"I'm sorry"

How many people here in a relationship find themselves saying sorry too much?

I find many couples have a row, and one person is definitely quicker to say sorry - only to find them kicking themselves about it when they realise it should be the other person who needs to say it.

Personally, I'm the one who always says sorry, and it's starting to drive me insane. I've given in too many times and I feel like I need to be more stubborn. However being in an LDR during term time, I find it very hard as I just want things resolved and for things to go on as normal.

:s-smilie:

Reply 1

Sakura-Chan

Nah, I'm the total opposite to be honest. I'm in a LDR as well, and my boyfriend is always the first to apologise if we've had a falling out (always something really silly.) Sometimes it's incredibly annoying, and I wish he'd just stay in a mood or stand up for himself more often and tell me that I've been a bitch/that I'm in the wrong.

Just bite your tongue and don't say it? Whenever anything else comes up where you'd usually say sorry, just keep thinking to yourself ''I actually haven't done anything wrong, so there's no way I'm apologising.''

Reply 2

Cape_Booth

Not really. I have never been that apologetic, partly because I'm stubborn and partly because I haven't really been in the wrong that many times to the point where I have felt the need to apologise profusely.

Reply 3

boba

its always my boyfriend. it pisses me off. don't just say sorry stand your ground!

Reply 4

Imperatore

Well I have very strict principles and always (and only) apologise IF I'm genuinely in the wrong. I won't apologise just because the argument is going on for too long and she's being too stubborn to apologise even though she's clearly wrong. It is tempting to go for the short route and just say sorry but that's wrong and it also doesn't help the relationship because the other half will just continue thinking they're not the ones to blame so will do it again.

It's important to make the other realise their mistakes, helps them become a better person.

If I was with a girl who didn't say sorry when she's wrong I would be so repulsed by that quality and probably end up breaking up with her. Can't stand the type of people who think saying sorry is immediately making them 'inferior' and position of weakness, means they lack the integrity and backbone to stand up for their actions...not an attractive quality at all.

Reply 5

moshing-fairy

My recent ex decided to end our ldr because he couldn't stand up to me and always backed down instead of talking us through.

So in this case, I'd say sometimes just let things go and apologise, but don't become a walkover- as this is what my ex seems to think I made him- and it's just made our mess of our whole 3 n half year r-ship.

talk stuff through :smile:

Reply 6

natashapt

I used to be quite weak and apologise for everything even if stuff clearly wasn't my fault, I stand my ground now and if my boyfriend is in the wrong I let him know, even if he point blank refuses at first , most of the time once he;'s cooled down he realises why i'm upset and will apologise :smile:

Reply 7

ticklemeellen

I am the one who always apologises in the stupid arguments where he is totally wrong but its inconsequential, and that pisses me off when i do that. Although, annoyingly, when he is REALLY wrong and he apologises, i don't usually accept, cos i don't think its enough to just say "sorry"

Reply 8

secret_smile

I ALWAYS do this.

I absolutely hate confrontation and bad feelings between people. I always go to my boyfriend apologising then afterwards realise that it was entirely his fault for causing a row in the first place.

He's just stubbon and won't say it first.

I need to work on being more assertive...

Reply 9

grt

I have the urge to understand what's going on so even if my correct opinion is being challenged I do try to understand why someone, especially my partner, is seeing it differently. Usually, I come up with a more or less reasonable conclusion and then I do kind of apologise as I can see their/her point of view (usually, I would not accept it, although this really depends on the person. Some are almost as often right about things as I am). Hence, I'm often the one that apologises. When it comes to stronger arguments and smaller fights, I'm usually the person who apologises because whatever the reason - I don't want to see her suffer.

This can also be a problem, though. Directly or indirectly, I have been told a few times that some girls would prefer me to be a bit more resistant when it comes to disagreements but I don't really see a point (except for 'acting manly'). I always try to convince others of my opinion if they oppose it or if I'm being asked to do so but only up to a certain point. If they cannot understand my reasoning or appear to not wanting to understand it, I stop - what else could I do?

I rather have a problem with it the other way around: I'm getting annoyed when (potential) girlfriends just agree with me although they clearly have a different opinion - just for the sake of not having a disagreement. What the heck, I want a partner I can respect and not a trophy to show around...