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Chivalry... is it dead/should it be?

Reply 20

different?

2

I HOPE it's not dead *fingers crossed*

Reply 21

xelprep

Have you forgotten he's your *ex* boyfriend? so why would he let you borrow his fleece if he won't he ripping your clothes of later on?

Reply 22

gringalet

12

Chivalry is a set of ideals mainly forwarded by medieval literature. So yup, it's fairly dead. :biggrin:

Reply 23

Wkd_Intent

It might be less common nowadays, but Trust me, its not dead.

Reply 24

charlotte m

chivalry is the loveliest thing ever....read and learn boys! (and all those lovely gentlemen who do hold doors open for girls etc....do send the private messages my way....hehe)

Reply 25

eleri

5

Hmmm, my boyfriend is chivalrous in the ways decribed above; he'd give me, or another woman his seat, he's always willing to give me his coat if I'm cold, etc. But we're in a long-term relationship; I'm not sure how comfortable I'd be accepting such gestures from someone I didn't know well.

Reply 26

burningwings

1

I like it when guys open doors for me, let me through first, offer me jackets, etc..
Only problem is it seems to be old men who do it, but when guys my age do it Im like "awwww!!!!" and it can make my day! I hold doors open for people anyway, so I dont see why other people cant... not necessarily chivalry, but good manners make me happy

Reply 27

charlotte m

^so true, I agree. X X X

Reply 28

Helenia

20

eleri

Hmmm, my boyfriend is chivalrous in the ways decribed above; he'd give me, or another woman his seat, he's always willing to give me his coat if I'm cold, etc. But we're in a long-term relationship; I'm not sure how comfortable I'd be accepting such gestures from someone I didn't know well.

Is that really chivalry or is it just politeness though? I hold doors for people if I see them coming towards it, regardless of gender.

Reply 29

Invocation

12

get your own jacket biyotch

joke

but guys hate freezin their ass off just as much as girls

Reply 30

Krysia

8

I'm all for politeness, but 'chivalry'? Why should I get special treatment just for being female? I'm pretty capable at coping. The only time I need help is when something is on a high shelf at the supermarket or something, & I can't reach. Not cause I'm a girl; because I'm short.

I think you should be polite to everyone, no matter what they are. But demanding someone's jacket does seem a bit beyond that. Maybe just invest in a sweater?

Reply 31

dyslexic_banana

1

I actually disagree with the expectation of chivalry, yet still like to exercise a little bit of it myself, at times (ironic, I know...); if I like a girl, or even if I merely consider her a good friend, then I can act chivalrously, at times (last Winter, I gave a girl my fleece, despite only having a shirt on underneath it, and her having a light coat on in the first place). However, I'd want it to be appreciated, and seen as an act of great kindness, rather than merely the fulfilling of some sort of requirement. I suppose I'm saying that I dislike the concept, in that it suggests that this is merely the fulfilling of an entitlement women have, which, to me, is as outdated as saying that women shouldn't work; if privileges are gained, privileges should also be sacrificed. But, yeah, I still can be quite chivalrous; maybe I'm just quite kind and generous, at times, and, as a heterosexual, this is an extension of this?

No offence to the 'OP', but it seems a bit selfish to expect him, as a man, to give up his coat; tantamount to saying that your own feelings are more important than his. If he had two coats and you didn't have even one, then, in his capacity as a friend (gender being irrelevant), he should, perhaps, have offered you a coat; I probably would have, regardless of gender (although, perhaps more readily to a woman, ironically). But what if it'd had been a girl you'd known? Would you have seen her to have had any less obligation to offer you her coat, than this guy did his? And, if so, please explain why.

