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Moving into uni with separated parents

My parents split 2 years ago and have no contact with each other.

I’m moving into uni on the 15th and because I primarily live with my mum she is assuming we will do all the moving together. I’m totally fine with this but I know my dad wants to help to, but by the looks of things I only have an hour slot to move in on the 15th, and can’t come back with another parent the next day. FYI they will not see each other. At all.

Just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience?? And how did you deal with it? I know this should be something exciting but I’m absolutely dreading how it’s going to work out
Original post by lydska
My parents split 2 years ago and have no contact with each other.

I’m moving into uni on the 15th and because I primarily live with my mum she is assuming we will do all the moving together. I’m totally fine with this but I know my dad wants to help to, but by the looks of things I only have an hour slot to move in on the 15th, and can’t come back with another parent the next day. FYI they will not see each other. At all.

Just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience?? And how did you deal with it? I know this should be something exciting but I’m absolutely dreading how it’s going to work out

I don't know your personal circumstance but you could ask both parents whether they would be willing to do it together with you. It is your day and they should be able to work together for you,
Reply 2
Original post by Wired_1800
I don't know your personal circumstance but you could ask both parents whether they would be willing to do it together with you. It is your day and they should be able to work together for you,

Sadly really don’t think that’s an option, it was a very very messy break up and it’s still fresh. I wish it could be easier :/
Original post by lydska
Sadly really don’t think that’s an option, it was a very very messy break up and it’s still fresh. I wish it could be easier :/

You can true but no pressure. You can do it twice (i dont think)
Original post by lydska
My parents split 2 years ago and have no contact with each other.

I’m moving into uni on the 15th and because I primarily live with my mum she is assuming we will do all the moving together. I’m totally fine with this but I know my dad wants to help to, but by the looks of things I only have an hour slot to move in on the 15th, and can’t come back with another parent the next day. FYI they will not see each other. At all.

Just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience?? And how did you deal with it? I know this should be something exciting but I’m absolutely dreading how it’s going to work out


Hiya,

This is a tricky situation and it's understandable that you might be feeling a bit anxious about the situation. It's not uncommon for people to have divorced/ separated parents and to navigate situations like this moving into university.

Hear are some ideas to slightly ease the situation.

Open Communication: The most important thing is to communicate openly with both your parents. Let them know about the limited time slot and discuss their willingness to cooperate for your sake. Emphasise that you want them both to be a part of this important milestone in your life.
Separate Time Slots: If possible, try to arrange separate time slots for each parent. You can explain to the university staff that your parents are separated and would like to participate individually in your move-in process. Many universities understand and are accommodating of such situations. Sending an email explaining to your accommodation team and see what they can do to help.
Alternate Solutions: If separate time slots can't be arranged due to university restrictions, consider having one parent help with the initial move-in, and the other parent could perhaps participate in other activities like exploring the campus, having a meal nearby, or finding a way to be supportive without directly participating in the move-in.
Focus on Yourself: Remember that this is an exciting time for you, and it's important to focus on your own emotions and needs. While it's natural to consider your parents' feelings, prioritise your well-being during this transition.

Good luck with moving in!

-Beth (Lancaster Student Ambassador)
Reply 5
Original post by lydska
My parents split 2 years ago and have no contact with each other.

I’m moving into uni on the 15th and because I primarily live with my mum she is assuming we will do all the moving together. I’m totally fine with this but I know my dad wants to help to, but by the looks of things I only have an hour slot to move in on the 15th, and can’t come back with another parent the next day. FYI they will not see each other. At all.

Just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience?? And how did you deal with it? I know this should be something exciting but I’m absolutely dreading how it’s going to work out

Put yourself first in this instance - it is your move to uni, not theirs. As much as they both probably want to be involved if they also refuse to see eachother they have to accept that makes things difficult. When I moved my mum helped me actually move and my dad came down to visit a few days later to help me out with shopping for stuff I'd forgotten to bring. Maybe that could be a solution - mum does the move, dad comes to visit later to help you sort anything left to do? You might not get another move in slot but I assume there isn't a total ban on visitors.

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