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Was this molestation or was he just loving?

I have never really been that close to my dad he wasn’t the kind to give me massages when I was smaller but he always protected our family and loved us and I don’t want to think anything bad of him so please help me, this happened when I was 14 my mom and my sister were both working and I was home alone with my dad and my 2 year old sister he told me to sit on his lap bcs his legs hurt and sitting on his laps made him feel better but the think is he would grab me and move me to where exactly he wanted me to sit and it would always be directly in his you know what, I would tell him I wouldn’t want to and he would just start laughing telling me to come on and grabbing my hand I would have to grab the couch with all my force bcs of how hard he was pulling me over. Something else is that again we were home alone and he grabbed me and hugged me which was already weird enough but he hugged me from behind and he grabbed my lower belly while hugging me pulling me towards him to where I could clearly feel his yk what whenever he was hugging me he would hug me again from behind and he wouldn’t hug me from my stomach he would hug me from my boobs and he would squeeze them and just kinda rubbing his hand on my stomach. Please help. I don’t want to think he meant this in a bad way but it gives me chills just thinking abt it.
NGL,

What you've written sounds dodgy as hell. I don't want to upset you (after all, he is your dad), but these are my reasonings:-

1) I think most people would find it strange for a teenager to sit on a parents lap (I think it's fine up to the age of about 4-5 maybe?).

2) Even so, most parents would purposely put a "safe" distance between their children and their own intimate areas.

3) He waited until he was pretty much alone in the house with you (if it was innocent, why didn't he do this in front of everyone?)

4) He's not taking your concerns seriously, and continuing to insist; despite your resistance

5) Yes, it's normal for family and close friends to hug each other... but not from behind.

6)... and when most friends hug each other, they tend to lean towards, so only the top parts of their chest / torso actually make physical contact & arms tend to go round the neck and above the shoulders. there's almost always a safe distance between the groin areas (this is different to how one may hug their partner).


I'm genuinely sorry to say this, but I'm really struggling to see how he could be behaving like this for anything other than his own gratification and... (I'm trying my best not to be too graphic here)... if you felt/ noticed a physical reaction when he's doing this, it's a sure sign.

What should you do about it... It's not my place to tell you to report it to anyone (although, personally I think you should; on the grounds you also have a younger sister). Definitely, I think you should get some counselling for it (you'll be surprised how much that can help). What is your relationship with you mother and other sister like & how do they feel about your dad? Was it only these incidents or were there other (even if they're less obvious).

Whilst these incidents may well be "one-offs", the fact is that he did them and they did happen. Granted, he may be a loving father in every other sense... but fact of the matter is, if he didn't do them in the first place, then they couldn't be held against him.

I know this isn't what you want to hear (and again, I'm sorry about that), but these are my honest thoughts based on what you've written.
(edited 2 months ago)
i’m so sorry this is happening :frown: i’d defo recommend contacting childline, or your mum. if your mum doesn’t do anything maybe contact the police 💓
How old are you now?
Original post by Anonymous
I have never really been that close to my dad he wasn’t the kind to give me massages when I was smaller but he always protected our family and loved us and I don’t want to think anything bad of him so please help me, this happened when I was 14 my mom and my sister were both working and I was home alone with my dad and my 2 year old sister he told me to sit on his lap bcs his legs hurt and sitting on his laps made him feel better but the think is he would grab me and move me to where exactly he wanted me to sit and it would always be directly in his you know what, I would tell him I wouldn’t want to and he would just start laughing telling me to come on and grabbing my hand I would have to grab the couch with all my force bcs of how hard he was pulling me over. Something else is that again we were home alone and he grabbed me and hugged me which was already weird enough but he hugged me from behind and he grabbed my lower belly while hugging me pulling me towards him to where I could clearly feel his yk what whenever he was hugging me he would hug me again from behind and he wouldn’t hug me from my stomach he would hug me from my boobs and he would squeeze them and just kinda rubbing his hand on my stomach. Please help. I don’t want to think he meant this in a bad way but it gives me chills just thinking abt it.

Step Dad or Biological Dad ?. It may be he is sexually frustrated and that is coming out in totally unacceptable conduct. I would not rush to Judgment yet, just try and avoid situations and tell him straight that you don't like it.

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