallerina)
    have my own property.
    sorry to derail a bit here, but quite impressed by this at your age. How did you manage that?
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    (Original post by DancinBallerina)
    The single life has been great; I have no one to answer to, I can buy my 'Red Soles', I have no screaming brats in my ears, and I can walk around my property naked, without a care in the world. HOWEVER . .you start to get sick of that life, and wish for something a bit more. I am not looking to get settled, i.e. get married tomorrow, and have kids in the next few months, that's not what I want @ the mo. Having someone who I can go on dates with, enjoy spending time with, have holidays together and etc . .THAT'S what I'd like.

    I think I am asking for too much, but really I'm not.
    It sounds like you're just a little lonely right now. You're clearly feeling down. There's nothing wrong with wanting someone to be with or wanting to be desired. Everyone does, and birthdays are stressful at the best of times. 30 is a milestone.


    But you aren't alone and 30 isn't the end of the world. Even 40 wouldn't be or 50. I've known lots of people who found their soulmates later in life and 30 is not later.

    If finding a significant other is honestly a priority, you can have it, but it has to be your decision.

    If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten. We don't know you, though, and more specific help than that, we can't give you.
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    (Original post by DancinBallerina)
    The single life has been great; I have no one to answer to, I can buy my 'Red Soles', I have no screaming brats in my ears, and I can walk around my property naked, without a care in the world. HOWEVER . .you start to get sick of that life, and wish for something a bit more. I am not looking to get settled, i.e. get married tomorrow, and have kids in the next few months, that's not what I want @ the mo. Having someone who I can go on dates with, enjoy spending time with, have holidays together and etc . .THAT'S what I'd like.

    I think I am asking for too much, but really I'm not.
    I understand.

    But by the time you get to 30 it gets hard to make the sacrifices to your freedom that you have to endure to be part of a "couple." A serious, relationship.

    If you haven't already done so by now it is pretty likely that you never will. You expect too much, no-one can ever meet your expectations.

    There is nothing wrong with that!

    What I am saying is that it is your choice. It is all within your own gift to shape your life as your wish it to be. With a life partner or not.
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    (Original post by DancinBallerina)
    LoL It made me smile, so you're forgiven.

    Maybe when I hit the 30s, things may start to improve, and men start to actual looking for substance.

    I'm not fussy / picky . .I just know what I look for in a guy. I'm not the type of girl to have anything for the sheer fact of having a guy. A nice guy who is friendly, treats women properly, is all I want. Really don't think I am asking for much :dontknow:.

    No. That is definitely not asking for much.

    I'm surprised you couldn't find one with these basic qualities. Women in their 50s + tend to complain about the lack of half-decent men.

    I guess not all guys are like me. :ahee:


    What else?

    Hang out in coffee shops.

    Hobbies.

    Tinder or Bumble.
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    (Original post by Indieboohoo1)
    Irrelevant but welcome back I haven't seen you on the forum for a while
    :waves: Hello . .been a bit busy with life and etc. I have sometimes been reading threads from afar though

    (Original post by Satanas)
    sorry to derail a bit here, but quite impressed by this at your age. How did you manage that?
    Through hard hard work, working my arse off, owning several jobs and saving hard!

    (Original post by ThatOldGuy)
    It sounds like you're just a little lonely right now. You're clearly feeling down. There's nothing wrong with wanting someone to be with or wanting to be desired. Everyone does, and birthdays are stressful at the best of times. 30 is a milestone.


    But you aren't alone and 30 isn't the end of the world. Even 40 wouldn't be or 50. I've known lots of people who found their soulmates later in life and 30 is not later.

    If finding a significant other is honestly a priority, you can have it, but it has to be your decision.

    If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten. We don't know you, though, and more specific help than that, we can't give you.
    Not lonely, just fed up more than anything. It's the when you think you've found a gem, all goes well . . and then **** hits the fan! It's just a repetitive cycle, which gets boring time and time again. The past few occasions I've not even been looking as they say these things least happen when you least expect it. So when someone shows interest, I think Ooo yes this may be the one, but then POOF!
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    (Original post by stefano865)
    No. That is definitely not asking for much.

    I'm surprised you couldn't find one with these basic qualities. Women in their 50s + tend to complain about the lack of half-decent men.

    I guess not all guys are like me. :ahee:


    What else?

    Hang out in coffee shops.

    Hobbies.

    Tinder or Bumble.
    That's what I mean . . clearly something wrong with me :dontknow:. My list isn't long like I have seen of some girls. I've never ever had the treatment of being spoiled and etc; Valentines Day I found extremely hard, to the point I was reduced to tears. Yes I know I need to grow a pair but when people rub that in your face constantly and all you want is the same, is hard.

    Coffee shops and Tinder, I've tried. Hobbies, I dance, although that's predominately females. :dontknow: I work with a mix of people however the majority are in their 40s so married, with kids. There are no men of my age there.

