Asian girls and virginity
I am an asian girl and im wondering what others think about this. I know there is this massive double standard where its ok for guys to have sexual relationships but it isn't for girls. And that a few guys are judgemental about this. How do you feel about this? Does it limit you or do you feel it is better to wait till after marriage.
i am a virgin and in my 20s...but that's only because i havent been in a relationship where i am comfortable to lose it or that has gone past the dating phase. I think sometimes i have been avoided/dumped because of this hangup and the person has found another willing partner. This has been with an asian and white guy, so i don't think race plays a part. I guess it is understandable if sex is so important to the other person but then this strict double standard exists that i dont understand. I think I feel reluctant to be intimate with someone because i feel a lot of guys in the teens and early 20s are just after sex, as many tsr comments show, and I feel like if someone is worth it they can wait until the relationship is a committed/marriage relationship otherwise maybe they aren't worth it.
I don't think there is anything wrong with asian girls losing virginity before marriage as long as they're not coerced into it and they're fully informed.
Any thoughts on this (asians and non asians both welcome to reply)
i am a virgin and in my 20s...but that's only because i havent been in a relationship where i am comfortable to lose it or that has gone past the dating phase. I think sometimes i have been avoided/dumped because of this hangup and the person has found another willing partner. This has been with an asian and white guy, so i don't think race plays a part. I guess it is understandable if sex is so important to the other person but then this strict double standard exists that i dont understand. I think I feel reluctant to be intimate with someone because i feel a lot of guys in the teens and early 20s are just after sex, as many tsr comments show, and I feel like if someone is worth it they can wait until the relationship is a committed/marriage relationship otherwise maybe they aren't worth it.
I don't think there is anything wrong with asian girls losing virginity before marriage as long as they're not coerced into it and they're fully informed.
Any thoughts on this (asians and non asians both welcome to reply)
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I am an asian too. I am a male and I am looking forward to seeing people's replies!
Original post by Tizz
Hey I'm a half asian guy. I waited about 3/4 months for an asian girl and I put no pressure on her as I really liked her personality etc. We ended up splitting up because of exam stress and didn't have sex...but I'm just saying if the guy really likes you then he will wait 
Thanks for the reply Tizz. What is your other half? That's sad you guys split because of exams and stuff. For me it was a bit of pressure which also made me feel guilty. It's something everyone expects these days in relationships and not many people are willing to wait. i mean just look at tsr threads if someone says they havent had sex yet people ask why. im beyond the age where i need to worry about that though. the guy might be willing to wait but he'll prob resent it i think
You should find a guy who is not that closed minded and doesn't give a **** if you're a virgin before marriage or not. Those double standards are stupid and you shouldn't be with a guy who believes in them. Have sex if you feel comfortable with someone, it doesn't matter if you're married or not. We're in 2012.
Original post by Anonymous
I am an asian too. I am a male and I am looking forward to seeing people's replies!
thanks for the reply. i dont know if many girls will open up about past experiences. but the topic is open to guys so feel free to reply with your own experiences...if ure virgin or not. and if you are, did you lose it to an asian or non asian girl? :P that way we can indirectly answer this question. would you put pressure on a girl etc?
I'm asian an girl and i think you should just wait for the right guy. I've never been in a relationship, but i know I'll only want to lose it with someone i actually love, whether that happens or not, we'll see. My cousin waited til marriage but it was because it was like a culture thing, cos your not meant to have sex outside marriage blablalba..
Save yourself for a descent guy who will marry you at a later date. And if you feel strongly about losing your virginity after marraige than that's the best way to go.
Problem is most of the men who are ready to have serious relationship and settle down are over 25/30.
It's just a waiting game i guess unless you really want to get into a relationship ASAP.
Problem is most of the men who are ready to have serious relationship and settle down are over 25/30.
It's just a waiting game i guess unless you really want to get into a relationship ASAP.
From a white girl:
It's ideal to wait for someone special, yeah I get that. But the harsh reality is that the older you get, the more likely you are to build up the entire thing when (to a lot of people) it's not that big of a deal and is actually not that nice first time round.
Alls I'm saying is that prepare yourself for the negative parts about it too (especially being a girl- not going into graphic detail)
Most people I know aren't too bothered about their first time.
It's ideal to wait for someone special, yeah I get that. But the harsh reality is that the older you get, the more likely you are to build up the entire thing when (to a lot of people) it's not that big of a deal and is actually not that nice first time round.
Alls I'm saying is that prepare yourself for the negative parts about it too (especially being a girl- not going into graphic detail)
Most people I know aren't too bothered about their first time.
