Parents wont let me visit unis
Im in year 12 and im going to be applying for university this year but before i sent my applications i want to view the university's so i know if i like them but my parents wont let me as they are too far i try to explain why i need to but my parents dont think its a big deal they are quite strict so they wont let me go on the train to e.g. preston from gatwick. Most universities i look at are quite far so I understand where they come from but i just wish they would listen to me. Do i just not visit them like is it that important or should i try and talk to my college to convince them?
Original post by heyidontknowwhat
Im in year 12 and im going to be applying for university this year but before i sent my applications i want to view the university's so i know if i like them but my parents wont let me as they are too far i try to explain why i need to but my parents dont think its a big deal they are quite strict so they wont let me go on the train to e.g. preston from gatwick. Most universities i look at are quite far so I understand where they come from but i just wish they would listen to me. Do i just not visit them like is it that important or should i try and talk to my college to convince them?
Hi @heyidontknowwhat,
That’s great that you’re applying to uni!
Personally, visiting an open day for me was the best way to decide which university I liked the most. It helped me to visualise myself studying at the uni and I think it’s always best to see things for yourself as a picture on a website can only tell you so much.
I can understand why your parents are unsure about the open days and the travelling distances. Have you talked to them about visiting the universities together? Or maybe you could choose your universities for your application from online research, but visit a ‘top 2’ that you really like the look of to see what they’re like in person? Then you’re still experiencing some university open days.
I found visiting different universities helpful as you can get a staff and student perspective first hand, and it’s also good to check out other factors like accommodation and the cities themselves while you’re visiting.
Although I think open days are a great idea, it’s not the end of the world if you can’t attend. You can always email the universities directly to ask personal questions and check out different uni social media pages as these often show some good insight into the universities.
I hope this helps, and any questions you or your parents may have about university or open days, drop them into the thread.
Emily
Student Ambassador at Birmingham City University
Getting the right University is so important. Do your parents really want you to go? You are in a difficult position but if you are over 18 you can decide what to do. You absolutely have to visit to get a 'feel' for the Uni environment, the buildings, your faculty where you will study. They all have a 'sense' of warmth or not. This is as much visual as well as the gut feeling you get from others students and tutors. If you are spending 3 to 4 years on campus you will need to visit and know that where you choose to study is right for you - urban or rural environment. If you can try to persuade your parents. If you can't - plan all of the logistics and go on a college day. This is your life, your career - otherwise why are you going to University? Your parents cannot control you forever.
Original post by BCU Student Rep
Hi @heyidontknowwhat,
That’s great that you’re applying to uni!
Personally, visiting an open day for me was the best way to decide which university I liked the most. It helped me to visualise myself studying at the uni and I think it’s always best to see things for yourself as a picture on a website can only tell you so much.
I can understand why your parents are unsure about the open days and the travelling distances. Have you talked to them about visiting the universities together? Or maybe you could choose your universities for your application from online research, but visit a ‘top 2’ that you really like the look of to see what they’re like in person? Then you’re still experiencing some university open days.
I found visiting different universities helpful as you can get a staff and student perspective first hand, and it’s also good to check out other factors like accommodation and the cities themselves while you’re visiting.
Although I think open days are a great idea, it’s not the end of the world if you can’t attend. You can always email the universities directly to ask personal questions and check out different uni social media pages as these often show some good insight into the universities.
I hope this helps, and any questions you or your parents may have about university or open days, drop them into the thread.
Emily
Student Ambassador at Birmingham City University
That’s great that you’re applying to uni!
Personally, visiting an open day for me was the best way to decide which university I liked the most. It helped me to visualise myself studying at the uni and I think it’s always best to see things for yourself as a picture on a website can only tell you so much.
I can understand why your parents are unsure about the open days and the travelling distances. Have you talked to them about visiting the universities together? Or maybe you could choose your universities for your application from online research, but visit a ‘top 2’ that you really like the look of to see what they’re like in person? Then you’re still experiencing some university open days.
I found visiting different universities helpful as you can get a staff and student perspective first hand, and it’s also good to check out other factors like accommodation and the cities themselves while you’re visiting.
Although I think open days are a great idea, it’s not the end of the world if you can’t attend. You can always email the universities directly to ask personal questions and check out different uni social media pages as these often show some good insight into the universities.
I hope this helps, and any questions you or your parents may have about university or open days, drop them into the thread.
Emily
Student Ambassador at Birmingham City University
Ive compiled up a list of a few universities that im interested in but no universities near me offer forensic science so id have to travel either way. Im very interested in university of central Lancashire and university of Northumbria but these are both like 5-7 hours away. My dad doesnt want to drive there or even come with me because he doesnt want to spend all that time travelling.
