So this is everytime, i get drunk or emotional he starts putting reflection of his drunk dad past onto me in a way which is not healthy for me as i have gone through some serious trauma with my dad as well.
Whenever my boyfriend is drunk he wants people to take care of him and i am always there to take care of him for the same. But when i get drunk it’s all about him comparing me with his drunk dad. It’s really getting traumatic for me as i have had my harsh childhood as well and he knows it too but still chooses to trigger on something that it starts giving me panic attacks at times. I start crying in front of him that why does he compare me with his drunk dad whereas i just don’t create a scene as such, i just get emotional while getting drunk.
When he said to me first time, i had a major breakdown on my way back home from work. Second time he said the same was on my birthday where i just wanted him to stick right by my side instead of leaving me with his friend.
I have had a rough past as well but I don’t reflect it in him or tell him that you are behaving like my drunk dad or you’re scary but why does he easily say things to me in a way as if my feelings don’t matter.
There has been times he has told me that ‘you can never be a good mother.’ It’s really heavy for me to move past these things and whenever I try discussing or tell him what has hurt me he quickly changes his statements and blame it on the place he belongs and says “the place I belong from people usually treat like this only hence I said it.” But in reality I know what he meant by calling me drunkard and acting like his drunk dad or I can’t be a mother. He tells me I am delusional and I make sentences in my own whereas i remember every bit of words and I have every chat in which he has said that to me but he always disagrees and tells me ‘you’re too sensitive.”