How young can you go ?

I have a friend at school who does enjoy getting "friendly" with yr9 girls now we are in 6th form and he gets quite a bit of harmless stick about it and a bit of criticism.
I am kind of interested in a yr 9 girl but it's a little complicated and i think we are both a bit confused.

What i was wondering is that is it considered socially acceptable ? Most seem to think that a 2 year difference is the supposed "benchmark".

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

In the delicate teen years, 3 years is a hell of a lot. Its not worth the 'paedo' taunting you would get.

Reply 2

Bluelight

13

year 9 thats really too young, if you're in lower 6th i'd even say yr 10 was pushing it. Surely you can get someone closer your age with all the girls in yrs 13 12 11 and 10!

Reply 3

Hullabaloo

1

I think seeing as the girl would be about 13 and you must be about 17, the difference could be seen as dodgy.

Reply 4

Lush Law

15

I've just turned 19 [first year of uni, left school last year] and I don't think I could bring myself to get with anyone younger than about 17/18. I just couldn't do it. It would feel wrong.

Reply 5

Tw!stEd

2

Yup, I've been in a similar posistion of being attracted to yr 10 girls when i was 17/18 n was like no, don't go there to myself....
I wouldn't go for anyone less then yr 12....

Reply 6

sleepy_person!

when you say you are 'now in sixthform' does that mean you literally just started a few weeks ago (the year 11s in my school are now considered yr 12s, the year 12s are year 13, and well us year 13s have just slipped out of existence!) cus that would mean you're only 15/16 and it's maybe not too too bad, but I still think it's kinda weird. After all, most 13 yr old girls are only just entering puberty, probs about three 2 thirds of them don't even have their period, in sixthform you are vastly more emotionally and pysically mature.
The older you get, the less significant the age difference, however, in your teenage years, even a 2 year age gap can be a huuuggee difference

Reply 7

amie

14

RR

I've just turned 19 [first year of uni, left school last year] and I don't think I could bring myself to get with anyone younger than about 17/18. I just couldn't do it. It would feel wrong.

Same here. Personally I can't imagine going out with a younger guy anyway, and I never have. But my boyfriend (obviously!) is a year and a half older than me and at the moment, that difference feels like enough. It was weird when he was at uni and I was still at school, we were at different stages in our lives so it felt like we couldn't relate as well as usual.

I can't imagine having a relationship with someone whose lifestyle is so different to my own.

Reply 8

chewitt_hemel

OP

I am coming towards the end of year 12 and i know what people would say but when you get on really well with somebody it's incredibly hard to ignore any feelings....at least if anything did come about she's not in my school so maybe it could be hidden.

Reply 9

saturn

RR

I've just turned 19 [first year of uni, left school last year] and I don't think I could bring myself to get with anyone younger than about 17/18. I just couldn't do it. It would feel wrong.

What if she was your age but looked about 14 though? Would that feel wrong as I know someone in this situation. Or is it a different matter?

To the OP Id say 4 years is a massive gap in teen years can't you just be friends.

Reply 10

sleepy_person!

towards the end of year 12 you're gonna be 18 soon... and thinking about uni/job etc, she's only just gonna be starting her GCSEs, you've just finished the first year of your A levels, she's just finished her SATS. I know education isn't particularly relavent to a relationship, it's just to put into context the different stages of your life! I just think the difference is way too big, sorry.
Also, say her parents found out and decided to take legal action, you wouldn't look to good as an 18 year old going out with a fourteen year old. I think back to what I was like in year 9, the difference is massive.
She probably is mature for age for you to see something so special in her, but at the end of the day, she really is still a child!

Reply 11

Unregistered

erm.. 16 is the legal age for a reason. Anyone under that age is not mature enough, I dont even think 16 is old enough, you can't feel love the same way so sex isn't going to be the way it ought to be. Don't have sex with a 14 year old girl, it's just wrong.

Reply 12

Unregistered

..plus it's statutory rape

Reply 13

sleepy_person!

saturn

What if she was your age but looked about 14 though? Would that feel wrong as I know someone in this situation. Or is it a different matter?

It's not as bad, they've still been through the same life experiences/ still are as emotionally mature, so in terms of a relationship that wouldn't really matter, just matters if the person can get around it in their own head, just have to remember they're not fourteen! :smile:

On a different a slightly different note.. what do people think of a 18 year old and a 23 year old, is the difference there still too significant for a relationship?

Reply 14

db

17

RR

I've just turned 19 [first year of uni, left school last year] and I don't think I could bring myself to get with anyone younger than about 17/18. I just couldn't do it. It would feel wrong.

I don't think I could even go with somone my age, in special circumstances I would go a to maybe 17/18, I'd probably feel irrationally weird about it though :s:

Reply 15

chewitt_hemel

OP

Timeslikethese, is your life really THAT sad that is always comes down to sex ? Who said anything about sex with her ?

I wouldn't want to and the girl has a decent amount of self respect not to just have sex like that .

Reply 16

Unregistered

chewitt_hemel

Timeslikethese, is your life really THAT sad that is always comes down to sex ? Who said anything about sex with her ?

I wouldn't want to and the girl has a decent amount of self respect not to just have sex like that .

Erm, being in a relationship with the opposite sex always has sexual motivations - why else go out with her? Stay friends if it's not.

Reply 17

Lush Law

15

devilbunny

I don't think I could even go with somone my age, in special circumstances I would go a to maybe 17/18, I'd probably feel irrationally weird about it though :s:

I like guys my age to be honest but older is cool too. Early 20s is nice :smile:

Reply 18

amie

14

chewitt_hemel

Timeslikethese, is your life really THAT sad that is always comes down to sex ? Who said anything about sex with her ?

I wouldn't want to and the girl has a decent amount of self respect not to just have sex like that .

But, hypothetically speaking, if the relationship got serious you might want to - it's a natural part of relationships. And she might still only be 15 at that point.

Reply 19

bunthulhu

14

Yuck, my boyfriend left me for a year 9 when we were both at the end of Year 12. It wouldn't have been so awful but I know that a lot of their chemistry was sexual. Apparently she lied about her age though. Still, yuck. We're back together now but I gave him some serious grief when I found out how young she was!

I'd go for someone older anyway, if I were you. I was a bit of an idiot in year 9, didn't really know what I wanted and I've changed a hell of a lot since then, I have more stable relationships as a result.

How young can you go ?

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