I am a loner ask me anything
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Original post by 061194
I am a loner ask me anything
How old are you? and are you at Uni?
Original post by ijc1
How old are you? and are you at Uni?
20, yep forced to do a course in which my mum approved would make the most money.
Original post by Megan_90
Don't worry, 
I have seen many people with situation like yours in my high school too, and I was able to help 1 of them. But I am not sure whether you like to continue as a loner or would you like to change??
I have seen many people with situation like yours in my high school too, and I was able to help 1 of them. But I am not sure whether you like to continue as a loner or would you like to change??I wasn't always a loner,I had good friends before I was violently bullied in high school.I became more sensitive and prone to neglect and abuse thats when trying to electrocute myself, pills ,wrists left me in a very unstable position ,So I would change it would make me alot happier.
Do you get through a lot of single player games then?
Original post by Eva.Gregoria
I was thinking the same. Though 'choice' is sort of ingrained (so much for free will). Reluctantly had to do my dissertation on a facet of adult attachment. I'm the one where I only like interaction from friends and family that is on my own terms, sort of thing.
Original post by 061194
20, yep forced to do a course in which my mum approved would make the most money.
You should do things that make you happy! I know it is hard especially when your parents want you to do something and don't really care about what you want, but you have to accept who you are/ you're past even if it might not have been great, you can't dwell on it, you are young and still have the ability to change your future.
You are not a loner!, you just haven't found the confidence to be happy with who you are and so you have blocked the world out in a way. I'm sure you have a really fun and exciting personality and are just keeping it hidden!
No one can be a loner, trust me, the weirdest of people have friends because in a world and society like this you are bound to meet people with similar interests and hobbies as you, you might just have to make the first move with other people to find this out.
You're young and at uni, you can join clubs, sports clubs, music clubs and different societies. you have so much opportunity to meet people with similar interests as you, at uni so use it!
btw I'm sorry if this kind of turned into a deep post
Original post by Eva.Gregoria
I was 12 years old when I knew I was depressed ,and through high school it was getting worse .I think I was about 15 -16 when I really realised that my friends had sort of loosened away from me,and I was on my own so then bullying hit me like a tonne of bricks ,I was defenceless so everything became more sensitive ,when I finally left and went to college it had a sort of dragged hangover effect where nothing physically was happening but emotionally I got more depressed being on my own.
Original post by somemightsay888
Do you get through a lot of single player games then?
Crash Bandicoot and Spyro FTW
)
Original post by hellodave5
I was thinking the same. Though 'choice' is sort of ingrained (so much for free will). Reluctantly had to do my dissertation on a facet of adult attachment. I'm the one where I only like interaction from friends and family that is on my own terms, sort of thing.
I agree. It was especially difficult immediately after coming to uni and seeing everyone spend so much time with each other and visit each others rooms and go out to the town and I instantly knew that as much as I'm jealous of them, I wouldn't like to be in their shoes. I like shopping on my own, walking on my own and eating on my own. There's a few people I'd be happy doing that with but in general, I'm a loner. And I'm happy about that.
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Original post by ijc1
You should do things that make you happy! I know it is hard especially when your parents want you to do something and don't really care about what you want, but you have to accept who you are/ you're past even if it might not have been great, you can't dwell on it, you are young and still have the ability to change your future.
You are not a loner!, you just haven't found the confidence to be happy with who you are and so you have blocked the world out in a way. I'm sure you have a really fun and exciting personality and are just keeping it hidden!
No one can be a loner, trust me, the weirdest of people have friends because in a world and society like this you are bound to meet people with similar interests and hobbies as you, you might just have to make the first move with other people to find this out.
You're young and at uni, you can join clubs, sports clubs, music clubs and different societies. you have so much opportunity to meet people with similar interests as you, at uni so use it!
btw I'm sorry if this kind of turned into a deep post
You are not a loner!, you just haven't found the confidence to be happy with who you are and so you have blocked the world out in a way. I'm sure you have a really fun and exciting personality and are just keeping it hidden!
No one can be a loner, trust me, the weirdest of people have friends because in a world and society like this you are bound to meet people with similar interests and hobbies as you, you might just have to make the first move with other people to find this out.
You're young and at uni, you can join clubs, sports clubs, music clubs and different societies. you have so much opportunity to meet people with similar interests as you, at uni so use it!
btw I'm sorry if this kind of turned into a deep post
You right mate.I've taken into account everything you've said. But my home is a really negative environment ,Its like I try and get away from it yet there is a string there that is pulling me right back into the dark.Would you mum ever call you a loner? Would she ever use your bad experiences against you?My brother live on his own as well, he might not admit it but hes in a similar situation to me.
Original post by 061194
I wasn't always a loner,I had good friends before I was violently bullied in high school.I became more sensitive and prone to neglect and abuse thats when trying to electrocute myself, pills ,wrists left me in a very unstable position ,So I would change it would make me alot happier.