Reply 32

high priestess fnord

9

kornkamper

but guys hate freezin their ass off just as much as girls

but guys are generally bigger and have thicker skin. i know when im freezing my male friends are usually fine and they rnt just putting it on.

gringalet

Chivalry is a set of ideals mainly forwarded by medieval literature. So yup, it's fairly dead. :biggrin:

i half heartedly tried to find a decent site on the chivalric code but it was just "kill the infedel" type stuff and "uphold the feudal system". rather than the interesting and detailed rules such as the 1 i pointed out earlier. chivalric knights were all about raping and murdering the poorer ppl while protecting those of importance (or at least apologising when u spilt some1s brains over their nice expensive armor with one of those pretty maces)

and lets face it the whole courtly love thing is a joke. just read the merchants tale. v funny book. for those who havnt read it it ends with blind pervy Janurary hugging a tree to make sure no1 climbs up to his young wife May (who is apparenty picking a pear). however May has allready sneaked her young lover up the tree and is making out with him at the top XD. i was in stitches when i read that. every1 was giving me funny looks. (sorry tangent)

Reply 33

kizer

15

To those people saying she should have had a jacket - it was a fire drill, and if you do it properly you aren't meant to pick anything up before you leave...

If he had two jackets he should have given you one out of common courtesy. Forget chivalry, if a girl had two jackets (and one would fit me!) then she should lend me one. Human empathy.

Reply 34

kizer

15

high priestess fnord

but guys are generally bigger and have thicker skin. i know when im freezing my male friends are usually fine and they rnt just putting it on.

Girls have much higher fat percentages in their body, which acts as insulation. Machoness would stop guys going on about how cold they were, not 'thicker skin'.

Reply 35

dede

11

high priestess fnord

and lets face it the whole courtly love thing is a joke. just read the merchants tale. v funny book. for those who havnt read it it ends with blind pervy Janurary hugging a tree to make sure no1 climbs up to his young wife May (who is apparenty picking a pear). however May has allready sneaked her young lover up the tree and is making out with him at the top XD. i was in stitches when i read that. every1 was giving me funny looks. (sorry tangent)

Are you talking about some sort of "adapted" version of Chaucer's The Merchant's Tale? :confused:

EDIT: Ah no, never mind, I've got it now. Sorry for any confusion.

Reply 36

eleri

5

Helenia

Is that really chivalry or is it just politeness though? I hold doors for people if I see them coming towards it, regardless of gender.

It is politeness, but I think it goes beyond that, if only because it fits the stereotypes of how men should act towards women. Chivalry is only what we perceive it to be, whereas politeness is more of a binary concept; someone's actions are generally perceived to be either polite or rude, and most people would be able to agree on which end they tended towards.

Reply 37

Angel Interceptor

11

Chivalry is not dead when I'm concerned. :smile:

Reply 38

dyslexic_banana

1

kizer

Girls have much higher fat percentages in their body, which acts as insulation. Machoness would stop guys going on about how cold they were, not 'thicker skin'.

That's what I thought, but, either way, if giving up a coat to a woman for such a reason, this could be seen to be situation-specific (i.e. not just because they're women, but because, in that situation, they'd find it easier than would a woman); kind of like giving up a seat to an old person on a bus. I've given up a seat near the front of a bus, to an old person, on numerous occasions, because I don't want them to have to hobble further to get off, thus holding me up (only joking; because I'm more capable of standing, or walking a 'distance', than they are, so it seems only right). However, it would seem strange to give up my seat to a woman, and, in fact, almost patronising; surely women can stand up, just as men can (I suppose the only exception would be a small girl with huge breasts)? The same would go for things like holding doors open (I push a door open wider than usual, if aware of someone being behind me, regardless of gender; it seeming polite, and the done thing).

Politeness and empathy should be seen to be the issues; not chivalry. Chivalry may be on its last legs, but so is the idea that women should stay at home; it works both ways.

Reply 39

high priestess fnord

9

dede

Are you talking about some sort of "adapted" version of Chaucer's The Merchant's Tale? :confused:

EDIT: Ah no, never mind, I've got it now. Sorry for any confusion.

lol studied it for english and *loved* it.

kizer

Girls have much higher fat percentages in their body, which acts as insulation. Machoness would stop guys going on about how cold they were, not 'thicker skin'.

by they rnt putting it on i ment its not machoness lol. most girls will be shivering by the time my male friends start looking a little chilled and body language does give it away even if they r trying to hide it. there again it depends on the person. my male friends are on the large side and im only ickle. i will never forget the time i went shopping with two of them and started shivering. they gave me a funny look then decided to make a sandwich of me. imagine a small 5"2 girl between to of the tallest (and widest) guys u have ever seen. was warm tho :rofl:

Chivalry... is it dead/should it be?

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