bedwetting and relationships
Guys what would you say if your girlfriend told you they occasionally wet the bed? I've had bed-wetting problems for the past few years but it's improved over time, maybe once every few weeks now. This is obviously an incredibly embarrassing problem, but there's nothing i can do about it. Medication hasn't worked and as it happens fairly infrequently doctors have just told me to 'manage' it.
The problem is I've been seeing someone for the past two months, but i'm getting to really like him and we're close to starting a relationship. I know i should tell him, but what would your reactions be if your partner told you that they occasionally wet the bed? would it be a deal breaker for you? I've obviously gotten used to it over the years, but I can imagine it would massively freak someone else out and disgust them!
It's such an embarrassing thing and i've never told anyone before, i just have no idea how to bring it up! Any advice would be great, this is such a s*** situation
The problem is I've been seeing someone for the past two months, but i'm getting to really like him and we're close to starting a relationship. I know i should tell him, but what would your reactions be if your partner told you that they occasionally wet the bed? would it be a deal breaker for you? I've obviously gotten used to it over the years, but I can imagine it would massively freak someone else out and disgust them!
It's such an embarrassing thing and i've never told anyone before, i just have no idea how to bring it up! Any advice would be great, this is such a s*** situation
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Me personally? I would give you a hug and feel happy that you felt you could tell me.
That is like...so cute, don't even ask the logic behind that, it's what came to mind when I read your post.
Anyway when you discuss it being infrequent, is it so infrequent that you do not manage it by wearing appropriate underwear when you sleep? Obviously wetting the bed is an issue, so at home do you have a plastic cover over your mattress, or as I say just the underwear, or both, or nothing at all?
I think some guys would react badly in all honesty. Though that tells you about their character and maturity. I imagine to avoid the embarrassment of wetting yourself in their bed, you'd consider wearing appropriate sleepwear? Though I understand that would be an embarrassment in itself for you.
I suppose to clarify, are we talking about severe bed wetting when it does occur?
I can't help but think as I typed out my reply, that if a guy had a bed-wetting issue, would he and a girl suffering the same problem, garner the same response? For some reason I feel it might be more difficult for a guy..maybe that personal viewpoint is unfounded..
Anyway when you discuss it being infrequent, is it so infrequent that you do not manage it by wearing appropriate underwear when you sleep? Obviously wetting the bed is an issue, so at home do you have a plastic cover over your mattress, or as I say just the underwear, or both, or nothing at all?
I think some guys would react badly in all honesty. Though that tells you about their character and maturity. I imagine to avoid the embarrassment of wetting yourself in their bed, you'd consider wearing appropriate sleepwear? Though I understand that would be an embarrassment in itself for you.
I suppose to clarify, are we talking about severe bed wetting when it does occur?
I can't help but think as I typed out my reply, that if a guy had a bed-wetting issue, would he and a girl suffering the same problem, garner the same response? For some reason I feel it might be more difficult for a guy..maybe that personal viewpoint is unfounded..
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by joey11223
That is like...so cute, don't even ask the logic behind that, it's what came to mind when I read your post.
Anyway when you discuss it being infrequent, is it so infrequent that you do not manage it by wearing appropriate underwear when you sleep? Obviously wetting the bed is an issue, so at home do you have a plastic cover over your mattress, or as I say just the underwear, or both, or nothing at all?
I think some guys would react badly in all honesty. Though that tells you about their character and maturity. I imagine to avoid the embarrassment of wetting yourself in their bed, you'd consider wearing appropriate sleepwear? Though I understand that would be an embarrassment in itself for you.
I suppose to clarify, are we talking about severe bed wetting when it does occur?
I can't help but think as I typed out my reply, that if a guy had a bed-wetting issue, would he and a girl suffering the same problem, garner the same response? For some reason I feel it might be more difficult for a guy..maybe that personal viewpoint is unfounded..
Anyway when you discuss it being infrequent, is it so infrequent that you do not manage it by wearing appropriate underwear when you sleep? Obviously wetting the bed is an issue, so at home do you have a plastic cover over your mattress, or as I say just the underwear, or both, or nothing at all?
I think some guys would react badly in all honesty. Though that tells you about their character and maturity. I imagine to avoid the embarrassment of wetting yourself in their bed, you'd consider wearing appropriate sleepwear? Though I understand that would be an embarrassment in itself for you.
I suppose to clarify, are we talking about severe bed wetting when it does occur?
I can't help but think as I typed out my reply, that if a guy had a bed-wetting issue, would he and a girl suffering the same problem, garner the same response? For some reason I feel it might be more difficult for a guy..maybe that personal viewpoint is unfounded..
