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Reply 40
It's completely natural to fantasize about other people. Part of the appeal is that they are different, not necessarily more attractive. By actually masturbating he is not engaging in trying to meet and have sex with these girls, so he is actually remaining faithful. Unless he's turning down sex to masturbate, I wouldn't worry so much. If he is, that's weird and you should talk about it.
Original post by Lala_1234
Ask him to stop. Then again if you have been together for 2 years and you haven't asked him to stop when you first found out (how the hell did you find out?!) then it is doubtful he will change.
If it is bringing you down that much then you need to talk to him and get him to understand how you feel, and try make him see how creepy it is.



How is it creepy? Loads of guys do this. If you were a guy, you'd almost certainly do it as well (and if you ARE a guy, I'm surprised you don't know how common it is).
You should not be worried, he is seeing these girls on FB purely as images, only visual. He has no feelings for them. You, on the other hand, he sees in an emotional way, not just as an object. If he really likes you he may feel guilty for masterbating over you as he sees you as much more than an object.
Original post by Anonymous
I hate to say it but the chances are your boyfriend is lying.

I already know that your mental response to this will be to think that I don't know you or your relationship, and only you can understand the trust you have with your boyfriend, etc. etc. This is because I used to have that kind of relationship, where I thought I had 100% honesty and trust with my boyfriend. He told me he didn't watch porn. I'd never even asked him not to, he just told me he hadn't, and didn't. I used to see people on TSR saying that men who say they don't watch it are lying, but I thought my relationship wasn't like that. We were together for four and a half years, and he kept up the lie. I found out by accident once and was absolutely staggered that he'd been lying for so long.

Not that there's anything wrong with a man masturbating. If you had a higher sex drive, I think you would struggle not to while he wasn't around. Let me ask you something - given that 99.9% of men who are in relationships still masturbate, do you think that none of their women pleasure them enough, and that it's their "fault"? Your stance is really illogical.


Theres a difference between lying and simply keeping something private. I dont know what that difference is tho. How ever a man lying to you about watching porn is OK. He is just embarassed and its his way of keeping things private.
Reply 44
I've got nothing against guys masturbating in relationships, and perhaps it's even a bit optimistic to think it'll always be over you, but I'm the type of person that would feel inadequate if I found out that my boyfriend was looking at pictures of girls he knew. It would make me nervous that maybe he'd act flirty towards them because he's been fantasising about them.

Definitely talk to him! Tell him that you don't mind over porn stars/celebs etc, because you know he has no chance of getting with them, but you'd rather him not do it over people that could be an option for him as they're within close-contact!

However, that being said, don't beat yourself up about it, at least he's not actually having sex with these girls!

:smile:
Reply 45
Original post by Sulphur
Nothing wrong with masturbating, however having said that, I find it somewhat weird that your bf does so to facebook pictures, it just comes off as creepy...real creepy.

PS: Have you considered giving him a "hand" while he's doing it on facebook, maybe you can be the one to pick the pictures this time...Would that help?


Hi, its internationally been changed to 'sulfur' now:tongue:
My view would be

To an imaginary scenario with non-real people = acceptable
To pornography still or moving = a bit tacky (no pun intended)
To images of people he actually knows = no way - that is nasty
Reply 47
I'm assuming these pictures are relatively clothed? I would be a bit worried if my boyfriend masturbated to fully clothed women tbh =/
Also the fact they are 'real people' rather than porn stars or celebrities would make me feel uncomfortable. I mean we've had some moments where I've opened his laptop and porn has been on it but that's just quite funny really, but if it was people he sortof knew I don't think I would feel 100% ok about that.
Reply 48
Original post by abhiksetia
Why would any guy prefer masturbate to anything when you can have sex/get a bj ?
I've been dating someone for 3+ years and to be honest the only time I've ever masturbated is when we haven't seen each other in a while cause of travelling/being in different places.

Obviously I'm attracted to other girls too, and though I think my gf is pretty and I love her, there definitely are other pretty and more attractive girls out there. Sorry to say, but from my perspective at least, what your bf is doing is a bit weird.


Most probably do it because they have a higher sex drive than their gfs/partners - since not many people are into forcing their other halves into having sex, that being rape and all, but still want a bit of fun time...


That said, over pron - celebs etc fine. I understand. Over random real-life other girls? Ok, that seems like crossing the line into weird to me..
That's not on.. I think you should confront him again..


Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 50
Original post by Anonymous
How is it creepy? Loads of guys do this. If you were a guy, you'd almost certainly do it as well (and if you ARE a guy, I'm surprised you don't know how common it is).


I would be a bit creeped out if I knew random guys were pleasuring themselves over my profile picture on Facebook. I'm not the only one saying its creepy


Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Lala_1234
I would be a bit creeped out if I knew random guys were pleasuring themselves over my profile picture on Facebook. I'm not the only one saying its creepy



They probably have done.
Reply 52
Original post by Anonymous
They probably have done.


And that is a creepy thought! Haha


Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 53
I wouldn't worry about porn, but girls he knows/ your friends? Yeah.
You should probably put out more OP :/ Would it ****ing kill you to give him a handie?


*sorry if you are a thalidomide
*sorry if you have no hands
*sorry if your paralysed
*not sorry if your just being a lazy bint
I've got to be honest here. All men masterbate. All of my friends masterbate (male friends ofc) and all of them are in 5+ year relationships. I masterbate. I am in a close-tight relationship and I love my partner so very very much, but there is nothing better than a good, hard ****. Every bloke I knows masterbates. It's not you, it's us.
Original post by Anonymous
I don't know how to make him stop though. I think he has tried, when I confronted him. Either his willpower wasn't strong enough or I guess it comes to him naturally? :frown:


(I really don't mean this to sound creepy, and I'm not looking for you to tell us the answer, just to think about it to yourself), but do you also masturbate? It's actually very common with girls, if less so than boys.

If you do, then you should know that people use all kinds of mental images to help with it, but it really doesn't indicate a genuine desire. Sometimes your partner isn't enough, for the simple reason that you can have actual sex with them, wheras thinking about other people feels 'forbidden', and so exciting. For this reason I wouldn't worry about it. It's totally natural. If anything I would say it's beneficial to your relationship because it will get the thought of other girls out of his system and stop him feeling trapped.

Hope I haven't creeped you out here by being too detailed, but I think this is genuinely good advice :redface:
Reply 57
Original post by myah_94
Hi, its internationally been changed to 'sulfur' now:tongue:


I'm...honored?
Reply 58
Original post by Sulphur
I'm...honored?


haha
Reply 59
Oh my god how could anyone be okay with this haha?!
These are girls he could actually be in contact with... He could easily message them, meet up and get it on!
Nah, I'd be absolutely raging. Get him told.

Its one thing getting off to a fake porn star or celebrity that he's never going to meet but when its a girl he actually knows it is NOT okay.

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