Hi, I'm an East Asian and where I come from there is a huge social stigma about girls and losing their virginity. That said, I have lost my virginity not so long ago to a person that I really trust and love, so it is a decision I do not regret at all. However I still hold this view that I shouldn't be having sex before marriage, which is why sometimes I have an internal conflict where I feel like my only option is to marry this guy that I am having sex with, so as to justify losing my virginity (since my virginity is supposed to be lost only to my husband and whatnot). It's not really a bad idea, but I feel like it narrows my options a lot .. It's terrible when you have to consider cultural stigma along with personal decisions. In Asia it's the community > individual, duties > rights, so I wouldn't expect many individualist Britain to really understand. And yes, this is Asia in 2012, and I don't really think it's a backward notion that much, just different.
Hi I'm a 22 year old asian girl, lost it last year to someone I fully trusted. We'd been dating for over a year I think, and he was prepared to wait for as long as it could take for me to be ready. I think the most important thing is to make sure you really love each other, care for each other, if you want your first time to be special. I wouldn't like to regret my first time...after all, there's only one first time.
I'm a 22 year old asian girl, lost it last year to someone I fully trusted. We'd been dating for over a year I think, and he was prepared to wait for as long as it could take for me to be ready. I think the most important thing is to make sure you really love each other, care for each other, if you want your first time to be special. I wouldn't like to regret my first time...after all, there's only one first time.Original post by forgetamine
You should find a guy who is not that closed minded and doesn't give a **** if you're a virgin before marriage or not. Those double standards are stupid and you shouldn't be with a guy who believes in them. Have sex if you feel comfortable with someone, it doesn't matter if you're married or not. We're in 2012.
We might be in 2012 but massive double standards still exist. And it's not just even with asian people. If you read all these threads on tsr where guys are throwing around words like "slag" for girls who have had multiple relationships but not doing the same for guys. I feel like i have lost my faith in decent guys especially on tsr they many make generalisations about all girls based on the ones they've been with. I don't think someone needs to wait for marriage to have sex but i find it hard to trust anyone enough to have sex with them. Based on my past experiences I always feel they will dump me after sex so i look for a definite committment.
Original post by Anonymous
We might be in 2012 but massive double standards still exist. And it's not just even with asian people. If you read all these threads on tsr where guys are throwing around words like "slag" for girls who have had multiple relationships but not doing the same for guys. I feel like i have lost my faith in decent guys especially on tsr they many make generalisations about all girls based on the ones they've been with. I don't think someone needs to wait for marriage to have sex but i find it hard to trust anyone enough to have sex with them. Based on my past experiences I always feel they will dump me after sex so i look for a definite committment.
Yeah I feel the same, it's ok to wait for a good committment. Just don't be with a guy who would judge you because you've had sex before marriage and stuff like that.
I'm asian, and a girl. Lost mine at 21 to my first and current and only bf 
It was something I NEVER thought I'd do... Was one of those people ready to go ahead with the arranged marriage thing after studies and job... But my bf makes me feel amazing, and I felt so comfortable and it felt so natural. (He's white, if it matters)
It was something I NEVER thought I'd do... Was one of those people ready to go ahead with the arranged marriage thing after studies and job... But my bf makes me feel amazing, and I felt so comfortable and it felt so natural. (He's white, if it matters)Hey, I'm Indian and im 16...
But my opinion on the matter is, being asian, we've got to consider the impacts on family, the views of our society and the cultural expectations of us. For example, if I was to lose it before marriage, I think my parents would just about die of the shame (they are quite strict) and if anyone in my cultural society was to find out, I would be treated like dirt and probably never be able to get married as most Indian men want a 'clean' girl.
Even I find someone I love and really trust, I would still want them to marry me before we had sex. I mean, what's the big deal? If they loved me, then wouldn't they wait and want to spend the rest of their life with me? This could be good for me because I'm in keeping with my cultural laws while being able to find someone that truly loves me :-) yaaaay!
I do disagree with you where you say men can take part in sexual activities? Because if I was to stay a virgin and marry someone, I would expect them to return the favour too and have waited.
I don't judge any Asian girl who has given it up to someone they really love- it's just a matter of personal preference haha
But my opinion on the matter is, being asian, we've got to consider the impacts on family, the views of our society and the cultural expectations of us. For example, if I was to lose it before marriage, I think my parents would just about die of the shame (they are quite strict) and if anyone in my cultural society was to find out, I would be treated like dirt and probably never be able to get married as most Indian men want a 'clean' girl.
Even I find someone I love and really trust, I would still want them to marry me before we had sex. I mean, what's the big deal? If they loved me, then wouldn't they wait and want to spend the rest of their life with me? This could be good for me because I'm in keeping with my cultural laws while being able to find someone that truly loves me :-) yaaaay!
I do disagree with you where you say men can take part in sexual activities? Because if I was to stay a virgin and marry someone, I would expect them to return the favour too and have waited.
I don't judge any Asian girl who has given it up to someone they really love- it's just a matter of personal preference haha
Original post by Priya.C
Hey, I'm Indian and im 16...
