Choosing between guys

Hi

Recently I've been liking two different guys which wasn't too much of a problem as I was convinced that nothing would ever happen as one doesn't live too near me and I only see him every couple of months and the other seemed to like another girl and was going through a rough patch so I assumed he wouldn't be looking for a relationship.

But within the last week and a bit, both have admitted they liked me either directly to me or to my best friend, who didn't know the situation as I'm quite a private person and was just going on how she'd seen me acting around this guy and apparently from something I'd inferred in a conversation (this is the one who lives close to us). This meant that she egged this guy on a lot before she talked to me about everything so he doesn't know the full situation either. She thinks he's going to make a move very soon but I still can't decide between the two.

So my question is, is it fair to decide between them when I know I'm still going to have strong feelings for the other, bearing in mind I'm really struggling to do this as I'm so comfortable with both of them and they both make me happier than I've been in a long time or is it best for me to just tell them both that I can't be with either of them as it's not fair on any of us?

Thanks

I think you will find it the worst to not date either of them. I also don't think that if you spend more time with both of them you will work out which one you like more - it will only make it harder to choose ! You should think/list what you like about each person and then work out who suits you better. You probably have a different idea of relationship for each so which do you want more?

I am sorry if this was completely unhelpful or comes across unclear !

I disagree with the spending more time making it harder to choose - I mean, isn't that how relationships work? You spend time with someone and your feelings for them get stronger, you maybe fall in love and have a long-term relationship. You don't necesserily get this with everyone you 'like' - sometimes the romantic feelings wane and the relationship never gets to long term.
Same principle should apply, except she's not dating them, but still getting to know them better.

I think you were right with the conclusion in your first post that you shouldn't date either - as you said, you'd still have strong feelings for the other. And anyway, I think when you find a guy that's right for you, it won't be so much of a 'choice' - he'll seem the only/best person to be with.
If you spend more time with both, you may find yourself feeling that way about one of them, and that would be the time to pursue it.

I agree completely. There is no rush here. The best relationships grow from friendship. Just see how it goes and you will know it in your heart which , if any, is for you.