Rant

Hey all. Am posting as anonymous as I do not want those who know me to think any less of me.

At home, I had a ****e time. For four years I was clinically depressed. I was bullied for no good reason. I self harmed. I attempted suicide twice. I had few close friend. No one has ever 'liked liked' me. My family are awful.

I have now gone to Uni, and i know it's only a week and a half in, but I am basically now feeling so lonely here. I have one close friend, but she is a Postgrad and she too is unhappy and thinking about leaving. I'm not even thinking of leaving, as life back home is too awful to return to.

Tonight was our Freshers Ball, and I spent all of those four hours either following my group of 'friends' about (no real response from them), or on my own trying to socialise with people. Generally, for whatever reason, people do not want to get to know me and be loyal to me.

I am a nice guy, very loyal to all my friends, always trying to socialise. Yet, seemingly because I am not good looking, I get cast aside. And no this isn't a 'no one will go out with me' relationship problem. More a 'when can i just be happy please' problem.

Sorry, not really expecting anyone to solve it for me, just a rant I needed to let rip on.

Well generally the bullying, the family all being self-absorbed and disinterested and generally unfamily-like, and having few close friends will do it.

No positive attention, or negative. Any would have been nice.

Who are you closest to within your family unit?

None. 2 years my Mum ran off with a bloke off the internet, then came back. Then she did it again, and came back. They're separated but live at home together cause neither can afford to move out. Lots of arguing. They live with me and they haven't even realised I've been depressed for 4 years. And my sister is just selfish and immature. So no, don't get on or am 'close' with any of them.

Yet, seemingly because I am not good looking, I get cast aside