Thanks for the responses! i know it's gonna be different for everyone and i'm not expecting him to be instantly ok with it, but i'm just trying to figure out what the general opinion is so i can figure out how to tell him this. Sometimes i think it's gonna be awful and sometimes i think it might just end up ok.
I don't wear protective underwear at home, just have a mattress cover and change the sheets at night when it happens. It's not like it happens every night and it's not always a massive amount so I guess i don't find it that big of a deal just changing the sheets, i'm used to it. Although when i stay over somewhere other than my own bed i wear protective underwear and pads. I also usually set a discreet alarm so i can wake up in the middle of the night and go if i need to. I guess i'd have to do the same if i stayed over at his, i just have no idea how it would work if you were sharing a bed with your boyfriend and getting close and stuff.
In terms of severity it's not as severe as some, some people have it every night. I only have it once every 2/3 weeks-ish and sometimes it's heavy sometimes it's just a bit of a leak.
I'm not sure what you mean by your last point? Do you mean if it was a guy suffering with bed-wetting a girl would be less sympathetic? I wouldn't think so, I'd have thought it would be easier for a guy, but then again i guess i'm biased
It's no massive deal, but just to be clear, if it was my gf who had this problem, she WOULD in no uncertains terms be rocking some pampers before entering my bed. Look on the bright side, at least you don't poo the bed, so in some ways you might consider yourself to be lucky, waking up caked in poo wouldn't be a good look
Original post by Anonymous
I'm not sure what you mean by your last point? Do you mean if it was a guy suffering with bed-wetting a girl would be less sympathetic? I wouldn't think so, I'd have thought it would be easier for a guy, but then again i guess i'm biased
I'm not sure what you mean by your last point? Do you mean if it was a guy suffering with bed-wetting a girl would be less sympathetic? I wouldn't think so, I'd have thought it would be easier for a guy, but then again i guess i'm biased
Yeah basically, not sure why..I just feel the embarrassment would be more so and possibly less sympathy, just because bladder control issues are more a female thing (bladder weakness) and it's mostly more emasculating for a guy to feel vulnerable in such a way, it'll depend on individuals though.
As for the issue of closeness with your boyfriend, one idea could be to put on the protective underwear and pad when you are absolutely going to sleep, not when you've got into bed together, if that makes sense.
It's part of you- be honest with him exactly how you've told us, how you are nervous about it affecting your relationship but how you have found ways to deal with it. If he isn't supportive then he isn't right for you 
I see what you mean about it being more difficult for guys, i guess it just depends on how accepting the people involved are. Yeah i'd wear protective underwear, just put it on last minute, it would be mortifying if i messed up his sheets! thanks for the responses, hopefully he'll be ok with it. Guess i just have to try or stay single forever!
In a funny kinda way you are lucky. This is a genuine hurdle for your relationship and getting through it will solidify the relationship or expose it for not being particularly strong anyway.
So many people have relationships without any kind of real difficulty or obstacle and end up thinking they love each or some ****. And then when something comes along, which it always does, the relationship is exposed for being built on sand.
So many people have relationships without any kind of real difficulty or obstacle and end up thinking they love each or some ****. And then when something comes along, which it always does, the relationship is exposed for being built on sand.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Classical Liberal
Me personally? I would give you a hug and feel happy that you felt you could tell me.
I actually awhed.
Personally, I wouldn't be too fussed. I know I'm not a guy, but well...it's hardly the worst thing that could happen. I hope it goes well for you anyway, OP.
Original post by Anonymous
Guys what would you say if your girlfriend told you they occasionally wet the bed? I've had bed-wetting problems for the past few years but it's improved over time, maybe once every few weeks now. This is obviously an incredibly embarrassing problem, but there's nothing i can do about it. Medication hasn't worked and as it happens fairly infrequently doctors have just told me to 'manage' it.
The problem is I've been seeing someone for the past two months, but i'm getting to really like him and we're close to starting a relationship. I know i should tell him, but what would your reactions be if your partner told you that they occasionally wet the bed? would it be a deal breaker for you? I've obviously gotten used to it over the years, but I can imagine it would massively freak someone else out and disgust them!
It's such an embarrassing thing and i've never told anyone before, i just have no idea how to bring it up! Any advice would be great, this is such a s*** situation
The problem is I've been seeing someone for the past two months, but i'm getting to really like him and we're close to starting a relationship. I know i should tell him, but what would your reactions be if your partner told you that they occasionally wet the bed? would it be a deal breaker for you? I've obviously gotten used to it over the years, but I can imagine it would massively freak someone else out and disgust them!
