Dad drunkenly told me I'm not his.

I'm 17 and I don't know what to do. My mum died when I was 11 so it's always just been me and my dad.

We have a normal father/daughter relationship, we argue now and again but for the most part are very close. I'm an only child so it's always just been the two of us.

Then, last weekend, whilst very drunk my dad told me that I wasn't his. Afterwards he carried on like normal. I tried to talk about it with him the next day and he apologised saying he'd said it because he was drunk.

I left it and then today said that maybe it would be a good idea if I had a DNA test, he was very overtly hurt by this, saying he'd always been there and that I was obviously his.

Now I don't know what to do/think. I know it may have been a joke or something and that he was drunk, but I can't help thinking that the truth comes out when drunk. Yet at the same time I don't want to hurt him and part of me feels as though I'd rather not know, incase I'm not his, he is all I have :frown:

What shall I do?! It's not like I can talk to my mum or speak to my siblings, because I have none.

What do you think?

I know this must be a troubling situation to be in but try to remember that there are so many people out there without any parents at all and that this man is your dad whether he is or isn't your biological father because he's been there for you.

Reply 3

nunugab

14

I smell a revival of the Jeremy Kyle show.

Reply 4

mirin?

Original post by nunugab

I smell a revival of the Jeremy Kyle show.

Preparing the nuclear option:

Reply 5

Kyalimers

21

Being a father is different from having a child. Clearly, your dad has been there for you through thick and thin and that's what matters - even if he is or is not your biological parent.

And the truth sometimes come out when you're drunk, but often, so does a lot of gibberish. I'm sure a lot of people on here will agree that things said drunk are not the same as things said sober.

If you still feel uneasy about it, try to talk about it with him over time. Tell him it's important to you and that you acknowledge his importance to your life. He may even be worried that if the truth came out (if he was not your biological father, this is), that he might end up losing you or your relationship changing. It will take time but just try to understand it from his perspective as well and talk about it.

Reply 6

Rant

3

That's a zinger. It's up there with "hey, did you know we tried to abort you?" and "you know she's not really your sister, so you can, urm, experiment with those feelings if you want to..."

Reply 7

OMFS_BoneSetter

16

Original post by Anonymous

I'm 17 and I don't know what to do. My mum died when I was 11 so it's always just been me and my dad.

We have a normal father/daughter relationship, we argue now and again but for the most part are very close. I'm an only child so it's always just been the two of us.

Then, last weekend, whilst very drunk my dad told me that I wasn't his. Afterwards he carried on like normal. I tried to talk about it with him the next day and he apologised saying he'd said it because he was drunk.

I left it and then today said that maybe it would be a good idea if I had a DNA test, he was very overtly hurt by this, saying he'd always been there and that I was obviously his.

Now I don't know what to do/think. I know it may have been a joke or something and that he was drunk, but I can't help thinking that the truth comes out when drunk. Yet at the same time I don't want to hurt him and part of me feels as though I'd rather not know, incase I'm not his, he is all I have :frown:

What shall I do?! It's not like I can talk to my mum or speak to my siblings, because I have none.

I know you probably love your father, but all I can think is "WHAT AN ARSE!!!".There are things you shouldn't utter if you don't mean it, because it can play on a person's mind, regardless of whether you are sorry or not. I think, when you have a clearer head. You need to sit him down and get him to explain. I wouldn't be angry though, as although he said that out of anger, he loves enough to have raised you, all these years.

Reply 8

Young Spade

13

You could try talking to him later on when he's not doing anything particularly important, nor is he tired after coming home from a day at work.

Pick the right time, sit down, and have a serious discussion with him about it. Tell him how it made you feel and what you would like to know.

Dad drunkenly told me I'm not his.

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