AITA for disinviting my friend to my birthday?

I’ve made a thread about this before but there’s some updates now.

So I’ve been friends with this girl since school, we’re now 23.

We were close friends at first (part of a group of but I’d say from 2019-23 we haven’t been as close, but would still invite eachother everywhere and go out together as a group. I didnt mind because I’d see her/text her at least every couple of months - I’m a pretty low maintenance friend.

However in the last year, she has been so distant - I haven’t seen her for 8 months and she only came to that because the group effectively made her. I’ve had big things happen in my life and she hardly messaged me or text me about anything…

Everyone in the group feels this, and 2 months ago we mentioned it in the group, she said she would make more effort. 2 months go past - she didnt message me once (I didnt message her on purpose to see if she would)

Now my birthday is in June and she randomly messaged me about what the plan is. I basically (nicely) said that since we’re not close anymore and I haven’t spoken to her in months, I’m just going to go out with a few friends who I’m closer to.

She admitted that she has been distant and said it’s because she doesn’t use social media (she would always watch my stories tho)

Was I in the wrong because I feel kinda bad?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Doesn't seem like anyone was hurt in this scenario, so no? Sometimes people just become distant and sometimes people don't realise when a friendship comes to an end naturally, especially if they're the ones who became more distant in the first place. She may have just wanted to ask because she thought it would be rude not to since there was never an official end to the friendship and she may think that she's still meant to be your friend.
I wouldn't be upset at her, just try to understand that sometimes it is time to move on, and sometimes you do need to let them know nicely that you feel that way (but not in a formal way where you explain and say that you are essentially ending contact now - I've had someone do that before and it's weird.) Chances are, she may feel better because you've explained it simply and she doesn't feel so pressured to try and remind herself to do the bare minimum in a friendship that isn't meant to be.