Girlfriend says it's too intense

Long story short, whenever me and my girlfriend do anything sexual (Giving her oral etc ) she always asks me to stop because it's too intense, she also said that she's never had an orgasm.
I'm just trying to work out if this intense feeling is the orgasm coming or?
If anyone could shed any light on this :confused:

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Hi OP. I think it probably is those feelings building up...it might not be at orgasm point but maybe she is starting to feel excited. I would maybe try speaking to her to ask her whether she doesn't want to continue. Does it feel unpleasant or maybe she doesn't like the thought of losing control...Either way, I'm sure you both would quite like her to get to orgasm, even if it's only so she has that experience and knows what it's like. Depending on why she's asking you to stop, there are different things you could both try to get past this :smile:

Maybe she's nervous about what could happen to her body next, perhaps she just needs reassurance that however she reacts, you'll be okay with it! Some communication is in order I think...

Reply 2

damaholmen

It is perfectly okay and 'normal' to find that sex can be way too intense, either emotionally or physically. Sex is not always simply 'fun' or a form of recreation. It can sometimes be earthshaking, overwhelmingly intimate and even excruciating - we seem to have lost that feeling in our overly sexualized world. I know for a fact that some women cannot orgasm without at least some romantic feelings, the possibility of longer-term companionship, or at least a deep, meaningful friendship. For some of us trust and monogamous intimacy are still important, and we woukd rather opt out of sex completely than risk humiliation or heartbreak. What happened to the idea than sex can really, really special? The risks of disappointment, pregnancy and abandonment often (but not always) fall on women. Not wanting screaming, rip-roaring climaxes all the time is not pathological! We're all different. We can have healthy sexual boundaries. It's not a competiton. It's okay not to want the same level of intensity as a partner - and it's okay not to be able to put complex emotions into words right away!