But my opinion on the matter is, being asian, we've got to consider the impacts on family, the views of our society and the cultural expectations of us. For example, if I was to lose it before marriage, I think my parents would just about die of the shame (they are quite strict) and if anyone in my cultural society was to find out, I would be treated like dirt and probably never be able to get married as most Indian men want a 'clean' girl.
Even I find someone I love and really trust, I would still want them to marry me before we had sex. I mean, what's the big deal? If they loved me, then wouldn't they wait and want to spend the rest of their life with me? This could be good for me because I'm in keeping with my cultural laws while being able to find someone that truly loves me :-) yaaaay!
I do disagree with you where you say men can take part in sexual activities? Because if I was to stay a virgin and marry someone, I would expect them to return the favour too and have waited.
I don't judge any Asian girl who has given it up to someone they really love- it's just a matter of personal preference haha
But my opinion on the matter is, being asian, we've got to consider the impacts on family, the views of our society and the cultural expectations of us. For example, if I was to lose it before marriage, I think my parents would just about die of the shame (they are quite strict) and if anyone in my cultural society was to find out, I would be treated like dirt and probably never be able to get married as most Indian men want a 'clean' girl.
Even I find someone I love and really trust, I would still want them to marry me before we had sex. I mean, what's the big deal? If they loved me, then wouldn't they wait and want to spend the rest of their life with me? This could be good for me because I'm in keeping with my cultural laws while being able to find someone that truly loves me :-) yaaaay!
I do disagree with you where you say men can take part in sexual activities? Because if I was to stay a virgin and marry someone, I would expect them to return the favour too and have waited.
I don't judge any Asian girl who has given it up to someone they really love- it's just a matter of personal preference haha
You're still young!
Maybe once you're in a good relationship for a few years...you may feel differently. It's good that you respect your culture/family etc though
Original post by forgetamine
You should find a guy who is not that closed minded and doesn't give a **** if you're a virgin before marriage or not. Those double standards are stupid and you shouldn't be with a guy who believes in them. Have sex if you feel comfortable with someone, it doesn't matter if you're married or not. We're in 2012.
This
If a guy truly loves you, he wont care about your past sexual history.
Being a virgin before marriage comes from religious ideas and tbh, religious views on sex aren't logical and are outdated.
Original post by Anonymous
We might be in 2012 but massive double standards still exist. And it's not just even with asian people. If you read all these threads on tsr where guys are throwing around words like "slag" for girls who have had multiple relationships but not doing the same for guys. I feel like i have lost my faith in decent guys especially on tsr they many make generalisations about all girls based on the ones they've been with. I don't think someone needs to wait for marriage to have sex but i find it hard to trust anyone enough to have sex with them. Based on my past experiences I always feel they will dump me after sex so i look for a definite committment.
They only throw names around like that because those type of guys feel that every girl should fall at their feet and want to sleep with them and dont like it when that isnt the reality. Ignore them because decent guys (and there are plenty) arent like that.
Looking for someone you trust is important especially for sex i agree
As for the double standard - whether you are asian or not, ignore it, work past it and live your life how you want it to be, its not your familys, friends or partners decision.
This is only an issue if you live in the 1800s.
Original post by Priya.C
Hey, I'm Indian and im 16...
But my opinion on the matter is, being asian, we've got to consider the impacts on family, the views of our society and the cultural expectations of us. For example, if I was to lose it before marriage, I think my parents would just about die of the shame (they are quite strict) and if anyone in my cultural society was to find out, I would be treated like dirt and probably never be able to get married as most Indian men want a 'clean' girl.
Even I find someone I love and really trust, I would still want them to marry me before we had sex. I mean, what's the big deal? If they loved me, then wouldn't they wait and want to spend the rest of their life with me? This could be good for me because I'm in keeping with my cultural laws while being able to find someone that truly loves me :-) yaaaay!
I do disagree with you where you say men can take part in sexual activities? Because if I was to stay a virgin and marry someone, I would expect them to return the favour too and have waited.
I don't judge any Asian girl who has given it up to someone they really love- it's just a matter of personal preference haha
But my opinion on the matter is, being asian, we've got to consider the impacts on family, the views of our society and the cultural expectations of us. For example, if I was to lose it before marriage, I think my parents would just about die of the shame (they are quite strict) and if anyone in my cultural society was to find out, I would be treated like dirt and probably never be able to get married as most Indian men want a 'clean' girl.
Even I find someone I love and really trust, I would still want them to marry me before we had sex. I mean, what's the big deal? If they loved me, then wouldn't they wait and want to spend the rest of their life with me? This could be good for me because I'm in keeping with my cultural laws while being able to find someone that truly loves me :-) yaaaay!
I do disagree with you where you say men can take part in sexual activities? Because if I was to stay a virgin and marry someone, I would expect them to return the favour too and have waited.
I don't judge any Asian girl who has given it up to someone they really love- it's just a matter of personal preference haha
i think your naive/ at that age you would probably think that but as you grow older you may think otherwise.
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