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I'm a slut.

I don't know how else to put it but I'm feeling a bit **** atm and I just want to vent. I have meaningless sex with men. In my teens I suffered with depression and low-self esteem. I had a somewhat bad relationship (which my parents never really knew about) and I had to deal with the aftermath of it more or less alone. I still suffer from low moods and I'll have sex with people as a way of temporarily lifting my mood. Sometimes I'll feel guilty afterwards, other times I just won't give a ****.

I'm really into the whole 'rape fantasy' thing and, at uni, I'd go on nights-out and get ****ed by total strangers who I never saw or spoke to again. I had quite a conservative upbringing and my close friends don't even know about the stuff I get up to. They'd be disgusted with me if they did. For that reason, I'd also say that I'm not a slut in an obvious or conventional sense i.e. I don't dress revealingly or go about flirting outrageously with men and I'm generally discreet about the things I do but when I see a guy I find attractive I'll think about having sex with him. I've slept with two guys that I work with. We all sort of get along as friends and have a good laugh with each other. I like the fact that I get along well with both but I'm not tied down to either. I don't even feel emotionally attached to the people I sleep with, I just like the way they make me feel when we're together.

I find it relatively easy to build relationships with both men and women. I've had relationships with decent men but I lie about the way I am. I pretend that I'm a good, well brought-up girl when I've been acting like a slut. I could never bring myself to tell the truth because they'd most-likely dump me on the spot.

I only ever really discussed things with one or two people I knew at uni. Right now I'm feeling a little bit lost. I realize that anyone reading this will have nil respect for me but if you have any constructive advice on how to get my **** together I'd appreciate it.

Reply 1

Protégé

11

I don't really think there's anything wrong with what you're doing. Doesn't seem like you're leading anyone on. Heck, right now I'd rather just screw randomers than get into a relationship. As long as you don't cheat on your partners, I wouldn't call you a slut.

Reply 2

username1533709

5

Dude.Wtf am I reading. Well ,to be fair some people just have a natural tendency to sleep around but I would not label any derogutory labels like slut on you for your behaviour.

Reply 3

cole-slaw

5

Original post by Anonymous

I don't know how else to put it but I'm feeling a bit **** atm and I just want to vent. I have meaningless sex with men. In my teens I suffered with depression and low-self esteem. I had a somewhat bad relationship (which my parents never really knew about) and I had to deal with the aftermath of it more or less alone. I still suffer from low moods and I'll have sex with people as a way of temporarily lifting my mood. Sometimes I'll feel guilty afterwards, other times I just won't give a ****.

I'm really into the whole 'rape fantasy' thing and, at uni, I'd go on nights-out and get ****ed by total strangers who I never saw or spoke to again. I had quite a conservative upbringing and my close friends don't even know about the stuff I get up to. They'd be disgusted with me if they did. For that reason, I'd also say that I'm not a slut in an obvious or conventional sense i.e. I don't dress revealingly or go about flirting outrageously with men and I'm generally discreet about the things I do but when I see a guy I find attractive I'll think about having sex with him. I've slept with two guys that I work with. We all sort of get along as friends and have a good laugh with each other. I like the fact that I get along well with both but I'm not tied down to either. I don't even feel emotionally attached to the people I sleep with, I just like the way they make me feel when we're together.

I find it relatively easy to build relationships with both men and women. I've had relationships with decent men but I lie about the way I am. I pretend that I'm a good, well brought-up girl when I've been acting like a slut. I could never bring myself to tell the truth because they'd most-likely dump me on the spot.

I only ever really discussed things with one or two people I knew at uni. Right now I'm feeling a little bit lost. I realize that anyone reading this will have nil respect for me but if you have any constructive advice on how to get my **** together I'd appreciate it.

Everyone needs a hobby. I don't see why yours is any better or worse than anyone else's.

Reply 4

Killer Bean

13

Original post by Anonymous

I realize that anyone reading this will have nil respect for me

Wrong. At least, you seem all right to me, from what you've written.

I don't see what exactly the issue is. So you sleep around; that's not a bad thing in itself, is it?

The only real problem I can detect here is that you're having a hard time finding genuine intimacy, whatever that may be (correct me if I'm wrong). Just like the rest of us. :wink:

Reply 5

TheonlyMrsHolmes

19

Well I read it, I have respect for you. I see nothing wrong with "being a slut" but of course it's a derogatory term and I think for you to feel better, you shouldn't identify yourself as one. So what? your promiscuous, big deal! So are millions of people on this planet, don't let society make you feel like your doing something wrong or that you have something mentally wrong with you(you would be surprised how many times I read "go see a therapist"). Just because you were bought up in a conservative way and your friends don't hold the same morals doesn't mean you are doing something wrong, the guilt that your feeling isn't good so I would honestly tell you to stop feeling that way, I will say it again, so what that you like sex?!

