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Confused about sexuality

I'm a 17 year old girl, and I've had boyfriends in the past, however only had a strong emotional connection with one. Lately, I find myself looking at girls more often than boys and thinking they're physically attractive. As well as this, with my more recent relationships I've started to feel awkward about any form of intimacy and opening up emotionally to boys. Although I've never been with a girl, so I cannot say whether I just feel uncomfortable in relationships in general, I feel that females are often easier to open up to emotionally than males. I would just really like to know how any of you realised your sexuality and came to terms with it. Also, I feel rather uncomfortable talking about this subject so it would be great if people wouldn't leave any rude/sarcastic comments below, thanks :smile:

Reply 1

Treeroy

I was always attracted to boys, though I refused to admit it. I found myself really turned on by boys but not by girls. But, because of my inner fear of being gay, I didn't allow myself to think about having relationships with them, and because of that, I thought I couldn't possibly be gay because I don't want a boyfriend. However, once I opened up to myself about being sexually attracted to boys, I also found myself able to think about them in an emotional/romantic way :smile:

You said you feel you can open up to girls more, that may just be as friends. I find girls way better friends than boys in this respect, but that doesn't mean I want a relationship with them :tongue:

I think it's more of a "Do I want to have a girlfriend?" than "Can I open up to girls more than boys?".

For me, it took several years to come to terms with my sexuality - and many more years for others - so don't expect to be able to figure yourself out in an instant. That said, if you want someone to talk to about it, then feel free to PM me - I definitely regret not talking to anyone about it and leaving it to myself, I don't think that helped.

Reply 2

scannergirl

I consider sexuality to be on a sliding scale, rather than distinct categories. I identify as straight, but there are girls I will look at and think are really hot ('girl crush') - a lot of my friends are the same. I did wonder about my sexuality for a long while (exacerbated by huge trust/fear issues around guys) until I came to this conclusion, and it can be quite a lonely place to be in. I would definitely talk to someone x

Reply 3

Lotus_Eater

To come to terms with my sexuality (I'm a bi male), I basically needed to try relationships with men and women. It was a gradual process where I felt many different things at many different times. Eventually I came out as bi to my catholic parents and since then I've only been with two women proving... I'm not sure, except it probably wasn't worth all the agonising and I should have just gone with the flow.

If it's any reassurance, I couldn't have given you a definitive answer about my sexuality when I was your age. If you've only dated 16/17 year old boys, that might not give you the most positive insight into what relationships with men are like. You may just crave someone with a bit of maturity, rather than someone with a uterus. On the other hand, it's fine to experiment so if the opportunity occurs then date a woman and see what happens.

Reply 4

Treeroy

Original post by Lotus_Eater

If you've only dated 16/17 year old boys, that might not give you the most positive insight into what relationships with men are like.

Yea but you can still figure out what you're into.

Original post by scannergirl

Yes, it is on a scale, but that's not mutually exclusive from categorisation. The scale goes from straight on one side to gay on the other, with everything else in the middle, being bisexual, whether it's mostly straight but somewhat gay, or half and half, or whatever. :tongue: