The Student Room Group

How important does money become for guys post 21?

We all know the generalisations, men with money and power are attractive and stand out above the rest. Even though they are generalisations though, it doesn't mean they are incorrect.

I know as a fact that as men get older it becomes easier for them to get the women they want as they understand their lives more and achieve more. Those of us who were not blessed with the height and good looks, maybe this can set us up for life?

Sounds gay, but i believe that it is unfair that in the teen years looks are the main decider for popularity and the women men can get. I say this because social circles rely on these distinguishing points to an extent (there are exceptions of course) to operate. Also, in clubs its really only the very alpha male types that get any luck in my experience (around 5-10% of men in clubs). This leaves us guys with very few opportunities to find the women we like ages 16-21 (the ones who we find attractive) successfully without something very good going for us (be it, we may be musicians, popular guys, successful sportsmen etc).

I personally advocate an approach when wanting to meet new women. That is, actually going out to social clubs etc and telling women upfront that you are attracted to them. Be charming, be confident and success will come. That said, i do not find directly talking to women on the street (no i am not a pua type, i just tell them i am attracted to them and would like to talk some more at a later date) more creepy than say groping them in a drunken manner in which a lot of guys do.



Would love input, i'm still young, 19, and want to know how much this part of life changes as i get older.

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Your not going to believe me here but what I'm going to tell you is the ultimate truth and it will probably enhance any guys life.

Men think to increase their value, they need to get the job, get the money, and everything works out. = social conditioning and a false value system.

If you go to work and make money, your problems with women will get solved.

“I’m busy studying right now to become a doctor, and don’t have time to meet women, but I will when I have money.”

This is one of the most common limiting beliefs of men in our society. It seems so obvious…right? You have a rich friend or see some rich guy on television that gets all the women! Of course, he has money…WRONG! Guys with money may appear to have success, but the money is not the contributor to their success. Sure, some women will love men with money (Read: gold diggers), but having money does not make you attractive to women.

What happens when the doctor who never learned to become a more attractive man is gone for the weekend at a conference? ... You got it in one, his little sweetheart, goes the clubs with her friends and hooks up with some guy who knows how to attract her. Guys hook up with girls behind buildings and in the bathroom all the time. These girls will marry doctors and lawyer losers who thought making money is the solution to their problems. Do you think her behavior is going to change? No, people’s behavior is consistent.

If you haven’t figured out how to meet a woman’s emotional needs, how are you going to keep a relationship.

**Before every pre-med or pre-law student starts freaking out, realize that I am using these as examples. Not every doctor and lawyer is a loser haha.

Lets say you do have the money and the looks. You might get the girl, but then you will lose her because you don’t know how keep her. All of your confidence is based on external pillars. What happens when your company fails? What happens when you suffer an injury in the gym and lose all of your muscle mass?

If you believe in the superficial value system (I let society dictate to me what is valuable), when you approach an extremely attractive girl, you will feel like you are walking up with an empty cup.

The social conditioning game is rigged against you - it doesn’t matter what you do. You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your khakis.

Here is a scenario…you have great skills with women…wouldn’t money be a nice bonus? -- HELL NO!

You make money for YOURSELF - living in financial abundance is for you. You make money for YOUR FAMILY - being able to take care of your family. Honestly, if you don’t have any money, the one thing you can do is meet women! It is a constant in your life!

Money doesn’t do $H!T!

PS. Looks dont matter either.
Reply 2
Money Is Everything
Money if used or gained for the wrong reasons, can skew your life up or thinking.

Yes women do want a guy who is not a lazy bastard, can pay his bills and lets be honest, you need cash to buy stuff that YOU want.

Clothes, watches, aerosols, shaving cream, dentistry stuff, your OWN place, your OWN car, the list is quite possibly as big as your imagination.
Reply 4
Different Cloud
Your not going to believe me here but what I'm going to tell you is the ultimate truth and it will probably enhance any guys life.

Men think to increase their value, they need to get the job, get the money, and everything works out. = social conditioning and a false value system.

