Should I do anything?

It doesn't sound to me like you've done anything wrong. The ball was in her court, and from what you've heard she is genuinely conflicted as to whether to go back to you. From your perspective her inaction is making the decision for her, and whilst it's entirely understandable for you to feel that way, that may well not be her intention. It sounds like she's just really struggling to decide.

You obviously like her, and it sounds like for good reason. As you say, the flatmate thing may be an issue, but it isn't yet. If I were you I would message her again. She may not be thrilled that it's got round to you that she is struggling to choose, so it's up to you to what extent you tell her that you're aware of that, but the one thing that you may want to mention is her fear of leading you on, which is the thing that seems to be stopping her going on another date with you. So perhaps a quick message just saying that the offer is still open to go on another date if she wants to, that you had a great time last time and would like to see her again, and then maybe something about hearing that she doesn't want to lead you on, and that she doesn't need to worry about that and you're happy to take things one step at a time. Something along those lines. Then you can leave it her one way or the other.

I wouldn't say this girl ghosted you. It seems to me like she was still thinking about how she wanted to reply. That uncertainty doesn't translate well, admittedly.

I'd say go for it. Also, let her know her friend approached you with information about her. She may get angry if she finds that out from one of you further down the line.

Thank you for your response to a long post. I just wanted to add a couple of things to see if it would impact your advice. I texted her on a Sunday/Monday, we were at the club on Wednesday and its now the following Monday with no response so she isn't still deciding. Could also be that leaving it so long has made it too awkward for her to respond. I fear my lack of doing anything when she was right next to me or kissing someone else further cements that - not to say it annoyed her but rather suggested that I no longer want anything to do with her which is untrue.

Just wanted to reframe it from her "deciding what to do" to now having fully ghosted. I mean its been a week lol. I'll take texting her into account though, I'm not sure it'll come across as anything other than clingy as we're quite young and not the most mature of people though.

Doesn't change my advice. The fact that it's been a few days since the club may well mean that she's made a decision, but as you say, it may also be that she's got into her own head and thinks it would be too awkward now. The reality is that most people worry about how people are interpreting their actions, which ironically means that most people's fears in that regard are unfounded because most people are thinking about themselves. Your post is a great example of that, because you're worrying about what she thought about your actions when you know that she was talking to a friend the same night and was conflicted about the decision she is making, not wanting to lead you on and so on. There's a good chance that you're both worried about what the other is thinking, and a message from you could just be what's needed to get things going again. Even if it isn't, at least you'll know one way or the other.

On a side note, I just thought it was worth saying that some of the things you've written here show quite a lot of insight, maturity and empathy for someone who is (relatively) young. It's in stark contrast to a lot of people who make threads on here. Whether it's with this girl or not, that does bode really well going forwards as and when you do get into a long term relationship again.

, I went to the club again the following week, she knew I would be there and I saw her there speaking to a girl I know. I went to dance on the main floor and was really surprised to find her and her friend end up dancing *right* next to, and behind, me and my friends for like an hour straight.

Did your parents teach you no manners?

You had a great time with this girl. And the first time you saw her after that you didn't go up to her with an enthusiastic "Cressiddaaaaaa!" (or whatever her name is)?

How rude was that? To blank her.

Regardless of any lack of phone messaging, the polite and proper thing to do was to greet her as soon as you saw her again.

It sounds like you're both at the same uni. And you both go to the same sort of social events. So you don't need to arrange a date with her. A simple "See you at (name of venue) some time" is good enough. And then you look to incorporate her and her friends into your social circle. Whilst taking the lead in escalating things with her in a calibrated way. If she becomes your sexual partner: fine. If she just becomes a part of your social circle: fine. If she's in your social circle and then drops out of it: that's fine too.

A big friendly positive spotaneious greeting as soon as you saw her again would have left her feeling comfortable. Followed by a "Hi" to all the friends she was with.

Blanking her and pretending that you didn't know her was rude on your part and will have left her with a less good impression of you.

In these situations, never let someone else's lack of manners be an excuse for a lack of good manners from you.

okay, going forward if I see her and we make eye contact I will do so. We didn't make eye contact on that night and I didn't feel like just going up to her and saying hi given she's ghosted me. I didn't really blank her, I was just aware she was around me and didn't try to engage conversation or look at her.

Just leave her alone now cos Uv ruined ur chances now by kissing another girl in front of her and ignoring her so u can't have liked her that much and ur the one that ghosted her by the looks of it

Just leave her alone now cos Uv ruined ur chances now by kissing another girl in front of her and ignoring her so u can't have liked her that much and ur the one that ghosted her by the looks of it

You kisses another girl in front of her? Damn

Not right in front, maybe near.

So you're never getting her back after that

Doesn't change my advice. The fact that it's been a few days since the club may well mean that she's made a decision, but as you say, it may also be that she's got into her own head and thinks it would be too awkward now. The reality is that most people worry about how people are interpreting their actions, which ironically means that most people's fears in that regard are unfounded because most people are thinking about themselves. Your post is a great example of that, because you're worrying about what she thought about your actions when you know that she was talking to a friend the same night and was conflicted about the decision she is making, not wanting to lead you on and so on. There's a good chance that you're both worried about what the other is thinking, and a message from you could just be what's needed to get things going again. Even if it isn't, at least you'll know one way or the other.

On a side note, I just thought it was worth saying that some of the things you've written here show quite a lot of insight, maturity and empathy for someone who is (relatively) young. It's in stark contrast to a lot of people who make threads on here. Whether it's with this girl or not, that does bode really well going forwards as and when you do get into a long term relationship again.

Random update because i randomly remembered about this post; we bumped into each other a few weeks later on my birthday and have been together ever since lol