Can i have a guy friend if i have a bf?

Hi, im 19 and my mum wanted to pair me uo with this boy (she worked with his mum) for months now as hes very very shy and wanted to have a friend and because I am anxious too she thought it would be a good idea. However, i have a bf now and my mum still wants me to meet this guy and wants me to go to the cinema with him. Is this strange? I personally think it is. i haven’t told my bf yet cos idk if im going to go… but my boyfriend is at uni so im sure he’s making lots of friends that are girls ? but he wont be with them solo i don’t think?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

maybe talk to your boyfriend about it, it’s better to see what his reaction and feelings are about this but if he doesn’t mind then go for it i think it’s a good idea that your befriending that boy

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

maybe talk to your boyfriend about it, it’s better to see what his reaction and feelings are about this but if he doesn’t mind then go for it i think it’s a good idea that your befriending that boy

thank you! he overthinks a lot and because we live 2-3 hours away (bc of his uni) im hoping he is ok with it. the boy that wants to be my friend lives 2 mins away but i do have a feeling that my bf will become jealous and won’t approve but i want to also help my mum out as she feels a bit bad now as i have a bf and she doesn’t want to tell the mother…. i would like to meet him and be friends but i feel like going out just as us feels odd idk but i do want to help the person and be his friend as im also betyer at being friends w guys than girls idk why but i have a closer bond friendship wise.

Reply 3

username6141423

12

Original post by Anonymous

Hi, im 19 and my mum wanted to pair me uo with this boy (she worked with his mum) for months now as hes very very shy and wanted to have a friend and because I am anxious too she thought it would be a good idea. However, i have a bf now and my mum still wants me to meet this guy and wants me to go to the cinema with him. Is this strange? I personally think it is. i haven’t told my bf yet cos idk if im going to go… but my boyfriend is at uni so im sure he’s making lots of friends that are girls ? but he wont be with them solo i don’t think?

This is difficult to answer without knowing your relationship with your boyfriend.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by ekiraiai

This is difficult to answer without knowing your relationship with your boyfriend.

ik it’s really hard! i kinda have a feeling he’d be jealous or overthink. i also need a friend too as i am cooped up at home or working or studying at home (home learning) and i dont have any social life so i’d like it too. my boyfriend im sure talks to people so he has people to make friends with but im alone at the moment. i really would like a friend but idk if he’d allow it really.

Reply 5

Anonymous #3

talk to your boyfriend about it and if possible let your boyfriend meet the other guys so he can see for himself and this will also increase trust between you guys.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

talk to your boyfriend about it and if possible let your boyfriend meet the other guys so he can see for himself and this will also increase trust between you guys.

he cannot meet the guy. he is literally 2-3 houes away at uni. he wont be back for a few weeks. idk what is right really. i’ll ask him tonight i suppose

Reply 7

username6141423

12

Original post by Anonymous

ik it’s really hard! i kinda have a feeling he’d be jealous or overthink. i also need a friend too as i am cooped up at home or working or studying at home (home learning) and i dont have any social life so i’d like it too. my boyfriend im sure talks to people so he has people to make friends with but im alone at the moment. i really would like a friend but idk if he’d allow it really.

if that is so, i think you should make some friends so do go meet with that guys, but make sure he knows about you having a boyfriend

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by ekiraiai

if that is so, i think you should make some friends so do go meet with that guys, but make sure he knows about you having a boyfriend

yeah i hope so! what if my bf isn’t happy with it? shojld i tell my mum no?

Reply 9

username6141423

12

Original post by Anonymous

yeah i hope so! what if my bf isn’t happy with it? shojld i tell my mum no?

if he says no, me personally i would not like to be in that relationship. in order to build a stronger relationship there are risks u two must take. i think if he were to say no that makes me question does that mean he doesnt want you to guy friends?

(edited 6 months ago)

Reply 10

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

he cannot meet the guy. he is literally 2-3 houes away at uni. he wont be back for a few weeks. idk what is right really. i’ll ask him tonight i suppose

oh ok. so maybe let your boyfriend talk with the guy first and then met, be safe girl

Reply 11

Surnia

20

Original post by Anonymous

he cannot meet the guy. he is literally 2-3 houes away at uni. he wont be back for a few weeks. idk what is right really. i’ll ask him tonight i suppose

Original post by Anonymous

yeah i hope so! what if my bf isn’t happy with it? shojld i tell my mum no?

'Ask' your boyfriend? You mean 'tell' your boyfriend. You don't need his permission to do this, like I'm sure he won't be phoning you every time he wants to socialise with girls at uni. However, there's no rush. You don't even know if you will develop a friendship with the shy guy, and you don't have to if it's too awkward or boring, so see how it goes.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by ekiraiai

if he says no, me personally i would not like to be in that relationship. in order to build a stronger relationship there are risks u two must take. i think if he were to say no that makes me question does that mean he doesnt want you to guy friends?

yeah ill tell him tonight maybe. how should i say it?
just a bit worried tbh because i love him a lot and dont wanna lose him ot anything

Reply 13

username5955039

21

Original post by Anonymous

Hi, im 19 and my mum wanted to pair me uo with this boy (she worked with his mum) for months now as hes very very shy and wanted to have a friend and because I am anxious too she thought it would be a good idea. However, i have a bf now and my mum still wants me to meet this guy and wants me to go to the cinema with him. Is this strange? I personally think it is. i haven’t told my bf yet cos idk if im going to go… but my boyfriend is at uni so im sure he’s making lots of friends that are girls ? but he wont be with them solo i don’t think?