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imso: I'm worried about starting university and people judging me on my looks

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Men generally aren't attracted to other men so don't need to judge them on attractiveness.

It would be a great world if everybody was attracted to each other and if they looked at people via their personalities rather than their looks first but sadly it's not the case.

Same with girls but we all judge each other and pay fake compliments as well.

Reply 121

im so academic

Original post by anonymouspie227

Lol is this Birkenhead's dupe account?

"Never have a chance with" OP, you need to have more self love. If someone doesn't like you for who you are then their loss; if they judge you on your looks then they're perhaps not the kind of people that you should associate yourself with. I mean, who judges people on their looks alone? Okay, maybe modelling agencies, but you're not auditioning for that, you're going to uni.

Anyway, stop worrying and fake confidence. I find irl people like confidence.

That's good, I'm great at fake confidence.

The thing is if someone I like doesn't like me it's not their loss, it's mine. :sad:

Quite a few people do judge on looks alone unfortunately.

Reply 122

Birkenhead

Original post by anonymouspie227

Lol is this Birkenhead's dupe account?

? Just came across this, can confirm not, but I admire the subtlety of the implication that the only person who would compliment me would be myself.

Reply 123

SebCross

Imso: How's Durham progressing? Are you enjoying it?

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Reply 124

SebCross

Imso: PM me? We should catch-up. But I empathise with your position completely because I've experienced a lot of this kind of thing myself, actually. And you're right, it is pretty tough to deal with. Things will get better, though: not everyone judges people solely or predominantly by looks. Or at least I certainly don't.

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Reply 125

SebCross

Can totally agree here - I've recently had to withdraw from one of the better Russell Group universities (I shan't say which one), and although I met some lovely people, for sure, others were very archetypal sociopathic 'Oxbridge reject'....(Very sad, very sad.)

And the girls were very very 'knives out' sometimes, too - have you have experience of this kind of thing over at Durham, Imso?

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Reply 126

ImNotMe

Original post by im so academic

You probably do.

Not all guys think this way. I know I don't, there is more to a person than physical appearance. Its just sad that society has turned out this way really, be confident no matter what people think, how appearance is judged is very subjective, don't worry about it.

I mean imagine if Megan Fox suddenly woke up looking like Chewbaca (God forbid) imagine how many guys will go eww and treat her like a monster or something...even though its the same person inside.

I know its a cliche, but its true...its whats on the inside that counts! Good looks fade with age anyway.

I would say try to be as healthy as possible, plenty of exercise, can improve skin and also boost confidence and self-esteem :smile:

Reply 127

SebCross

Good looks don't necessarily fade with age....Harrison Ford isn't young anymore and yet he's still a reasonably handsome man, I'd venture to suggest (although I'd be interested to see what girls think).

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Reply 128

Elf.

Original post by im so academic

That's good, I'm great at fake confidence.

The thing is if someone I like doesn't like me it's not their loss, it's mine. :sad:

Quite a few people do judge on looks alone unfortunately.

I do honestly think confidence and a fun personality make someone attractive. More so than a 'hot' person who is boring and self centred.
Like someone else has said why would you want to associate with people who make conclusions about personality based on appearance?
I'm sure you will have a great time at uni :smile:

Reply 129

Guy Secretan

Men still judge on looks it isn't really to do with attraction. Most people judge on looks to some degree if someone is tall, better looking, slim people have more respect for them and intrinsically view them as higher social status. IMSO how ugly actually are you out of 10 also what celebrity is on a par with you looks wise?

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 130

SebCross

I'm not really sure that trying to compare or equate her looks to a celebrity is especially helpful; instead, she ought to try to focus on hanging out with people who appreciate her for who she is overall as a person and not judge her simply by the way she looks.

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Reply 131

aha1

it's a natural thing to judge someone based on their appearance as it is the first thing you see. however, if you are faced with someone who judges you purely based on the way you look they are definitely not worth your time so just try to find genuine people i guess

Reply 132

SebCross

To some extent, to some extent...Ultimately, people should be judged on who they are as people (the 'content of their character', as Dr King said). Looks really ought to only play a minority part in the ways in which people judge one another (yes, I realise perhaps this sounds overly-optimistic and naive), and it makes me very sad that most of the time this doesn't occur...(As OP says.)

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Reply 133

plasmaman

Original post by Alex347_

If I see a girl who's ugly, I just think "she's unattractive" and move on to thinking something different. I don't judge or make assumptions on their character from it. The only time I do that, is if somebody looks chavy or common, or has some aesthetic feature that assigns them to an unfavourable social group or class.

like an upturned nose?

Reply 134

slade p

show a picture of yourself or your just trolling.

Reply 135

Rakas21

You overestimate men.

Simply by virtue of having a vagina you will have countless men willing to have sex with you and countless more inferior enough to go out with you with no regard for your looks or personality.

I highly doubt your that ugly though, and if you are then get the gym and get the perfect body.