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How to deal with a breakup?

recently I broke up with my boyfriend for 3 years. we broke up because he's at uni so we didn't have the time to see/talk to each other, so it was 'unhealthy' to stay together. we had been talking about it for some time before and it was a mutual agreement to breakup. he told me he DID still love me, and thats why he suggested that we did actually end it because he didn't want me to be sad from missing him/not being able to talk to him. he treated me amazingly and he had no huge flaws which I could use to motivate me to move on. What makes it hard is knowing he still loves me but we're forcing ourselves to fall out of love. How do I get over him? and where do i get the motivation from?

Reply 1

Reeeeyah

Eat lots of food, stuff like chocolate and KFC, then get on the wine and have a good cry about it all.

You'll be fine.

Reply 2

joker12345

If you're so in love, why on earth did you break up? Plenty of people have uni LDRs.

Reply 3

geekgal

Original post by joker12345

If you're so in love, why on earth did you break up? Plenty of people have uni LDRs.

because the lack of time put a lot of strain onto our relationship. we could barely even text, let alone see each other. I wouldn't have seen him for another year and a half, and by then I will be at uni too... our relationship wasn't going anywhere. it just felt silly to carry on when the situation was wrong. It kinda seemed like we were keeping it going for the sake of it :ashamed2:

Reply 4

Quiet _One86

I'd leave the door open, and for that said maybe if you still love each other then from there review after you've finished at university. For now focus on the studies, and remain friends if that's possible. Keep level headed, and know that you both love each other, and that you can see each other in school breaks, and if you feel you both can wait till after university to see where you're both at.

Reply 5

royal1990

Although my previous relationship wasn't as long as yours (mine being a year and a half or so), I certainly can still relate to your issue. It is hard trying to move on from someone you once loved/or in fact still do love. You cannot just switch off your emotions/feelings, but the fact remains, that you have to try and 'distract' yourself. I am a huge hypocrite for saying this, because even I find it hard, and even try my best not to distract and actually do the opposite in some instances.

I'm sorry my advice isn't largely practical, but I live with that little glimmer of hope, that it may shine more light on your issue and make you feel just that little bit happier! :smile:

My immediate advice would be to try and actively distract yourself, maybe read, or study or go out with friends. Other than this, I don't think there is any short-term fix to the issue. What is more important is 'riding out the storm' so to speak, and actually letting yourself process the emotions in a healthy way. It may be tempting for you to contact him, but this may do you more bad than good, and you don't want to be ruminating about him also because this will only lead you down a more destructive path.

Hope this helped :smile:

Reply 6

joker12345