Parents not going on first day of uni?

I was just wondering is it normal for parents to refuse to take their children on the first day of Uni? I asked mine and they said it was my decision to go to Uni and that I should make my own way there on the train.
I don't care that they are, they've been really cruel this past year putting me down because I'm going to Uni and they never had the option to go. I just want to know how common this is and if I'm alone or not.

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Reply 1

ed-

No that is not normal... Parents are supposed to be supportive :redface:

Reply 2

Daniel George

by the way your parents have been with you this past year, why would you want them to enjoy something you have worked hard for and earned yourself? this is your achievement, not theirs - you should take pleasure in that! :rolleyes:

Reply 3

Plantagenet Crown

Yeah, that attitude is certainly odd.....if parents never got the chance to go to Uni, you'd think that they'd be happy that their kid got to go, not expect them to suffer their actions..

Reply 4

Louise4

Im sorry to hear that OP your parents reaction sounds quite immature, they seem jealous.
Maybe try and talk to them about it?
You're going to have a lot of stuff with you so you're going to struggle getting the train

Good luck with getting into uni (I assume you're waiting on results)

Reply 5

ed-

Original post by Daniel George

I think you're entirely missing the point...
Do you really think that parents going with you on the first day is an intrusion of something you've worked for?
They go to help take all your stuff, move in and show support...

Reply 6

Daniel George

Original post by ed-

did your parents not read you the little red hen story as a kid?

Reply 7

Ezekiella

OP, just get down early on the train (check into your accommodation as soon as you can), settle in ASAP and then when other people come round to say hi just say your parents had to leave early as they had work/a family wedding to attend or something. Having the parents round is a nuisance in some sense anyway, trust me - it can make it really awkward meeting new people, which is what freshers is all about.

Good luck with uni! You'll love it :smile:

Reply 8

Minion125

Original post by Daniel George

did your parents not read you the little red hen story as a kid?

That story is legendary! I live by it.

Anyway, back to the OP... I'm sorry your parents had that reaction to it! Hopefully they will acknowledge your achievement and come round to it soon :smile:

My Dad has always been jealous/bitter when my Mum put me in private school he refused to help and said it was a waste of money. He still believes that to this day. I know how it feels. :rolleyes:

I'm not sure how 'common' it is but regardless of how they feel/ people around you feel just do the best you can and if it comes to it (dare I say it) you may have to let go of the people who drag you down.

Ending on a positive. Well Done OP and best of luck! :crossedf:

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 9

SophieSmall

Hey Matt I'm pretty sure I know you :P If I do I saw your post on Facebook about them trying to stop you studying to go find a job?

Maybe they're just upset that you're leaving and don't know how to cope?

Reply 10

iGetInspired

What? I always thought that parents want their kids to achieve more than they did as they didn't have the 'same opportunity'

Reply 11

Daniel George

Original post by Chanjc

That story is legendary! I live by it.

Anyway, back to the OP... I'm sorry your parents had that reaction to it! Hopefully they will acknowledge your achievement and come round to it soon :smile:

My Dad has always been jealous/bitter when my Mum put me in private school he refused to help and said it was a waste of money. He still believes that to this day. I know how it feels. :rolleyes:

I am quite black and white - but yeah me too! :biggrin:

Reply 12

marcus2001

Tell your parents to stop being little sh*ts and drop you off

Reply 13

jackf1337

I'm not sure how the hell I'd have taken my stuff on the train to uni. Add the tube to that as well because I go to university in London. My dad drove me down and helped me move in and unpack; wouldn't have had it any other way. Not sure how I'd have managed without him.

Heck, my flatmate from Rome had her mum come with her o.0

Reply 14

Vitamin D

Very odd. Rent a car/van if you can drive, or find someone else willing to take you?

Reply 15

WhiteTea

Parents do normally com ebecause they want to see where their child is going to be for teh next term but in terms of taking stuff it's not the end of the world/ As someone who's been oing back and forth from uni for a few years now at first I would take car load back and forth but I've realised I don't need that much stuff and can literally just atke the train with the key things I need (you'll just learn to pack light fast!)

Reply 16

Lara5

I feel for you OP. That's harsh. But if September comes around and your parents are still not willing to drop you off at uni I'd suggest using unibaggage.com or something along those lines.
I live in Northern Ireland so for me to take all my stuff to England by car (ie. ferry boat) would be incredibly expensive, so I'm using this unibaggage thing. Apparently it's pretty safe and cheap (which is always a bonus!) :tongue:

Reply 17

ed-

Original post by Daniel George

did your parents not read you the little red hen story as a kid?

And I'm sure that's a perfectly justified reason for parents to stop supporting their child out of jealously and spite when they're setting out to live away from home for the first time.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 18

Kutta

my parents are the opposite, they have never been to Uni but they would send me to the other side of the world (and take me) to go uni

Reply 19

lou_100

I've heard of it before "on TSR", but in real life, I'd consider that abnormal yeah.

As far as I know everyone who I know that's been to university has had their parents drive up with them to drop clothes/furniture off and have a look round where you're going to be living. It's a scary thing going to uni for the first time and knowing nobody so yeah I'd say parents also additionally want to go to comfort their child if needed, and actually if not needed (worried mum syndrome and all).

I feel for your circumstance, but know that while it is not normal/common, you aren't the only one. Do they not know much about University life? I say that because I reckon some parents want to go to drop their kids off maybe because they've seen other parents do it and know it's "the thing to do". Yours may not realise that it's the common thing to do.

You could try saying that you could really do with the support and stuff and/or help moving your clothes and bits and bobs. If they say no, then fine, go solo and don't worry about it :smile: