relationship help

I need help. Basically I’ve started uni and I’ve been in a gc to which he was begging the girls to kind of be a ‘wing man’ as he was interested in me.. probably him judging off the snaps id regularly send to the entertaining gc. When he met me, along side the group of girls, he was very quiet and he flirted with me a bit in front of them (we made it clear were both interested and the main reason of the motive was to make us talk) but then afterwards he was very quiet. We had a fun day, and then he was with me on the journey back alone. When he was with me it was just us two, so he was very sweet, cuddling me, protecting me and more stuff. You can tell he was feeling me. He even dropped me off and cuddled me and told me I looked good.
What confused me after is that when I went home, his texts were no longer as sweet and cute as it was right before we spoke. On top of that he wasn’t calling me the cute nicknames, but did for a bit after I told him what’s wrong, and if I did something wrong? He responded back saying that he has BPD and he doesn’t mean to make me upset and that he’s not sure what he’s done. Another day has passed and he has been so distant, not talking. Taking hours to respond when he’d answer me so quick even after I had left him on delivered for a long time. I’m not sure what’s going on but it’s honestly confused me and it makes me upset. If he’s acting like that because I was uglier in real life or some bs like that, it doesn’t make sense because he was cuddling me and touching me and flirting with me when he saw me. He even cracked jokes like “ ur mine now you can’t talk to another guy I’m from ******** I will kill him” . He’s not serious off it’s just a joke. Even when he walked me, he kept his arms around me and kept telling me “ everyone needs to know ur mine”…. What now? I don’t get it.. bc I may not be the prettiest, b ut I haven’t catfished him, I look better than the messy pics I send the gc on snap. I’m also a quite attractive girl who hears it from people all the time. I’m petite cute and have a kind of nice body. I don’t get why he’s so??? I guesss… turned off???? Pls help.

He also would tell the girls on the gc to try make us (me and him) ‘talk’ and that he’s looking for something serious.
Hes being weird with me, but talking so generously to the other girls on the gc. He can tell his distancing behaviour was upsetting me and he didn’t do anything. However when one of the girls sounded ‘a bit sad’ as a joke, he was so quick to ask if she’s okay and kept asking ‘ what? What? What did I do?’
Im just so confused. Men why do boys do this? I also tried talking to him about it but he was like ‘no ur good I just wanna take it slow’ ‘ you’re good trust me u didn’t do anything’. Like I understand the taking it slow thing, but why did he suddenly stop being so lovey and doing all this? Surely if you’re working towards something you still continue.. its only been 4 days yet I got sooo attached.
It’s not like he’s ‘out my league’ I’m a fairly pretty girl , and he isn’t that attractive. Casual acne, short etc.. but I just liked his voice smmm I fell in love hahahaha…
Help guys.

Sis, don’t waste your time. He sounds like an awful person. Using BPD as an excuse is very low of him and it sounds like he was just looking for a quick fling and guessing that you guys never did anything he’s trying to chat it up wit other females on that group chat and see if one of em will give it up.
Trust me, if a MAN wants to he will, no matter what. He’s not a man but rather a little boy. If he needed other people especially females to get you to talk to him then sis he ain’t the one. A man will come to you straight and not play no games. No one is perfect but he will in fact try his best, which this guy sounds like he’s not. Better off without him. (:

really needed this, thank you. I know ur a stranger but I promise you I'll never speak to him again even if we cross paths at uni.

I need help. Basically I’ve started uni and I’ve been in a gc to which he was begging the girls to kind of be a ‘wing man’ as he was interested in me.. probably him judging off the snaps id regularly send to the entertaining gc. When he met me, along side the group of girls, he was very quiet and he flirted with me a bit in front of them (we made it clear were both interested and the main reason of the motive was to make us talk) but then afterwards he was very quiet. We had a fun day, and then he was with me on the journey back alone. When he was with me it was just us two, so he was very sweet, cuddling me, protecting me and more stuff. You can tell he was feeling me. He even dropped me off and cuddled me and told me I looked good.
What confused me after is that when I went home, his texts were no longer as sweet and cute as it was right before we spoke. On top of that he wasn’t calling me the cute nicknames, but did for a bit after I told him what’s wrong, and if I did something wrong? He responded back saying that he has BPD and he doesn’t mean to make me upset and that he’s not sure what he’s done. Another day has passed and he has been so distant, not talking. Taking hours to respond when he’d answer me so quick even after I had left him on delivered for a long time. I’m not sure what’s going on but it’s honestly confused me and it makes me upset. If he’s acting like that because I was uglier in real life or some bs like that, it doesn’t make sense because he was cuddling me and touching me and flirting with me when he saw me. He even cracked jokes like “ ur mine now you can’t talk to another guy I’m from ******** I will kill him” . He’s not serious off it’s just a joke. Even when he walked me, he kept his arms around me and kept telling me “ everyone needs to know ur mine”…. What now? I don’t get it.. bc I may not be the prettiest, b ut I haven’t catfished him, I look better than the messy pics I send the gc on snap. I’m also a quite attractive girl who hears it from people all the time. I’m petite cute and have a kind of nice body. I don’t get why he’s so??? I guesss… turned off???? Pls help.

He also would tell the girls on the gc to try make us (me and him) ‘talk’ and that he’s looking for something serious.
Hes being weird with me, but talking so generously to the other girls on the gc. He can tell his distancing behaviour was upsetting me and he didn’t do anything. However when one of the girls sounded ‘a bit sad’ as a joke, he was so quick to ask if she’s okay and kept asking ‘ what? What? What did I do?’
Im just so confused. Men why do boys do this? I also tried talking to him about it but he was like ‘no ur good I just wanna take it slow’ ‘ you’re good trust me u didn’t do anything’. Like I understand the taking it slow thing, but why did he suddenly stop being so lovey and doing all this? Surely if you’re working towards something you still continue.. its only been 4 days yet I got sooo attached.
It’s not like he’s ‘out my league’ I’m a fairly pretty girl , and he isn’t that attractive. Casual acne, short etc.. but I just liked his voice smmm I fell in love hahahaha…
Help guys.

I need help. Basically I’ve started uni and I’ve been in a gc to which he was begging the girls to kind of be a ‘wing man’ as he was interested in me.. probably him judging off the snaps id regularly send to the entertaining gc. When he met me, along side the group of girls, he was very quiet and he flirted with me a bit in front of them (we made it clear were both interested and the main reason of the motive was to make us talk) but then afterwards he was very quiet. We had a fun day, and then he was with me on the journey back alone. When he was with me it was just us two, so he was very sweet, cuddling me, protecting me and more stuff. You can tell he was feeling me. He even dropped me off and cuddled me and told me I looked good.
What confused me after is that when I went home, his texts were no longer as sweet and cute as it was right before we spoke. On top of that he wasn’t calling me the cute nicknames, but did for a bit after I told him what’s wrong, and if I did something wrong? He responded back saying that he has BPD and he doesn’t mean to make me upset and that he’s not sure what he’s done. Another day has passed and he has been so distant, not talking. Taking hours to respond when he’d answer me so quick even after I had left him on delivered for a long time. I’m not sure what’s going on but it’s honestly confused me and it makes me upset. If he’s acting like that because I was uglier in real life or some bs like that, it doesn’t make sense because he was cuddling me and touching me and flirting with me when he saw me. He even cracked jokes like “ ur mine now you can’t talk to another guy I’m from ******** I will kill him” . He’s not serious off it’s just a joke. Even when he walked me, he kept his arms around me and kept telling me “ everyone needs to know ur mine”…. What now? I don’t get it.. bc I may not be the prettiest, b ut I haven’t catfished him, I look better than the messy pics I send the gc on snap. I’m also a quite attractive girl who hears it from people all the time. I’m petite cute and have a kind of nice body. I don’t get why he’s so??? I guesss… turned off???? Pls help.

He also would tell the girls on the gc to try make us (me and him) ‘talk’ and that he’s looking for something serious.
Hes being weird with me, but talking so generously to the other girls on the gc. He can tell his distancing behaviour was upsetting me and he didn’t do anything. However when one of the girls sounded ‘a bit sad’ as a joke, he was so quick to ask if she’s okay and kept asking ‘ what? What? What did I do?’
Im just so confused. Men why do boys do this? I also tried talking to him about it but he was like ‘no ur good I just wanna take it slow’ ‘ you’re good trust me u didn’t do anything’. Like I understand the taking it slow thing, but why did he suddenly stop being so lovey and doing all this? Surely if you’re working towards something you still continue.. its only been 4 days yet I got sooo attached.
It’s not like he’s ‘out my league’ I’m a fairly pretty girl , and he isn’t that attractive. Casual acne, short etc.. but I just liked his voice smmm I fell in love hahahaha…
Help guys.

Ok so I'm gonna offer a different opinion than some other people on this thread. So I'm a male. And in a wayy, I kind of understand this?? It was super weird that he used the BPD excuse.

But coming from a guy like me who is pretty shy when I talk to girls, he might have been super nervous. If he isn't that attractive as you say, he might have never had a chance to talk to a cute giril like you so he might have THOUGHT he messed up with you and stepped back to assure you he isn't a creep.

It seems to me that he never had a proper chance with a girl before, so he is probably contemplating at home whether he should have done "this or that" action with you that day. I'm definitely like that. I sometimes say embarresing stuff, and when I go home, Ohhh my days, I regret my choices soooo much.

He's probably panicking, although I'm not sure, is this his first time dating or having somone who liked him back? If it is I can totttttttallllylyyyy relate and its just because he truly doesn't know how to act.