I also feel like i need to see the campus in person to see if i can see myself living there for 4 years but my parents dont think its a big deal. They just compare me to other people saying that if they didnt visit then i dont need to. For me choosing the right university is very important but as im the first person in my family to go i dont think they understand.
Being 16 and travelling on the train ages away is a big step as im aware of all the dangers and the stuff that could go wrong but its also that no one else wants to go with me and i dont want that to be the main reason of missing out of open days.
Im considering talking to my tutor in college to see if she could help my situation
Original post by Muttly
Getting the right University is so important. Do your parents really want you to go? You are in a difficult position but if you are over 18 you can decide what to do. You absolutely have to visit to get a 'feel' for the Uni environment, the buildings, your faculty where you will study. They all have a 'sense' of warmth or not. This is as much visual as well as the gut feeling you get from others students and tutors. If you are spending 3 to 4 years on campus you will need to visit and know that where you choose to study is right for you - urban or rural environment. If you can try to persuade your parents. If you can't - plan all of the logistics and go on a college day. This is your life, your career - otherwise why are you going to University? Your parents cannot control you forever.
Im only 16 so i get why my parents are unsure about letting me visit university open days but i just think its unfair because im missing out. Using information online is definitely good but i should go and look for myself in person to make sure i feel good about my decision if i decide to go.
if i went there on a college day my parents would probably call the police knowing them 😭 or just never trust me again. I think another reason why they dont want me to go is that im the younger child so they dont want to see me visiting universities that are hours away from them. Ive tried speaking to them about this kind of stiff but they always start an argument saying that im being stupid.
Original post by heyidontknowwhat
Ive compiled up a list of a few universities that im interested in but no universities near me offer forensic science so id have to travel either way. Im very interested in university of central Lancashire and university of Northumbria but these are both like 5-7 hours away. My dad doesnt want to drive there or even come with me because he doesnt want to spend all that time travelling.
I also feel like i need to see the campus in person to see if i can see myself living there for 4 years but my parents dont think its a big deal. They just compare me to other people saying that if they didnt visit then i dont need to. For me choosing the right university is very important but as im the first person in my family to go i dont think they understand.
Being 16 and travelling on the train ages away is a big step as im aware of all the dangers and the stuff that could go wrong but its also that no one else wants to go with me and i dont want that to be the main reason of missing out of open days.
Im considering talking to my tutor in college to see if she could help my situation
I also feel like i need to see the campus in person to see if i can see myself living there for 4 years but my parents dont think its a big deal. They just compare me to other people saying that if they didnt visit then i dont need to. For me choosing the right university is very important but as im the first person in my family to go i dont think they understand.
Being 16 and travelling on the train ages away is a big step as im aware of all the dangers and the stuff that could go wrong but its also that no one else wants to go with me and i dont want that to be the main reason of missing out of open days.
Im considering talking to my tutor in college to see if she could help my situation
Hi there @heyidontknowwhat,
It's great to hear that you are interested in coming to study Forensic Science here at UCLan. Attending one of our open days would be the best way to get a feel for campus, it allows you to speak to course tutors and current students to learn more about life here on campus. If you are unable to attend an open day don't worry as we do offer a great virtual experience at UCLan. Here you’ll find everything you need to know about studying with us. Here you will get the chance to discover information about your course and student life as well exploring our accommodation, our campuses and more.
If you have any questions please do let me know and I will be happy to help!
Best wishes,
Sarah
Original post by heyidontknowwhat
Im in year 12 and im going to be applying for university this year but before i sent my applications i want to view the university's so i know if i like them but my parents wont let me as they are too far i try to explain why i need to but my parents dont think its a big deal they are quite strict so they wont let me go on the train to e.g. preston from gatwick. Most universities i look at are quite far so I understand where they come from but i just wish they would listen to me. Do i just not visit them like is it that important or should i try and talk to my college to convince them?
Hi there,
There's many other ways you can get a feel for the university that you'd like to attend, if you're unable to travel to open days. Asking current students on forums like TSR is a start but you could also participate in virtual open days where available or look at recent university rankings. However, it is great to see the university (and the city as a whole) in person. It may be worth having a chat with your parents and showing them that you have thoroughly thought about attending the days. You could include transport options for getting there, an itinerary of the day and how you've factored in any costs.
Hope this helps!
- Sophie
Original post by heyidontknowwhat
Im in year 12 and im going to be applying for university this year but before i sent my applications i want to view the university's so i know if i like them but my parents wont let me as they are too far i try to explain why i need to but my parents dont think its a big deal they are quite strict so they wont let me go on the train to e.g. preston from gatwick. Most universities i look at are quite far so I understand where they come from but i just wish they would listen to me. Do i just not visit them like is it that important or should i try and talk to my college to convince them?