I think your safety was my only concern when reading your post, only because the random strangers thing is concerning because you don't really know who they are, but clearly your not stupid so I'm sure you were comfortable enough to have sex with them.

Honestly sex is fine, as long as you stay safe.

Reply 6

comptroller

6

See a professional psychiatrist. It may help you resolve the deeper issues that are at play here.
FWIW, I'm a trained psychiatric nurse (but going back into education for a career change).

You can PM me anonymously, if it helps (create a throw-away account).

Good luck.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Gott

It's probably just a phase anyway and if your worried then (for want of a better way of putting it) just stop. You must be on very friendly terms with each, do they both know what's going on?

Well at work we have 'teams' of around 10-13 people. Both these guys are on my team and I know they're going out with a few of the other guys this very weekend. Although we don't exactly get together in a three and have a group-discussion about the matter, I'd say it's safe to say that they're both aware. They're both extremely laid-back and have a really casual approach to sex. Since I don't have feelings for them and they don't for me, I don't think they care too much if I've slept with the other.

Reply 8

Knugs

12

Original post by Anonymous

I don't know how else to put it but I'm feeling a bit **** atm and I just want to vent. I have meaningless sex with men. In my teens I suffered with depression and low-self esteem. I had a somewhat bad relationship (which my parents never really knew about) and I had to deal with the aftermath of it more or less alone. I still suffer from low moods and I'll have sex with people as a way of temporarily lifting my mood. Sometimes I'll feel guilty afterwards, other times I just won't give a ****.

I just like the way they make me feel when we're together

Speak to your GP and ask for CBT. They will be able to help you a lot. There is more into it than most people can tell.
PM me if you want to know what I'm on about.

Reply 9

Zarek

21

Don't say slut. Have a bit of faith in yourself. If you're still worried see a councillor to help out things in perspective. You're fine.

Reply 10

username1229433

5

I know this is hard to do, but you have to start loving yourself more and find alternative ways of boosting up your self-esteem and confidence.

You don't have to be in a relationship, but sleeping with so many men isn't the solution your problems.

Please, seek help from a counsellor or psychotherapist. There are people who are willing to help you with your emotions.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 11

Silver Arrow

19

You sound like my kinda girl.

Reply 12

JamjamjamT

14

Original post by Anonymous

I don't know how else to put it but I'm feeling a bit **** atm and I just want to vent. I have meaningless sex with men. In my teens I suffered with depression and low-self esteem. I had a somewhat bad relationship (which my parents never really knew about) and I had to deal with the aftermath of it more or less alone. I still suffer from low moods and I'll have sex with people as a way of temporarily lifting my mood. Sometimes I'll feel guilty afterwards, other times I just won't give a ****.

I'm really into the whole 'rape fantasy' thing and, at uni, I'd go on nights-out and get ****ed by total strangers who I never saw or spoke to again. I had quite a conservative upbringing and my close friends don't even know about the stuff I get up to. They'd be disgusted with me if they did. For that reason, I'd also say that I'm not a slut in an obvious or conventional sense i.e. I don't dress revealingly or go about flirting outrageously with men and I'm generally discreet about the things I do but when I see a guy I find attractive I'll think about having sex with him. I've slept with two guys that I work with. We all sort of get along as friends and have a good laugh with each other. I like the fact that I get along well with both but I'm not tied down to either. I don't even feel emotionally attached to the people I sleep with, I just like the way they make me feel when we're together.

I find it relatively easy to build relationships with both men and women. I've had relationships with decent men but I lie about the way I am. I pretend that I'm a good, well brought-up girl when I've been acting like a slut. I could never bring myself to tell the truth because they'd most-likely dump me on the spot.

I only ever really discussed things with one or two people I knew at uni. Right now I'm feeling a little bit lost. I realize that anyone reading this will have nil respect for me but if you have any constructive advice on how to get my **** together I'd appreciate it.

If you don't have any respect for yourself and if you don't love yourself then you will never get yourself out of the hole you are in. You give yourself to these guys because you think it makes you feel wanted and loved but you are fooling yourself. Stop giving it away and start taking care of you. Go and see your GP and seek professional help. You are better than that.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Protégé

I don't really think there's anything wrong with what you're doing. Doesn't seem like you're leading anyone on. Heck, right now I'd rather just screw randomers than get into a relationship. As long as you don't cheat on your partners, I wouldn't call you a slut.

Original post by Kadak

Dude.Wtf am I reading. Well ,to be fair some people just have a natural tendency to sleep around but I would not label any derogutory labels like slut on you for your behaviour.

Original post by cole-slaw

Everyone needs a hobby. I don't see why yours is any better or worse than anyone else's.

Original post by Killer Bean

Wrong. At least, you seem all right to me, from what you've written.

I don't see what exactly the issue is. So you sleep around; that's not a bad thing in itself, is it?

The only real problem I can detect here is that you're having a hard time finding genuine intimacy, whatever that may be (correct me if I'm wrong). Just like the rest of us. :wink:

Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes

Well I read it, I have respect for you. I see nothing wrong with "being a slut" but of course it's a derogatory term and I think for you to feel better, you shouldn't identify yourself as one. So what? your promiscuous, big deal! So are millions of people on this planet, don't let society make you feel like your doing something wrong or that you have something mentally wrong with you(you would be surprised how many times I read "go see a therapist"). Just because you were bought up in a conservative way and your friends don't hold the same morals doesn't mean you are doing something wrong, the guilt that your feeling isn't good so I would honestly tell you to stop feeling that way, I will say it again, so what that you like sex?!

I think your safety was my only concern when reading your post, only because the random strangers thing is concerning because you don't really know who they are, but clearly your not stupid so I'm sure you were comfortable enough to have sex with them.

Honestly sex is fine, as long as you stay safe.

I've done things I'm not proud but I chose not to include them in the OP, which I wrote out rather quickly anyway. For instance, I had sex with a male friend, who I had a long-standing crush on, even though he had a girlfriend. It was after he confessed that he liked me. I'm driven by sexual lust more than I am restrained by morality which is never good.
I haven't cheated on any of my partners but I've definitely been tempted. As much as I'd like to be in a relationship right now, I think it's best that I don't enter one. I honestly question whether or not I'd be able to stay faithful. It sounds like a terrible thing to say but it's the truth.

Original post by Knugs

Speak to your GP and ask for CBT. They will be able to help you a lot. There is more into it than most people can tell.
PM me if you want to know what I'm on about.

I don't want to PM anyone. Can you not just tell me here what you're opinion is?

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Gott

Well I'm no saint so I can understand it from their perspective (no saint but still Virgin lol). You are clearly not the sort who wants to be taken advantage of, so have you thought of finding a boyfriend?

Finding a boyfriend is not a problem it's maintaining the relationship which worries me. (See above)

Reply 15

SiminaM

15

Don't worry, in western countries people think this is normal or a bit odd, nothing scandalous; maybe just gossip material.

Reply 16

Birkenhead

3

Most people on here will tell you that there's nothing wrong with what you're doing and that as long as it's safe and consensual you should just let your hair down.

But if you're using sex as a way of coping with mental health problems then that is not healthy. Casual sex has been demonstrated to actively cause mental health problems like depression, low self esteem and even increased suicidal ideation - as opposed to just being linked to them - and I can't see any good coming from abusing sex like a drug in this way when you're already suffering emotionally. It also sounds as if you get a high from putting yourself in vulnerable situations where you could be taken advantage of and come to harm.

I would suggest you try to exert some control over your impulses, deal with your problems, and then try to maintain a healthier attitude towards sex. I'm sure you would be much happier in the long run.

Reply 17

maddersla

7

You're not a slut. First and foremost, stop degrading yourself with insults. You're dealing with a difficult situation in a less than ideal way, but you are not a slut.

Reply 18

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

x

I feel the same

Reply 19

Knugs

12

Original post by Anonymous

I don't want to PM anyone. Can you not just tell me here what you're opinion is?

My opinion is based on my experience of doing psychiatry as a medical student and learning to understand mental health.

I don't even know the slightest about you, only if you were to let me take an hour long history of you I would get an idea of what the underlying problem is. And then I'm not a psychiatrist. I'm just someone who has studied the theory, learned some skills and seen 2 months of consultant practice. Maybe you don't even have a problem at all? So my opinion is already biased and inaccurate, to some degree false. What you have had said however, a lot of the phrases and words are red flags. This is only correct if you truly feel that way too. Without anyone seeing you how you respond to certain questions, how you are as a person, not even professionals will be able to form a conclusive opinion. Hence I try to tell you that the GP will give you access to some people that really can help you. Everyone will take you seriously.
If you wonder what these red flags are, I have had underlined them previously. I know you will want to know anyway what I think. It can really be a wide spectrum of mental health issues or again NOTHING being wrong. Clinical depression, generalized anxiety disorders, bereavement, self harm. There might have been something in your childhood or at birth, something going down the family that made you cope with your feelings in that specific way. CBT or psychotherapy can explore these issues.

I know you dont want to but you can talk to me anonymously too.

I'm a slut.

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