It's such an embarrassing thing and i've never told anyone before, i just have no idea how to bring it up! Any advice would be great, this is such a s*** situation
At the end of the day, if we were sleeping together and we woke up to find you'd wet the bed, what's the worst that can happen? Wash the bed linen and whatever we wore to bed, and go for a shower.
In other words, it wouldn't put me off you, but obviously I can't speak for malekind. Hope it goes well for you though
yeah it's true, it's not like i can help it and it probably isn't the worst thing in the world but i know it would easily freak some people out! Guess i was just looking for some reassurance, so thanks If he can't handle it i suppose i've just saved myself trouble later on down the line!
If he can't handle it i suppose i've just saved myself trouble later on down the line!I wouldn't worry too much. Honestly - I think my bf would be okay with this, and a lot of guys are much more "meh" about.. pretty much everything than the magazines/general hysteria surrounding relationships would have you believe.
The best way it can go, is you put some plastic under the sheets when you're sleeping over, and then he might be okay without you even wearing a pad (if it was okay with you obviously). After all, it only happens every few weeks. Honestly - if I were your bf/gf, it's what I'd suggest because I like so much to both be naked in bed.
Won't every girl slightly mess up her bfs sheets a few times anyway (with periods)? I could wear a giant pad the whole month round just in case, but frankly it wouldn't be worth it for either me or my bf. He knows ofc (and so must his mum, ugh), he just spares me the awkwardness by not mentioning it when occassionally I have to quietly take away the sheet, scrub out stain, put in regular wash, and replace it.
Mind you I've been seeing my bf for over 3 years. We're so used to each other, our bodily fluids are as one :/ Maybe that's gross to some :P
The best way it can go, is you put some plastic under the sheets when you're sleeping over, and then he might be okay without you even wearing a pad (if it was okay with you obviously). After all, it only happens every few weeks. Honestly - if I were your bf/gf, it's what I'd suggest because I like so much to both be naked in bed.
Won't every girl slightly mess up her bfs sheets a few times anyway (with periods)? I could wear a giant pad the whole month round just in case, but frankly it wouldn't be worth it for either me or my bf. He knows ofc (and so must his mum, ugh), he just spares me the awkwardness by not mentioning it when occassionally I have to quietly take away the sheet, scrub out stain, put in regular wash, and replace it.
Mind you I've been seeing my bf for over 3 years. We're so used to each other, our bodily fluids are as one :/ Maybe that's gross to some :P
Original post by Classical Liberal
In a funny kinda way you are lucky. This is a genuine hurdle for your relationship and getting through it will solidify the relationship or expose it for not being particularly strong anyway.
So many people have relationships without any kind of real difficulty or obstacle and end up thinking they love each or some ****. And then when something comes along, which it always does, the relationship is exposed for being built on sand.
So many people have relationships without any kind of real difficulty or obstacle and end up thinking they love each or some ****. And then when something comes along, which it always does, the relationship is exposed for being built on sand.
I agree with that!
If he minds, he's probably not worth sticking with - it's a surprisingly common problem and one that can easily be accomodated for with a little cooperation. I didn't stop wetting the bed until I was about 13 or 14, so you can grow out of it even if you think you never will. But either way, far better to be frank and honest with him than let him find out the hard way.
I'm not a guy, but my bf has wet the bed about 4 times in our 3yr relationship, so its obviously not really regular, but it does happen. Unfortunately the first time it happened in our bed was also the first time it had ever happened to him! Was a bit of a shock, but we just got on with it. Its never bothered me
That's very tough to talk about with someone outside your family.
Like the first poster, I'd be touched that you had the courage and any decent guys out there will still accept you.
Like the first poster, I'd be touched that you had the courage and any decent guys out there will still accept you.
Hi,
I'm coming from a girls perspective but I really hope it goes okay for you. As someone else has said, guys getting into committed relationships should most likely be aware of the chance of your period starting in the night, and really it isn't that drastically different if you occasionally wet the bed. A first he may do a double take, but I can't imagine for anyone mature that it would be a dealbreaker, it actually has the potential to screen out d**chebags earlier rather than later!
*hugs*
I'm coming from a girls perspective but I really hope it goes okay for you. As someone else has said, guys getting into committed relationships should most likely be aware of the chance of your period starting in the night, and really it isn't that drastically different if you occasionally wet the bed. A first he may do a double take, but I can't imagine for anyone mature that it would be a dealbreaker, it actually has the potential to screen out d**chebags earlier rather than later!
*hugs*
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