Can you be just friends with a girl you have feelings for? (updated)

THE THING IS, yesterday I asked her, if she wants to come and see me..
and she said yes I promise I do..

Explain this...

Was that a respinse to my lat comment? or?

Only she can really explain it but she could have meant several things by that, the first one that springs to mind is that she wants to see you because you're her friend but she might not think it is a good idea because you have feelings for her..and you get angry at her.

Oh no I didn't submit my reply to you yet :/

Well, I just messaged her and clarified it.

I asked her why she promised me yesterday that she wants to come and see me. She said oh that promise was for yesterday not today.
Like wtf?? :/
Anyway then I said you promised me so what happened?

Then she says oh "I don't feel like going out it should be coz its far u know.. u can't force someone..just say ok"

I just replied "Ok then"

Then she says "I don't know why for u its very important?"

I said: "Why it's important? Because friends don't lie like that. U said u will come and then u didn't. Leave it. I won't ask again."

Then she says: "Lie? Yesterday I wanted.. not today. I am like a kid"

I said: "Ok. I am far today as i was 5 months ago. So now suddenly its too far? all summer i will come. i will come. wasn't it far then? And no, I'm not the kid. you're the one sting like a child."

The she says:

"(my name) ok we are friends so be careful and what u saying. if u r angry, don't like. yh I'm like a kid. so don't talk"

Then i replied:

"Glad you admit it. bye."

What do you make of that?

I spoke nothing but the truth.

Okay, I'll be honest I barely even understood that conversation. Are you a non English speaker? because it seemed that way. I really didn't even understand what the argument was about near the end.

Lol no sorry about that, i was just typing really quickly. I speak english very well haha I got AA for english a levels haha.

What didn't you understand?

Was she calling you a kid or herself a kid? Or where you calling her a kid?

She was calling me a kid.

Not sure why. What did I do wrong? Believe her? Be there for her? Help her?
Sounds like I am a very bad person.

Well you were hassling her and guilt tripping her for not coming to see you, perhaps she shouldn't have promised but even still it is within her right to not want to come see you or talk to you all the time or even leave the house at all.

I often go through episodes where I just find myself unable to talk to people or even go out the house, if anybody started having a go at me when I was having one of these episodes I would cut them out of my life immediately.

She has no obligations to you, you aren't her boyfriend

Well you were hassling her and guilt tripping her for not coming to see you, perhaps she shouldn't have promised but even still it is within her right to not want to come see you or talk to you all the time or even leave the house at all.

I often go through episodes where I just find myself unable to talk to people or even go out the house, if anybody started having a go at me when I was having one of these episodes I would cut them out of my life immediately.

She has no obligations to you, you aren't her boyfriend

Anyway, how do you think I should proceed here? In uni, if and when she messages me, etc. I will try and distance myself of course. But other than that, any advice?

Other than trying to distance yourself from her I think you need to work on yourself, and who you are as a person and how you yourself can become a better person, because I'm sorry to say it but from the things you've written you seem like you may have some internal anger issues, resentment and you expect things from other people unfairly.

It may sound stupid the whole "focus on you, work on you" thing but honestly it helps. I did it after I broke up with my ex (though for entirely different reasons). I'm a much happier person now, I don't get angry at people anymore, I don't blame other people for thing ect ect.

It may sound like I am attacking you but I'm honestly just trying to be honest while giving advice.

Hmm yeah you are right. I will do that. One thing I will change about myself is to no expect anything from anyone. I don't have anger issues, it's just that I get worked up over anything with her, it's because I really like her a lot and care about her. I'm always open to honest, constructive advice so thanks. All good.

1) Won't expect things from people
2) Won't get worked up over small things
3) Focus on myself
4) Not go out of my way to help her with everything
5) Make other friends and just try and get rid of my feelings for her.

Sound about right?

Oh no I didn't submit my reply to you yet :/

Well, I just messaged her and clarified it.

I asked her why she promised me yesterday that she wants to come and see me. She said oh that promise was for yesterday not today.
(I'm thinking like wtf?? :/)
Anyway then I said "you promised me so what happened?"

Then she says oh "I don't feel like going out it should be coz its far u know.. u can't force someone..just say ok"

I just replied "Ok then"

Then she says "I don't know why for u its very important?"

I said: "Why it's important? Because friends don't lie like that. U said u will come and then u didn't. Leave it. I won't ask again."

Then she says: "Lie? Yesterday I wanted.. not today. I am like a kid"

I said: "Ok. I am far today as i was 5 months ago. So now suddenly its too far? all summer u say i will come. i will come. wasn't it far then? And no, I'm not the kid. you're the one sting like a child."

The she says:

"(my name) ok we are friends so be careful and what u saying. if u r angry, don't like. yh I'm like a kid. so don't talk"

Then i replied:

"Glad you admit it. bye."

What do you make of that?

I spoke nothing but the truth.

For number 1 sometimes it is okay to expect things from people, like you'd expect a partner to be there for you, some friends (I do not include this girl in that though as it is obviously complicated and from what I've heard the friendship doesn't seem all that healthy to be honest)

Number 3 definitely don't go out of your way to help her, as it'll just cause you problems and you'll start getting annoyed at her again (and I think to be honest it's quite clear your annoyance towards her probably stems although maybe not directly you might not realise it but from her unrequited feelings for you)

Sounds about right yeah.

Ok I got it. Yeah I think that does make sense in a way lol.
Thanks for your input. Much appreciated.

I think you should find a girl with better diction.

I wouldn't give her the time of the day. Flakey people aren't worth it tbh and are just annoying to be friends with.

She has no obligation to meet you but if someone did that to me I wouldn't even bother with them anymore, maybe it's about time you stopped.