Guy called me horrible names when I rejected him

Report him to the uni if he is making you that uncomfortable.

Otherwise, just block him.

I’d report him to the uni. He’s breached their code of conduct and needs to be reminded that he can’t react like this when he’s upset.

I rejected this guy on my uni course as I felt he wasn't my type and last night he called me so many mean names, said I was a fat slut that opens up to every other guy but him, it really hurt me, what do I do?

He'll grow out of it eventually. This is not uncommon. A lot of guys have to go through this unfortunately because dating for men is brutal. Men have to deal with rejection far more often than girls. I am not saying that I agree with the actions, but I definitely understand it. It will take some time to develop a tough skin and learn how to deal with rejection. He's probably still very young and going through this phase. Hopefully, he'll find something that makes him happy and won't give a crap about women anymore. Because let's be honest, girls ruin everyone's day. If the only thing that you think about is girls then it is going to destroy your mental health. Hope this guy gets out of it and finds his own happiness.

He'll grow out of it eventually. This is not uncommon. A lot of guys have to go through this unfortunately because dating for men is brutal. Men have to deal with rejection far more often than girls. I am not saying that I agree with the actions, but I definitely understand it. It will take some time to develop a tough skin and learn how to deal with rejection. He's probably still very young and going through this phase. Hopefully, he'll find something that makes him happy and won't give a crap about women anymore. Because let's be honest, girls ruin everyone's day. If the only thing that you think about is girls then it is going to destroy your mental health. Hope this guy gets out of it and finds his own happiness.

I rejected this guy on my uni course as I felt he wasn't my type and last night he called me so many mean names, said I was a fat slut that opens up to every other guy but him, it really hurt me, what do I do?

Agreeing with and exagerating insults is as good a way as any of defusing them.

EG, yeah I'm so fat that if I lay on top of you your rib-cage would snap like a dried twig (with a snap of your fingers).
Yeah (shrug of your shoulders) I can't help opening up to every guy that gets my juices flowing. I'm that kind of gal. (optionally add with a smile) It's not difficult to get into my good books (with the clear unspoken message that the issue is with him being totally inept)

Frame control is everything. He or she who has the stronger frame wins.
A fine frame for you to have is that you are a great person. You're not perfect. And you are able to poke fun at yourself. But overall, you're a great person.

It's fine if you go round telling the amusing anecdote of you rejecting him and him insulting you. For your own amusement and the amusement of others. Whilst also making the serious point that he behaved like an idiot. And also getting people on your side before he bad mouths you and turns others against you.

How did you reject him. Was it gentle, or was it brutal? Be honest. A couple of years ago I had a "character assassination rejection" where I was given all the reasons from this girl why she would never want to go out with me. Unfortunately there are a few girls who go in for brutal rejections, be honest, did you do this? If you did then those rejections can hurt like hell and cause a guy to act like a jerk. If you didn't though he is just a jerk.

Those insults hurt me


I tried to be nice but I said I have to be gone straight with you and say no and that's when he kicked off, another person stepped him and drag him away and told him to **** off he'd been trying it with other girls that same night

Why are so many people on this thread desperately trying to justify this guy's behaviour? There is no excuse for it.

All the more reason to extract as much humour as possible from his insults if they hurt you.
As in the cliche "You've gotta laugh or you'd cry."

One technique you can use is the blue hair metaphor. If someone were to tell you that you had ridiculous blue hair, how would you react? You wouldn't react at all, because you don't have blue hair. So when some guy calls you a slut, it's the same as saying you have blue hair. Neither are true. Neither are worth reacting to. Apart from laughing about being called those things.

Aim to avoid letting yourself become a victim. If someone is saying horrible things to you, go into frame assertion mode.

Also, remind yourself that there are far more great people on your course and at your uni than there are idiots like this bloke. Aim to focus most of your time and attention on the great people and the great things in your life (such as you learning new things every working day about a subject area you're passionate about).


There is indeed no justification for how the guy behaved. He acted like a butt hurt whiney little petulant spoilt brat.
But such is life. You come across people like him from time to time.

I see it as a battle of egos. You don't want to let people like him win by letting him get under your skin and muck your day or week up.
You don't want to be dragged down into his foetid swamp of negativity.

I want him kicked out of uni

I want him kicked out of uni

So calling me a fat slut is understandable?

Why are so many people on this thread desperately trying to justify this guy's behaviour? There is no excuse for it.

Just ignore him and move on. People are going to say stuff to you but you're not gonna report every single person. Yeah, I agree with the other user. The guy was being rude, but you're blowing things out of proportion. You're not gonna get anything out of reporting. Do it if you want but I am just saying that it's a waste of your time and his time. You're not gonna get anything out of it, maybe except an ego boost.

Based on how academic misconducts go, he WILL 100% NOT be kicked out of uni. This is a minor offense. The best that the university is going to do is just give him an informal verbal warning. In some cases, not even that. Sometimes the accuser decides that they want to withdraw their allegations because they don't want to go through the lengthy misconduct proceedings. You know? You will have to fill in paperwork, attend the misconduct hearing and then wait for a decision. It's actually a long process and not many people are willing to go through with it. And I think that doing all this for something like a tiny insult is really not worth doing it. I think that the best decision is just to move on, but it's your decision to make.