millionaire boyfriend problems

Hello I have been dating a boy for a year and a half and we have a very good relationship...however he recently inherited £9500000 from his grandfather who passed away he received the money a few weeks ago but hasn't told me about it at all... I found out from his mother after a conversation with her and she let it slip... he still doesn't know that I know and has mother has told me not to tell him I know because she wasn't supposed to say anything...

He hasn't told anyone and has apparently put in an offer for a house worth 1.95 million and has been working with financial advisors to earn interest off the rest of the money and save it for the rest of his life ...

But apart from this he has appeared normal and is still very cautious with money as he always has been..spending nothing really per day...

Nobody knows about this apart from his immediate family...
And I can't say I know...
I guess what I'm trying to address is why he is hiding this from me...as we usually tell eachother everything... and we also had plans to marry next year at 21 as we love each other very much and it is also part of our tradition/religion but it was obviously a mutual personal choice... it was dependent on both of us having jobs and having decent cash flow though but I guess he doesn't need to worry about that anymore

I just don't get why he is hiding it I feel like he doesn't trust me

Reply 1

_SchmankleVet_

Isn't it obvious? He doesn't want you to stay with him for the money. He'll tell you when he knows that you are forever

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Reply 2

username1133173

12

Maybe he bought the house as a wedding present...

Reply 3

Clip

19

Yeah, I've done this one too.

I got a friend to tell a girl I was secretly a Prince from Oceania. You get amazing sex until she finds out, then you can't really use it again until new Freshers the year after.

Reply 4

GottaLovePhysics! :)

17

Original post by Clip

Yeah, I've done this one too.

I got a friend to tell a girl I was secretly a Prince from Oceania. You get amazing sex until she finds out, then you can't really use it again until new Freshers the year after.

Genius but I doubt the OP roped his mum in to help get him laid

Reply 5

Clip

19

Original post by GottaLovePhysics! :)

Genius but I doubt the OP roped his mum in to help get him laid

I suppose it could be done. Find a mature student to pose as your parent.

Reply 6

YThursday

11

Original post by Clip

Yeah, I've done this one too.

I got a friend to tell a girl I was secretly a Prince from Oceania. You get amazing sex until she finds out, then you can't really use it again until new Freshers the year after.

They've been dating for a year and a half...

Reply 7

Clip

19

Original post by YThursday

They've been dating for a year and a half...

I have a thousand replies to that, but they are all what the moderators would term "spam".

On point - I would treat this situation with caution. Learning about probate second hand is a bit of a minefield.

Reply 8

sugar-n-spice

1

Why do you care? That's hardly an actual problem.

Reply 9

tehFrance

17

Original post by Anonymous

I just don't get why he is hiding it I feel like he doesn't trust me

How is it not obvious that for him this is a highly personal situation and that she shouldn't have to share is financial details with the woman he's dating for the fear that you'd stay with him for the money which now you know about it, you most likely will.

Reply 10

scrotgrot

16

I have been with my girlfriend for two years and when my grandma died last year, she left me a small inheritance (certainly compared to his!!) My family told me specifically not to tell anyone else about it including my girlfriend - not due to any particular suspicion of her but just that it's none of anyone's business what money someone comes into or earns at their job. That is fair enough and in such a situation you would have to do what the family want. You cannot be too careful with your money. The era of the joint account and joint mortgage is long past.

Now, of course, I have more or less let my girlfriend know about it, but haven't told her the exact amount and haven't made a big song and dance about it.

Certainly after only a few weeks he is still sorting out what to do with the money himself and adjusting to vastly altered perceptions of his own future. He shouldn't be browbeaten for not telling you - it's not like he could have intended to keep it from you for life.

Also I would hope you wouldn't stay with him for the money or anything, or attempt to get it spent on yourself. If that's the case then how much he has shouldn't affect you in the slightest!

It's just being grown-up and realistic and seeing your relationship in the wider/long-term context. At the risk of offending you I do think girls set too much store by their relationship and lose their sense of perspective.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 11

CraigKirk

14

Original post by Anonymous

Hello I have been dating a boy for a year and a half and we have a very good relationship...however he recently inherited £9500000 from his grandfather who passed away he received the money a few weeks ago but hasn't told me about it at all... I found out from his mother after a conversation with her and she let it slip... he still doesn't know that I know and has mother has told me not to tell him I know because she wasn't supposed to say anything...

He hasn't told anyone and has apparently put in an offer for a house worth 1.95 million and has been working with financial advisors to earn interest off the rest of the money and save it for the rest of his life ...

But apart from this he has appeared normal and is still very cautious with money as he always has been..spending nothing really per day...

Nobody knows about this apart from his immediate family...
And I can't say I know...
I guess what I'm trying to address is why he is hiding this from me...as we usually tell eachother everything... and we also had plans to marry next year at 21 as we love each other very much and it is also part of our tradition/religion but it was obviously a mutual personal choice... it was dependent on both of us having jobs and having decent cash flow though but I guess he doesn't need to worry about that anymore

I just don't get why he is hiding it I feel like he doesn't trust me

If this is true, he probably hasn't told you because he wants to keep as low profile as possible, along with the reason suggested in the first reply. I know that in his situation, I'd only tell family since they're the most trustworthy people in your life (or so I think of my own parents, this guy's mum isn't so trustworthy, although it could really have been an innocent slip in conversation). It this sense, it's for safety more than anything.

I wouldn't be overly concerned that he doesn't trust you. I've been in a relationship for about the same length of time (around 17-18 months), but if something like this happened to me then I certainly wouldn't tell my boyfriend. It's not that I don't trust him particularly, but I trust others (my family, who've been with me my whole life) more. He sounds like he's got his head in the right place, keeping it saved and getting a nice house. To keep any upset to a minimum, I'd keep it to yourself. Bring it up to him and you might damage his trust with his mum.

Reply 12

sugar-n-spice

1

Original post by Frankster

Cos she feels she isn't trustworthy enough, even at this stage of their relationship, that he can't tell her about it.

Jeez man, that's some gay-assed white knighting, the way you as a man justify women emotionally blackmailing their boyfriends with that if he doesn't say he doesn't trust crap. There are loads of perfectly legitimate reasons he wouldn't, maybe he wants to make sure she actually loves him for the right reasons, he might need time to come to terms with the whole thing and decide what he will do with the money so it's safe for them both.

Reply 13

_anyawalsh

11

Original post by _SchmankleVet_

Isn't it obvious? He doesn't want you to stay with him for the money. He'll tell you when he knows that you are forever

Posted from TSR Mobile

but they've talked about getting married next year, as far as I know when you plan to get mardied you also plan to be with that person forever?

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 14

1219269

3

As a guy myself i can tell you that he is probably VERY sensible about it. He doesn't want you/ other people to judge him and (no offence intended) wouldn't want you to stick with him if you relationship took a turn for the worse just because of his bank account. (No offence intended I stress!!!) but he probably thought it was best for both of you :smile:

best of luck

Posted from TSR Mobile

OP, you're lucky.

Original post by Clip

Yeah, I've done this one too.

I got a friend to tell a girl I was secretly a Prince from Oceania. You get amazing sex until she finds out, then you can't really use it again until new Freshers the year after.