It’s fairly important you should totally get your collage involved it’s not the end of the world as there are applicant days and they are very important to go to especially as they sometimes involve an interview. Can you just not tell your parents about them and go anyway? like get an uber to the station or something?
Original post by heyidontknowwhat
Im in year 12 and im going to be applying for university this year but before i sent my applications i want to view the university's so i know if i like them but my parents wont let me as they are too far i try to explain why i need to but my parents dont think its a big deal they are quite strict so they wont let me go on the train to e.g. preston from gatwick. Most universities i look at are quite far so I understand where they come from but i just wish they would listen to me. Do i just not visit them like is it that important or should i try and talk to my college to convince them?
Hey there @heyidontknowwhat !
As you're in year 12 I'd assume you're 18, surely by this point your parents will respect you making your own decisions. Why not take yourself out for the day to visit some universities? If not, try and calmly explain to them at the end of the day it's a lot of debt you're getting into if you're not going to end up liking the place. Going to visit universities before I went was one of the best decisions I've ever made because it confirmed for me that I wanted to go to my insurance choice more than my firm and that's what I ended up doing. The city could be the make or break for you in your decision. You could also go and visit possible accommodation choices so try and explain to them that you'd really appreciate their support on it and don't want to go by yourself. You can also go online and look for university's virtual open days if they still don't let you. I will say it's a really good decision to go and look round and that either way you should try and make it happen if that's what you want to do. Why not take one of your friends with you and make a weekend of it?
Hope this helped!
Lucy - Digital Student Ambassador SHU
Original post by hallamstudents
Hey there @heyidontknowwhat !
As you're in year 12 I'd assume you're 18, surely by this point your parents will respect you making your own decisions. Why not take yourself out for the day to visit some universities? If not, try and calmly explain to them at the end of the day it's a lot of debt you're getting into if you're not going to end up liking the place. Going to visit universities before I went was one of the best decisions I've ever made because it confirmed for me that I wanted to go to my insurance choice more than my firm and that's what I ended up doing. The city could be the make or break for you in your decision. You could also go and visit possible accommodation choices so try and explain to them that you'd really appreciate their support on it and don't want to go by yourself. You can also go online and look for university's virtual open days if they still don't let you. I will say it's a really good decision to go and look round and that either way you should try and make it happen if that's what you want to do. Why not take one of your friends with you and make a weekend of it?
Hope this helped!
Lucy - Digital Student Ambassador SHU
As you're in year 12 I'd assume you're 18, surely by this point your parents will respect you making your own decisions. Why not take yourself out for the day to visit some universities? If not, try and calmly explain to them at the end of the day it's a lot of debt you're getting into if you're not going to end up liking the place. Going to visit universities before I went was one of the best decisions I've ever made because it confirmed for me that I wanted to go to my insurance choice more than my firm and that's what I ended up doing. The city could be the make or break for you in your decision. You could also go and visit possible accommodation choices so try and explain to them that you'd really appreciate their support on it and don't want to go by yourself. You can also go online and look for university's virtual open days if they still don't let you. I will say it's a really good decision to go and look round and that either way you should try and make it happen if that's what you want to do. Why not take one of your friends with you and make a weekend of it?
Hope this helped!
Lucy - Digital Student Ambassador SHU
hello thankyou for this but im only 16 as i skipped a year in secondary school which allowed me to go to college early. I think this is part of the reason why they dont want me to go is that im too young to be travellibg that far. My parents might reconsider if i brought a friend but i dont have any 💀. Also ive looked at a few virtual open days and they seem good but obviously its not the same as going to the uni.
Original post by StudentRoost Rep
Hi there,
There's many other ways you can get a feel for the university that you'd like to attend, if you're unable to travel to open days. Asking current students on forums like TSR is a start but you could also participate in virtual open days where available or look at recent university rankings. However, it is great to see the university (and the city as a whole) in person. It may be worth having a chat with your parents and showing them that you have thoroughly thought about attending the days. You could include transport options for getting there, an itinerary of the day and how you've factored in any costs.
Hope this helps!
- Sophie
There's many other ways you can get a feel for the university that you'd like to attend, if you're unable to travel to open days. Asking current students on forums like TSR is a start but you could also participate in virtual open days where available or look at recent university rankings. However, it is great to see the university (and the city as a whole) in person. It may be worth having a chat with your parents and showing them that you have thoroughly thought about attending the days. You could include transport options for getting there, an itinerary of the day and how you've factored in any costs.