For example, the statement where you said he puts his arm around you to assure other people that you're taken seems to be a case of worrying.

He might think you are attracted to someone else, but is worried about the consequences, so he doesn't know how to act, even if you talk to him. And I can kind of relate here. For the past year, me and this girl became great friends, eating studying etc. But recently I found out she had a boyfriend, so I distanced myself from her (I don't wanna cause trouble). So she's probably thinking why we don't hang out anymore. So I think your friend might not be sure that you are fully interested in him even if you confirmed that you love him too.

The one weird thing is that BPD excuse, but I believe that's just some nervousness and he doesn't want to loose his chance with you because he is embarrased. I can imagine him right now pacing and regretting that if I were him.

also you haven't really specified, he might truly have BPD, have you tried to go into it further?

So in my opinion, Please give him a chance and see how it goes as the days go by. Is he distancing even more?

I know all the comments here say to just move on, but please just wait and give him a chance, he could be confused. IF he distances even MORE. Then you might have to let go A TINY BIT. But don't totally ignore him. He could truly have some illness you never know!

Also maybe something wrong is happeining in his personal life. His parents might be strict in that he can't talk to girls (If he lives with his parents) Or maybe some traumatic experience happened. At this point I think you should also try to get in his heart in any way you think is best.

Also I have some rebuttals for the other comments on this thread. First, If he was hoping for a quick one and leave that is wrong, he wouldn't have stayed this long + its only been 5 days.
He also wouldn't have said to take it slow.
And he may be trying his best in HIS opinion, so you might want to push a little further.

Another time in my life, I really liked this girl, and I can tell that she liked me back, and we became pretty good friends, but just suddenly after summer break, she TOTALLY broke contact. She wasn't responding to a "hey how's life" Or my snaps, and she unfollowed me from instagram, all in a single snap. I was like "wtf". But I later realized that including me, she unfollowed tons of people, her instagram followers decreased by 100 followers, and what did they all have in common? They were all boys.
So I instantly knew, it was her parents doings and so I never pushed forward with her. I kinda miss her friendship but it is what it is. My point is that, there could be literally ANY reason why he distanced himself, not because he dislikes you. You just have to find the root cause! Don't react to the consequence (distancing) try to know why he is in the first place!

Maybe he wants to see if you truly truly truly like him, by seeing your reaction if he was with other girls in your gc.

Also one last thing is that I saw that you said you won't talk to him again. PLEASE, don't do that. That is the worst thing that could happen to an individual emotionally. He technically hasn't broken your heart or even announcened anything, so please don't totally ignore him. As a boy, I can confirm that would utterly and miserably shatter him.

If you think that you want to move on, just become regular old friends, saying hi in the hallways, and talking every once in a while. But total shutdown? Too much I believe.

So that's it, and please just remember this is allllllllll my opinion, and you can totally just ignore it! I can tell you are a very kind person!

If you have any questions or need anything else I'll be here!

hi there, I genuinely appreciate your response so much istg.
I wanna start off by saying tysm and that I can update you with more now.
about. a day after I wrote this, he caught me in the hallway and was with me for a bit. it was a weird feeling vbyt when I was on my phone he just took it and was playful. he was checking out my chats and found nothing bad. ive only got about eight girls on there. afterwards I was like okay my turn then. and he turned so red and kept saying aaaah naah naaa. he eventually pulled it up and there was so many girls lmao.. just texting him.

I felt embarrassed but I just never mentioned it. we parted and went to our destinations and I would hug him like I did when I met him, but I just said ' bye see you around'.
its been days I haven't heard from him at all. I'm gonna take ur advice and just nod or smile at the hall way and show I'm still a friend, but not move weird or act interested and text him ngl.

he was pretty good at flirting so idk if id say this was a first. also its weird bc if the other comments on here made by other people were true, why did he only entertain it for a short span? clearly men like that still hop on and text time to time, like towards night.

ive also slipped out with the girls on the gc, I haven't heard much from them the past few days either. we just stopped texting. maybe if I go uni again next week they'll start talking again and texting.

I found out the boy lied to me aswell, as a joke I asked in the gc ' guys what's his insta lemme see if he's a hoe' as a joke (he was on that gc ), he responded saying he doesn't have one, he has an old one but he forgot the password to it (the girls knew he was lying but I was the only one who didnt).. I found out it was a lie bc I saw it installed on his phone, along side that the pfp was changing every week (stalked and found his insta lmaoo).

Thanks for the update,
that is very weird that he would lie. I don't know what to say anymore lol. But I think that you reacted well by just distancing yourself enough. I guess you'll see what happens in the next few days if you distance yourself from him!

So sorry it didn't work out for him, have a great time though!

its getting weirder... he just started texting me since last night being like how he was prior to meeting me and distancing... he's calling me sweet names and asking me why I'm not at uni and double checking if I'm really okay...
ugh I just guess ill have to talk to him when I see him.