    So I don't know . .I really don't! :dontknow:
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    (Original post by DancinBallerina)
    That's what I mean . . clearly something wrong with me :dontknow:. My list isn't long like I have seen of some girls. I've never ever had the treatment of being spoiled and etc; Valentines Day I found extremely hard, to the point I was reduced to tears. Yes I know I need to grow a pair but when people rub that in your face constantly and all you want is the same, is hard.

    Coffee shops and Tinder, I've tried. Hobbies, I dance, although that's predominately females. :dontknow: I work with a mix of people however the majority are in their 40s so married, with kids. There are no men of my age there.

    So I don't know . .I really don't! :dontknow:

    :hugs::hugs::hugs:


    Yes. People can be very thoughtless.

    Do you mind me asking (roughly) where you live?

    Many eligible men your age will probably be working in cities.
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    (Original post by stefano865)
    :hugs::hugs::hugs:


    Yes. People can be very thoughtless.

    Do you mind me asking (roughly) where you live?

    Many eligible men your age will probably be working in cities.
    I live between Bristol and Birmingham! I live in the 'sticks' so usually what's around here is someone's left overs from the night before! And everyone knows everyone and their business, which is what irritates me! I'm quite a private person, so don't like disclosing my personal life to all and sundry. To find a guy on that level . .is hard as the majority like to brag about their conquests and etc.
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    (Original post by DancinBallerina)
    I live between Bristol and Birmingham! I live in the 'sticks' so usually what's around here is someone's left overs from the night before! And everyone knows everyone and their business, which is what irritates me! I'm quite a private person, so don't like disclosing my personal life to all and sundry. To find a guy on that level . .is hard as the majority like to brag about their conquests and etc.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...lly-fault.html

    http://www.vice.com/read/youre-singl...enough-men-253

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...-find-good-man
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    When I've done online dating, I've never ever lied on my profile. From the get go, you're doomed if you do that. I say exactly what I look like, and etc, no point in lying especially if you end up meeting. Dumb women! lol
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    (Original post by DancinBallerina)
    When I've done online dating, I've never ever lied on my profile. From the get go, you're doomed if you do that. I say exactly what I look like, and etc, no point in lying especially if you end up meeting. Dumb women! lol

    Would you consider a toy boy? :ahee:
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    (Original post by stefano865)
    Would you consider a toy boy? :ahee:
    Tried that! lol Didn't work. Trust me . .I've done it / tried it! lol
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    (Original post by DancinBallerina)
    Tried that! lol Didn't work. Trust me . .I've done it / tried it! lol

    What about older men.

    50+
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    (Original post by ThatOldGuy)
    Things like this are tricky. We have no way of knowing what is pushing people away without knowing more about you. However, I can say there have been issues with people I know in the past who have wanted relationships. Here are a few:

    1) Some women have standards that are simply too high - They want a very specific man who probably doesn't exist or, if they exist, they're probably already married to people who saw their potential before they became so.

    2) Some women are attractive, funny, sexy and incredibly intimidating to a lot of men. If you're brilliant, sexy, funny and attractive, many men will simply assume you'd have no interest in them. I knew one woman who fit that mold exactly. I felt bad for her, actually.

    3) Some people have an awful lot of baggage - Everyone has issues and loving another person for everything they are is part of the package deal. When they no longer have issues but a whole subscription, it's time to back away.

    4) Some people are simply aloof. They haven't mastered the art of flirting yet or spotting when someone is flirting. That's fine; Nobody is born inherently with knowledge of what makes the opposite sex tick. You might want to consider getting some help closer to home - There's no shame in it. If this is you, you learned to drive, you learned to ride a bike and you can learn how to read people.

    Those are the major things I can think of right now - There are probably a lot more, but it would be best to talk to your best girlfriend or guy friend and ask for honest opinions. Be warned - If you're the type to take offense easily, you probably will not get honest feedback and they'll just say they're confused. If they give no advice, that's a surefire suggestion that they're too scared to give honest feedback. At that point, you'll have to go elsewhere and do some real introspection.
    Number 1 is spot on
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    (Original post by Gambit92)
    30? Too old, maybe in the next life
    Wasn't too old for phoebe
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    (Original post by stefano865)
    What about older men.

    50+
    Tried the older man, twice .. didn't work! Read 'The Chase to 'Slim Shady' . .
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    (Original post by cherryred90s)
    Number 1 is spot on
    . .I was sat back and had a hard long think to myself ''Am I looking for something which simply does not exist?'' No! What I want really is not breaking the bank. I don't have a list as long as the M25 / the girls on Take Me Out. I know I am no stunner / Michelle Keegan, so can't expect to have Idris Elba / Ryan Reynolds / Channing Tatum, but I know what I want / look for in a guy.
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    (Original post by DancinBallerina)
    Tried the older man, twice .. didn't work! Read 'The Chase to 'Slim Shady' . .

    Are you sure you are not fussy?

    Some of them must have been nice.


    ...Or you could try this.

    https://thethomasprince.wordpress.co...nds-for-women/
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    (Original post by DancinBallerina)
    Oh thank you EVER so much, I am delighted you give me the go ahead
    You're going to be a pulling machine after you tweak that :cool:
 
 
 
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