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my best friend is sexually attracted to me

this is anonymous. because i'm almost certain my friend uses this site.

i've (f20) been in a relationship with my partner (m23) on and off for almost two years. my best friend is also female and recently i've found out she's sexually attracted to me. (i'm asexual. my partner isn't but he's very respectful and we navigate our weird and wonderful relationship together)

my best friend is not respectful of me, my sexuality and my relationship. she keeps kissing my shoulder blade where a rather large scar sits and my neck. i dont like people touching my neck in general. and i've told my friend this many times but she won't understand, i think it's going to cost my relationship. she keeps saying its a joke but it makes me highly grossed out. she says i'm homophobic - she came out a few years ago as Lesbian.

i want to state for the record: i dont care she's a lesbian, i care that she's kind of sexually assaulting me and trying to "turn me" or something. she has some weird fantasy she can fix my asexuality.

my boyfriend says if she doesn't stop, he'll leave me. i really don't know how to deal with this. how do i navigate this? do i call the police? do i tell our professors at college. someone please help me

and before you think of posting any hateful messages, please stop and think about what you write. i'm sat here literally shaking because i have a class in three hours with this girl.

i'd rather pluck my eyeballs out than see her or be around her right now
Original post by Anonymous
this is anonymous. because i'm almost certain my friend uses this site.

i've (f20) been in a relationship with my partner (m23) on and off for almost two years. my best friend is also female and recently i've found out she's sexually attracted to me. (i'm asexual. my partner isn't but he's very respectful and we navigate our weird and wonderful relationship together)

my best friend is not respectful of me, my sexuality and my relationship. she keeps kissing my shoulder blade where a rather large scar sits and my neck. i dont like people touching my neck in general. and i've told my friend this many times but she won't understand, i think it's going to cost my relationship. she keeps saying its a joke but it makes me highly grossed out. she says i'm homophobic - she came out a few years ago as Lesbian.

i want to state for the record: i dont care she's a lesbian, i care that she's kind of sexually assaulting me and trying to "turn me" or something. she has some weird fantasy she can fix my asexuality.

my boyfriend says if she doesn't stop, he'll leave me. i really don't know how to deal with this. how do i navigate this? do i call the police? do i tell our professors at college. someone please help me

and before you think of posting any hateful messages, please stop and think about what you write. i'm sat here literally shaking because i have a class in three hours with this girl.

i'd rather pluck my eyeballs out than see her or be around her right now

I'm confused. If you're worried about her identifying you, why are you giving out details such as your ages, and a fairly unusual scar and her behaviour towards it?
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
this is anonymous. because i'm almost certain my friend uses this site.

i've (f20) been in a relationship with my partner (m23) on and off for almost two years. my best friend is also female and recently i've found out she's sexually attracted to me. (i'm asexual. my partner isn't but he's very respectful and we navigate our weird and wonderful relationship together)

my best friend is not respectful of me, my sexuality and my relationship. she keeps kissing my shoulder blade where a rather large scar sits and my neck. i dont like people touching my neck in general. and i've told my friend this many times but she won't understand, i think it's going to cost my relationship. she keeps saying its a joke but it makes me highly grossed out. she says i'm homophobic - she came out a few years ago as Lesbian.

i want to state for the record: i dont care she's a lesbian, i care that she's kind of sexually assaulting me and trying to "turn me" or something. she has some weird fantasy she can fix my asexuality.

my boyfriend says if she doesn't stop, he'll leave me. i really don't know how to deal with this. how do i navigate this? do i call the police? do i tell our professors at college. someone please help me

and before you think of posting any hateful messages, please stop and think about what you write. i'm sat here literally shaking because i have a class in three hours with this girl.

i'd rather pluck my eyeballs out than see her or be around her right now


Hiya~

First of all, if I were in your shoes, I would feel naturally disgusted and just in general irked out.

From an outsider perspective, from what you said, I think it’s the best choice to let her go. She’s not a best friend to you. Best friends don’t do that sh*t, whatsoever. Sure they might be weird, but understanding boundaries is one of the key points of being a good friend. This might sting, but it might be that she only really hangs with you solely for that sexual aspect she likes.

This might be another kicker for you: your boyfriend might not be the best for you, either. If he was really a good bf, wouldn’t he understand that you’re not into that girl? Do both of you talk about her being overly touchy and creepy? If not, it’s worth an awkward convo to let him know. If he’s still not listening to your side, then end it, girl.
The longer you deliberate and drag these emotions out, the more painful they are when you finally decide to let it go.

In terms of how to formally navigate it, I’d contact your counselling office or a trusted professor. Especially tell the professor with whose class you share a class with the girl.

These are based on what I’d do in your situation, even if what needs to be done is mentally painful and hard to do. But I’d stick by my words that doing them now saves you the immenser pain in the future.

I wish you good luck

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