If you go to work and make money, your problems with women will get solved.

“I’m busy studying right now to become a doctor, and don’t have time to meet women, but I will when I have money.”

This is one of the most common limiting beliefs of men in our society. It seems so obvious…right? You have a rich friend or see some rich guy on television that gets all the women! Of course, he has money…WRONG! Guys with money may appear to have success, but the money is not the contributor to their success. Sure, some women will love men with money (Read: gold diggers), but having money does not make you attractive to women.

What happens when the doctor who never learned to become a more attractive man is gone for the weekend at a conference? ... You got it in one, his little sweetheart, goes the clubs with her friends and hooks up with some guy who knows how to attract her. Guys hook up with girls behind buildings and in the bathroom all the time. These girls will marry doctors and lawyer losers who thought making money is the solution to their problems. Do you think her behavior is going to change? No, people’s behavior is consistent.

If you haven’t figured out how to meet a woman’s emotional needs, how are you going to keep a relationship.

**Before every pre-med or pre-law student starts freaking out, realize that I am using these as examples. Not every doctor and lawyer is a loser haha.

Lets say you do have the money and the looks. You might get the girl, but then you will lose her because you don’t know how keep her. All of your confidence is based on external pillars. What happens when your company fails? What happens when you suffer an injury in the gym and lose all of your muscle mass?

If you believe in the superficial value system (I let society dictate to me what is valuable), when you approach an extremely attractive girl, you will feel like you are walking up with an empty cup.

The social conditioning game is rigged against you - it doesn’t matter what you do. You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your khakis.

Here is a scenario…you have great skills with women…wouldn’t money be a nice bonus? -- HELL NO!

You make money for YOURSELF - living in financial abundance is for you. You make money for YOUR FAMILY - being able to take care of your family. Honestly, if you don’t have any money, the one thing you can do is meet women! It is a constant in your life!

Money doesn’t do $H!T!

PS. Looks dont matter either.


I think you've just destroyed the hopes and dreams of every 16-21 year old male on TSR. Well done :biggrin:
Reply 5
i like rolling in my money so its been imprtant for a long time
chap54
I think you've just destroyed the hopes and dreams of every 16-21 year old male on TSR. Well done :biggrin:


Especially Law and Med students..... But a large reality check for many people is in order these days.

I'll need to have a think to target the female 16-21 group now.
Reply 7
**** money and **** women that's my mantra
i only want money so that i can drink more champagne
Reply 8
To OP, I wouldn't be so worried about attracting women. Girls are no different than boys, infact I find most women inferior (que feminists). Not for the reasons most will suspect :eek: but because just like boys they can be shallow, self interested, boring, space wasters. Like different cloud said, its important to find out what you value in others rather than relying on society to decide what holds value.
Different Cloud
Your not going to believe me here but what I'm going to tell you is the ultimate truth and it will probably enhance any guys life.

Men think to increase their value, they need to get the job, get the money, and everything works out. = social conditioning and a false value system.

If you go to work and make money, your problems with women will get solved.

“I’m busy studying right now to become a doctor, and don’t have time to meet women, but I will when I have money.”

This is one of the most common limiting beliefs of men in our society. It seems so obvious…right? You have a rich friend or see some rich guy on television that gets all the women! Of course, he has money…WRONG! Guys with money may appear to have success, but the money is not the contributor to their success. Sure, some women will love men with money (Read: gold diggers), but having money does not make you attractive to women.

What happens when the doctor who never learned to become a more attractive man is gone for the weekend at a conference? ... You got it in one, his little sweetheart, goes the clubs with her friends and hooks up with some guy who knows how to attract her. Guys hook up with girls behind buildings and in the bathroom all the time. These girls will marry doctors and lawyer losers who thought making money is the solution to their problems. Do you think her behavior is going to change? No, people’s behavior is consistent.

If you haven’t figured out how to meet a woman’s emotional needs, how are you going to keep a relationship.

**Before every pre-med or pre-law student starts freaking out, realize that I am using these as examples. Not every doctor and lawyer is a loser haha.

Lets say you do have the money and the looks. You might get the girl, but then you will lose her because you don’t know how keep her. All of your confidence is based on external pillars. What happens when your company fails? What happens when you suffer an injury in the gym and lose all of your muscle mass?

If you believe in the superficial value system (I let society dictate to me what is valuable), when you approach an extremely attractive girl, you will feel like you are walking up with an empty cup.

The social conditioning game is rigged against you - it doesn’t matter what you do. You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your khakis.

Here is a scenario…you have great skills with women…wouldn’t money be a nice bonus? -- HELL NO!

You make money for YOURSELF - living in financial abundance is for you. You make money for YOUR FAMILY - being able to take care of your family. Honestly, if you don’t have any money, the one thing you can do is meet women! It is a constant in your life!

Money doesn’t do $H!T!

PS. Looks dont matter either.


Finally someone who speaks truths. You should talk to my brother
Reply 10
munn
**** money and **** women that's my mantra
i only want money so that i can drink more champagne


If this were facebook I would 'like' this.
However, if you do not need to worry about money, you will have less stress. Also, even if the man thinks that women want men with money, he will be more confident. Which is something that women go after.

Not only this, if the man has money, he probably has a good personality/charm to work his way up the business. He could then apply these traits to getting women.
Reply 12
Money isn't going to solve your problem if you suck with women. You'll attract gold-diggers sure. But being a rich minger is really going to attract a small subset of women.
Reply 13
chap54
I think you've just destroyed the hopes and dreams of every 16-21 year old male on TSR. Well done :biggrin:


not every.

also don't agree with what the guy said. Studies were made, results show the opposite.
Tefhel
Money isn't going to solve your problem if you suck with women. You'll attract gold-diggers sure. But being a rich minger is really going to attract a small subset of women.


If a guy is seriously wealthy just about every girl will drop to her knees for him.

If there's enough on the table, nearly all girls will go for it so effectively they're all gold-diggers.
Reply 15
I find it baffling when men go, "oh boo hoo, I am not attractive and have no interesting talents but all the really hot girls don't love me. What bitches. That's totally unfair." Oh really? Are you queuing up to date the women you don't find attractive or interesting?
Generally important, but it depends on the female.
ito725
not every.

also don't agree with what the guy said. Studies were made, results show the opposite.


Which parts don't you agree with?

The only reason you or anyone will disagree with what I said is because I'm messing up with your their entire system, your beliefs and your not willing to accept it.

It is normal to want to have friends, to want women in your life, and to be liked - these are healthy, natural drives. It isn’t a bad thing, we want a healthy economy, but you need to understand what is going on so you aren’t being lead around like a dog on a leash.

Society has evolved to maintain social order. It is designed to give you a set of achievable goals that you can meet:

* First go to school, then uni, then get a job, then set up a retirement fund, then retire when you are 60 - successful life.

Society gives you endless stimulation - a magic pill for everything, the answer for all your problems. The magic pill isn’t expected, it is demanded! In our society, the supply will always meet the demand. You can be the spoke in the wheel, and if you believe in the system everything will be fine. This is the way our society has evolved - no one is responsible for it.

When a situation arises and there is no solution to the problem, people are outraged. When they don’t get what they want, it is messing with their entire system. People don’t want to look at the multi-dimensions of the way the world works.

A douche walks around with a gap in his self esteem. When he finds a woman, he fills that gap. He feels what a centered guy calls “normal.” It is a taste of validation. The guy thinks he is in love with the other person because he now has that good feeling in his body - codependence. BUT that good feeling is something you should self-generate. You should always feel that in you.

Everyone has experienced this. Have you ever noticed how you feel “good” when you get a new haircut and wear your new shirt and shoes? Has it ever occurred to you that you should feel that way all the time?

In relation with relationship and love. When you love somebody, that personal connection you create can absolutely fuel that great feeling in your body, but when you lose that person from your life, that good feeling should not go away. Obviously, it is ok to feel loss, but beyond that we are going into unhealthy land.

