Cheating prank (?)

This whole situation was quite a while ago (last summer around august) but I’m kinda deepening it now. I’ve already gotten told by a few friends that what my bf did was out of hand, but I still wonder if I made a mistake by letting him off so easily.
I’ll try and make this as short as possible. I was in Vietnam last year, and my bf stayed in the UK. At that time we were pretty early on in the relationship (3 months) so doing long distance was kinda hard. It went okay and we made sure to text each other everyday, even with the large difference in the time zones. At one point however, he suddenly sent me a snap/video of him hanging out with this girl who I had no idea about. They were in some shop together and looked pretty close, so obviously I was going to question it. But all he said was “dw about it”. So I left it alone until he sent more videos of them together, and at that moment I was asking myself, “what’s the point of him sending these if he’s not gonna tell me who she is?” So with that, I asked one more time, getting worried, but he didn’t reply for over an hour. I started to get upset and overwhelmed, because I had a fear of being betrayed or left behind (he knew about this), but my brother and mum were aware of the situation and tried to comfort me. After some time my bf replied saying it was just his cousin, and they thought it’d be funny. I got so angry at the fact that they thought toying with me while me and my bf were already separated would make me laugh. I ignored him for the rest of the night but ended up reluctantly forgiving him in the morning. Am I overreacting? Or was this a red flag in my bf?

Reply 1

ageshallnot

21

Original post by Anonymous

This whole situation was quite a while ago (last summer around august) but I’m kinda deepening it now. I’ve already gotten told by a few friends that what my bf did was out of hand, but I still wonder if I made a mistake by letting him off so easily.
I’ll try and make this as short as possible. I was in Vietnam last year, and my bf stayed in the UK. At that time we were pretty early on in the relationship (3 months) so doing long distance was kinda hard. It went okay and we made sure to text each other everyday, even with the large difference in the time zones. At one point however, he suddenly sent me a snap/video of him hanging out with this girl who I had no idea about. They were in some shop together and looked pretty close, so obviously I was going to question it. But all he said was “dw about it”. So I left it alone until he sent more videos of them together, and at that moment I was asking myself, “what’s the point of him sending these if he’s not gonna tell me who she is?” So with that, I asked one more time, getting worried, but he didn’t reply for over an hour. I started to get upset and overwhelmed, because I had a fear of being betrayed or left behind (he knew about this), but my brother and mum were aware of the situation and tried to comfort me. After some time my bf replied saying it was just his cousin, and they thought it’d be funny. I got so angry at the fact that they thought toying with me while me and my bf were already separated would make me laugh. I ignored him for the rest of the night but ended up reluctantly forgiving him in the morning. Am I overreacting? Or was this a red flag in my bf?

That's a very cruel prank, if that's what it was.

Reply 2

Admit-One

Universities Forum Helper

21

Yeah, that's pretty unpleasant tbh.

Big red flag

Just dump them, you need to ask why they wanted to make you feel like that and what pleasure they took in it.

That's the sort of 'joke' you can maybe make in person with someone you genuinely know as you can confidently diffuse it before it goes too far, but you can't do that in a LDR, your partner will just sit and stew in misery and insecurity over it - and if you cared about then you wouldn't find that funny.

Reply 5

username5955039

21

Original post by Anonymous

This whole situation was quite a while ago (last summer around august) but I’m kinda deepening it now. I’ve already gotten told by a few friends that what my bf did was out of hand, but I still wonder if I made a mistake by letting him off so easily.
I’ll try and make this as short as possible. I was in Vietnam last year, and my bf stayed in the UK. At that time we were pretty early on in the relationship (3 months) so doing long distance was kinda hard. It went okay and we made sure to text each other everyday, even with the large difference in the time zones. At one point however, he suddenly sent me a snap/video of him hanging out with this girl who I had no idea about. They were in some shop together and looked pretty close, so obviously I was going to question it. But all he said was “dw about it”. So I left it alone until he sent more videos of them together, and at that moment I was asking myself, “what’s the point of him sending these if he’s not gonna tell me who she is?” So with that, I asked one more time, getting worried, but he didn’t reply for over an hour. I started to get upset and overwhelmed, because I had a fear of being betrayed or left behind (he knew about this), but my brother and mum were aware of the situation and tried to comfort me. After some time my bf replied saying it was just his cousin, and they thought it’d be funny. I got so angry at the fact that they thought toying with me while me and my bf were already separated would make me laugh. I ignored him for the rest of the night but ended up reluctantly forgiving him in the morning. Am I overreacting? Or was this a red flag in my bf?