Hope this helps!
- Sophie
Thankyou Sophie! Ive looked at a few virtual open days and they seem good but it would be better to visit so im going to try and convince my parents somehow. Ive planned the routes to get the them but my parents still think its way too far and i get that. The trains also dont cost much because i have a railcard so its not about money. I think one of the reasons why they wont let me go is that they dont want me to like a university far away because then ill have to move ages away. I think i might just speak to someone at my college to ask for advice.
Hey,
This sounds like a little bit of a tough situation, but as someone who had to apply to uni in Covd times, I didn't have any open days or applicant days in person (except for 1 super socially distanced applicant day for a uni I didn't even like 💀) so it's not the end of the world if you don't go to them all.
Seeing as you're yet to choose unis and apply, I'd suggest you decide on a few unis that you'll extensively reserach online and then based off that you choose 3-5 potentials and go visit them. If it helps, you could pick some unis next to each other (like 1 hour away neighbouring cities) and visit them on the same day.
If you've got no friends then you should definitely ask some siblings or cousins if you've got any/ are close to, to visit the unis with you.
You should definitely visit at least 2 of the unis in person because you need to understand how to travel home and there for holidays, emergencies etc. And you have to understand where the accommodation is in relation to campus, and where the amenities of the city are.
You should talk to a tutor at school about this, cos as far as I'm aware, my school had an 'open evening' (albeit virtual) for parents, teachers and students to discuss uni
Good luck!
This sounds like a little bit of a tough situation, but as someone who had to apply to uni in Covd times, I didn't have any open days or applicant days in person (except for 1 super socially distanced applicant day for a uni I didn't even like 💀) so it's not the end of the world if you don't go to them all.
Seeing as you're yet to choose unis and apply, I'd suggest you decide on a few unis that you'll extensively reserach online and then based off that you choose 3-5 potentials and go visit them. If it helps, you could pick some unis next to each other (like 1 hour away neighbouring cities) and visit them on the same day.
If you've got no friends then you should definitely ask some siblings or cousins if you've got any/ are close to, to visit the unis with you.
You should definitely visit at least 2 of the unis in person because you need to understand how to travel home and there for holidays, emergencies etc. And you have to understand where the accommodation is in relation to campus, and where the amenities of the city are.
You should talk to a tutor at school about this, cos as far as I'm aware, my school had an 'open evening' (albeit virtual) for parents, teachers and students to discuss uni
Good luck!
Original post by heyidontknowwhat
Im in year 12 and im going to be applying for university this year but before i sent my applications i want to view the university's so i know if i like them but my parents wont let me as they are too far i try to explain why i need to but my parents dont think its a big deal they are quite strict so they wont let me go on the train to e.g. preston from gatwick. Most universities i look at are quite far so I understand where they come from but i just wish they would listen to me. Do i just not visit them like is it that important or should i try and talk to my college to convince them?
Hi there,
Firstly it's fab that you are applying for uni, congrats. Personally I found the open days really helpful to get a general feel of the campus and the staff. That definitely helped me to make my decision. I know alot of people during covid didn't get to visit an open day, you may find that there are virtual open days etc on university websites that you can use if your parents really aren't keen on you going. Have you discussed going together? It is tricky when it is so far away.
I hope this helps,
Ellen
Y3 Medical Student
University of Sunderland
Digital Ambassador
Hey,
I found open days helpful in getting a feel for the place is there a friend you could travel with? Some universities offer summer schools to year 12 students you would travel to the University for two or three days and get to experience University life usually expenses such as travel and activities are covered. Would this be an option
If not a lot of Universities have virtual open days.
Rebecca York St John University Student Ambassador
I found open days helpful in getting a feel for the place is there a friend you could travel with? Some universities offer summer schools to year 12 students you would travel to the University for two or three days and get to experience University life usually expenses such as travel and activities are covered. Would this be an option
If not a lot of Universities have virtual open days.
Rebecca York St John University Student Ambassador
Original post by heyidontknowwhat
Im in year 12 and im going to be applying for university this year but before i sent my applications i want to view the university's so i know if i like them but my parents wont let me as they are too far i try to explain why i need to but my parents dont think its a big deal they are quite strict so they wont let me go on the train to e.g. preston from gatwick. Most universities i look at are quite far so I understand where they come from but i just wish they would listen to me. Do i just not visit them like is it that important or should i try and talk to my college to convince them?
Your parents need to understand that if you're going to be going to one of those unis that are far away, you're going to be making that trip by yourself multiple times a year, possibly every week depending on your situation. They need to get used to the fact that you're moving out and having your own life and you going for open days doesn't impact them at all, but will help you loads.
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