A lot of guys use a woman as a form of situational confidence. When the woman is taken away from them, they feel lost.

When you meet a girl and she sees you as an abundance minded guy - the cool, non outcome dependent, non reaction seeking, completely unattached to any kind of result - you are attractive.

When you feel those good emotions, you feel attached to the girl. Then, you start to chode yourself out because you become attached to the outcome…and then she leaves to go to the bathroom and you feel a pang of loss. Maybe you see her talking to some other guy - do you man up, grab her, and pull her back? NO! You feel your state dropping. This doesn’t mean don’t fall in love, the point is you need to be a man of standards. You can have a great connection with a girl and enjoy the emotions, but you cannot be losing state if attraction fizzles out.

Love is something you experience in yourself. It is something you experience walking down the street, talking to your friend, and looking at the sky. You don't get it from having money.

Social conditioning retarded and our society is phucked up.... Many you should re-watch the matrix and take the red pill this time round and unplug yourself.
Reply 18
Different Cloud
Which parts don't you agree with?

The only reason you or anyone will disagree with what I said is because I'm messing up with your their entire system, your beliefs and your not willing to accept it.

It is normal to want to have friends, to want women in your life, and to be liked - these are healthy, natural drives. It isn’t a bad thing, we want a healthy economy, but you need to understand what is going on so you aren’t being lead around like a dog on a leash.

Society has evolved to maintain social order. It is designed to give you a set of achievable goals that you can meet:

* First go to school, then uni, then get a job, then set up a retirement fund, then retire when you are 60 - successful life.

Society gives you endless stimulation - a magic pill for everything, the answer for all your problems. The magic pill isn’t expected, it is demanded! In our society, the supply will always meet the demand. You can be the spoke in the wheel, and if you believe in the system everything will be fine. This is the way our society has evolved - no one is responsible for it.

When a situation arises and there is no solution to the problem, people are outraged. When they don’t get what they want, it is messing with their entire system. People don’t want to look at the multi-dimensions of the way the world works.

A douche walks around with a gap in his self esteem. When he finds a woman, he fills that gap. He feels what a centered guy calls “normal.” It is a taste of validation. The guy thinks he is in love with the other person because he now has that good feeling in his body - codependence. BUT that good feeling is something you should self-generate. You should always feel that in you.

Everyone has experienced this. Have you ever noticed how you feel “good” when you get a new haircut and wear your new shirt and shoes? Has it ever occurred to you that you should feel that way all the time?

In relation with relationship and love. When you love somebody, that personal connection you create can absolutely fuel that great feeling in your body, but when you lose that person from your life, that good feeling should not go away. Obviously, it is ok to feel loss, but beyond that we are going into unhealthy land.

A lot of guys use a woman as a form of situational confidence. When the woman is taken away from them, they feel lost.

When you meet a girl and she sees you as an abundance minded guy - the cool, non outcome dependent, non reaction seeking, completely unattached to any kind of result - you are attractive.

When you feel those good emotions, you feel attached to the girl. Then, you start to chode yourself out because you become attached to the outcome…and then she leaves to go to the bathroom and you feel a pang of loss. Maybe you see her talking to some other guy - do you man up, grab her, and pull her back? NO! You feel your state dropping. This doesn’t mean don’t fall in love, the point is you need to be a man of standards. You can have a great connection with a girl and enjoy the emotions, but you cannot be losing state if attraction fizzles out.

Love is something you experience in yourself. It is something you experience walking down the street, talking to your friend, and looking at the sky. You don't get it from having money.

Social conditioning retarded and our society is phucked up.... Many you should re-watch the matrix and take the red pill this time round and unplug yourself.


I agree Chuck Palahnhuick is a great writer, but the amount of assumptions and generalisations you throw around are nothing short of ridiculous.
Reply 19
Different Cloud

Everyone has experienced this. Have you ever noticed how you feel “good” when you get a new haircut


nah man they **** up my hair every time. I say "don't do that and don't do that but do this and do this" and they do that and do that but don't do this or do this and man it really grinds my gears how difficult is it to understand what i'm asking?

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