I see... do you still contact your friends?? Have you tried going to extra activities? The person I used to know who had the same situation as yours, he went to some extra actives where he made lots new friends, and few of them who experienced the same kind of situation as him, sharing your feeling with someone will actually give you a great relief from your depression. Always be CONFIDENT in everything, as far as I know the best way to change is to find some new friends who u can share your feelings with. and do not let your past ruin your future
.. So like I said try talking to people, making new friends. hmm.. I guess you have a quiet personality. do you?? if you are shy and quiet, I understand that you will find it difficult to talk to people in a sudden, but trust me you will get use to it. Making good friends is a way to share feelings and thoughts. btw do u study or something?? Once again don't worry I am sure you will change 
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Megan_90
I see... do you still contact your friends?? Have you tried going to extra activities? The person I used to know who had the same situation as yours, he went to some extra actives where he made lots new friends, and few of them who experienced the same kind of situation as him, sharing your feeling with someone will actually give you a great relief from your depression. Always be CONFIDENT in everything, as far as I know the best way to change is to find some new friends who u can share your feelings with. and do not let your past ruin your future .. So like I said try talking to people, making new friends. hmm.. I guess you have a quiet personality. do you?? if you are shy and quiet, I understand that you will find it difficult to talk to people in a sudden, but trust me you will get use to it. Making good friends is a way to share feelings and thoughts. btw do u study or something?? Once again don't worry I am sure you will change
.. So like I said try talking to people, making new friends. hmm.. I guess you have a quiet personality. do you?? if you are shy and quiet, I understand that you will find it difficult to talk to people in a sudden, but trust me you will get use to it. Making good friends is a way to share feelings and thoughts. btw do u study or something?? Once again don't worry I am sure you will change Your right,and hopefully I will,but my family had huge trust issues with other families and as a result everyone even an acquaintance at University they will ask me 1000s of questions about,that say stuff like don't trust them too much.ONE MASSIVE FACTOR is my mum wants me to socialise with some people but not too much,and only some certain people.For example.I once went with someone to eat a nice meal.My mum said its good your mixing with other people.Another day I went to hang out with this person in which my mum flipped,and said your spending too much time with this person.It seems that Im always trying to please her and that has left me where I am now.
Original post by 061194
I spend most of my time on my own,I've been called it by my insecure mum and other adult family relatives.Its a way for them to insult me.I've ended up being insecure and living upto the label.
In my opinion, that word is subjective ie it depends the way you interpret the word.
Sometimes I am a loner too however I view it as a positive thing, it's the only time where I can isolate the surrounding and only focus whatever I deeply want without the need to consider about others.
Goodluck
Original post by 061194
Im a guy
Then like me you're screwed when it comes to relationships with women, even if you're generally attractive looking etc women tend to have a big beef about it. If you were a woman you would get a free pass particularly if you're hot looking as blokes don't care even if you risk passing it on to offspring a bloke would still get with a woman who's a loner and just ignore the fact that she is, so life for us men sucks unfortunately.
Original post by Anonymous
I grew up in extended family and everyone took their insecurities out on the others in the house,because of that the children were often at the receiving end.I ended up getting bullied quite violently in high school as well as arguments at home,I ended up spending time on my own a lot
Ah ,I'm sorry to hear that. I can understand your feelings because I have been facing loneliness due to similar reasons not particularly same... so do you feel like making friends ?
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Original post by 061194
Your right,and hopefully I will,but my familyi had huge trust issues with other families and as a result everyone even an acquaintance at University they will ask me 1000s of questions about,that say stuff like don't trust them too much.ONE MASSIVE FACTOR is my mum wants me to socialise with some people but not too much,and only some certain people.For example.I once went with someone to eat a nice meal.My mum said its good your mixing with other people.Another day I went to hang out with this person in which my mum flipped,and said your spending too much time with this person.It seems that Im always trying to please her and that has left me where I am now.
Hmm... but you have the right to do what you think is right, don't worry about what others say, be confident to make your own decisions that suits you and makes you feel happy..
Original post by Sollom
Ah ,I'm sorry to hear that. I can understand your feelings because I have been facing loneliness due to similar reasons not particularly same... so do you feel like making friends ?
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I learnt to keep positive now and so I was always willing to give everything ago .Even interacting with different people despite age.I am not a loner by choice ,i guess depression decayed my confidence and I was left in a dark place feeling hopeless.
Original post by 061194
I loved everyone in my family ,my mum caused a lot of problems for my entire extended family and as a result shows attention seeking behaviour and if she doesn't get it will say that I've done something wrong or that I'm not treating her right.She has this dont question me ,I'm always right attitude.I might have been neglected as a child but Im not sure.Im 20 now.
I know how you feel. This may sound bad, but in hindsight, I'm lucky my mother died of cancer before she completely wrecked my life.
Original post by 061194
I learnt to keep positive now and so I was always willing to give everything ago .Even interacting with different people despite age.I am not a loner by choice ,i guess depression decayed my confidence and I was left in a dark place feeling hopeless.
Somehow, I manage to get politely excluded from male social groups. And I can't speak to girls without making a fool of myself.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by 061194
I learnt to keep positive now and so I was always willing to give everything ago .Even interacting with different people despite age.I am not a loner by choice ,i guess depression decayed my confidence and I was left in a dark place feeling hopeless.
I wiah you have a happy life ahead
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