I want to live away from Uni but my parents won't let me

Imo you can try to convince them but if that doesnt work just leave. Youre an adult, dont let your parents dictate your life, get into the real world and get some independence. If not now, when? Imo it shouldnt be there decision but obviously it would be nice if they were in agreement.

I want to be independent yada yada and be who I really am, have nights out date whatever gender I want to etc. Just escape from very restrictive, conservative parents who won't even let me dress how I want to.

I plan on doing English and Spanish so I can go virtually any uni with grade requirements low enough. I live in London and have a BBB offer with king's college so that seems to be my most viable option.

I've tried to convince my parents before but they refute my points with 'you can learn independence at home' ' you can make friends at uni without living there' etc
Interestingly, my parents will allow me to go a year abroad in Mexico but not uni an hour away. They are worried that I'll hang out with the wrong crowd. Is it worth convincing them or do I just leave since I'm 18? If I do leave, how do I go about this? I have a lot of items that are large but I really want to take with me and I don't know the logistics of sneaking out, unless I get a friend to help. I am not concerned financially as I am low income so I would get a large loan and I would work too. Do I leave to be who I truly am or do I just listen to them (it's worth pointing out that they are overly restrictive and have been my whole life and I'm worried it will continue if I don't stand up for myself)

It sounds like their main reason for objecting to you leaving home is that they don't trust you. And that your plan to deal with that lack of trust is to secretly sneak your belongings out of home and then go behind their backs.

While I'm not saying that their lack of trust is justified your response seems a bit extreme when you've got 11 months to better understand their concerns and address them and demonstrate to them that you can be trusted.

You say you're not worried about finances because you're from a low income family - your parents will be asked to provide household income information to support your application for student finance in March-May 2024 (for 2024/25 funding) and then again every march-may throughout your degree. If you breakdown your relationship with them then it will be difficult to get more than the basic loan amount in future years of your degree if they refuse to provide income information to SFE.

I am a parent and accepting my children have become young adults has bought some challenges. How to keep my children safe? How to evolve our relationship together as their needs change? etc

It sounds like you need a grown up conversation with your parents, if they cant do that (or you have tried and failed) then walking away is possibly your only option. Be nice if you could do it in a way that doesn't burn any bridges

In terms of practicalities, a "man with a van" will get your gear out of the house fairly quickly. You will have to solve where it goes, friends attic/garage? paid for storage (quite pricey). Uni accom contracts are not usually all year, so you might have to think about where you will live

I think the first thing you should do is probably try and find out what their fears about you living out are that way you can try and dispel them. If the worry about you safety point out how safe the area you pan to go is. If they worry you won’t be able to eat or look after yourself cook some meals and do little house work to demonstrate that you can do those things. Are your parents by any chances south asian? if they are and their objections are religion based show them the SU’s Isoc. If that concoction dons’t work I’d go anyway. Your probably thinking but how do i do that? Well I’m glad you asked :

This is only to be used as a last resort if your conversations and other options fail here is the nuclear option:

Setup

1/ First of all get acmes to you bank account if you don’t have it and don’t let your parents near it having access to your funds is key fo this to work.

2/ This is optional but get a part time job over Christmas most shops are looking for seasonal workers and your parents should support this it shows a bit of maturity and also looks good on your CV save as much of the money you get from this job as you can.

3/ Buy a cheap or free pay as you go sim card but don’t activate it yet.

4/ Buy a big hold all and hide it in you room or at a friends.

5/ Apply to university If i remember correctly there is a space for your postal address and your home address on your UCAS form so get your UCAS stuff sent to a trusted friend who can give you the post at school/collage or in town or something.

6/ Get your finance sorted you’ll want to get your parents to fill in their bit first then you fill in your part.

Then all you need to worry about is passing your exams.

Preparation

1/ After results day you want to slowly start moving clothes over to the hold all either when your parents are at work (If they work) or if not at night while they are asleep or something.

2/ The day before you leave go out to town to buy “supplies” like paper notepads and stuff at least that’s what you tell your parents in reality your going to the train station and buying a train ticket to go to uni.

3/ Write a letter telling your parents you’ve gone to uni don’t tell them which one and you’ll call them once your settled in and unpacked and that you’l see the at christmas.

4/ Pack your bag for uni with your laptop and cables then at night un plug all the other chargers you’ll need and put them in your bag. (everything else you need should be packed in your big hold all by now) and set an early alarm.

The escape
1/ Get up as early as possible and get dressed leave the letter not he kitchen table or something and quietly leave the house so as not to wake your parents.

2/ Get to the translation and block your parents number on your phone (they will try emotional black mail and you don’t want to deal with that.).

Once you arrive

1/ Once you get to uni move in as soon as you can. Then go out an buy some food and anything you couldn’t feasibly take with you (probably heavy things like pot’s and pans).

2/ You say your parent’s won’t even let you dress how you want so once you’ve un packed go shopping for stuff you actually want to wear (Primark and TK maxx are good options for cheap clothes although there are obviously the shops like Holister.).

3/ Once you’ve don that give your parents a ring with the new sim card making sure to with hold your number telling them your safe if they try and make you come home “your mother is crying” “we are going to kill ourselves” hang up and put your original sim card back in your phone. It’s emotional blackmail and parents are very good at it.

4/ During all this time hopefully you’ll have met some of your flatmates if they have moved in if not wait they’ll be there soon keep your door open and you can say hi as they move in.

That is of course a last resort when nothing else has worked although the setup is probably good advice (steps 1 and 2) whatever happens.