My Girlfriends chatting to other men
I've been dating my girlfriend for close to 5 months(Been chatting for about 7). Recently I was round hers when I found some conversations with other boys (We had been chatting about the texts we first sent to each other and how cringey they were so I was looking for those messages when I stumbled upon these other conversations.)
I didn't get to read the all of the conversations there was more than 1 guy she was talking to and I stopped reading when I realised this was just more than friendly chat (I have no problem what so ever with her having boy friends)
I called her up on these messages and she burst into tears and was obviously very upset she's been caught. I left her house and told her I need time to think about these messages. In the meantime she deleted all of these conversations and pleaded for us to get back together.
I hated seeing her this upset and being the soppy guy I am I've gotten back with her, but now I no longer trust her whatsoever and whenever she's not around all I can think about is these other guys.
It worries me more that's she's deleted all the messages, she said she deleted them so she would stop talking to them and I would trust her again but I just feel if I was to see those messages they would have gotten even worse the more I read
What should I do?!
I didn't get to read the all of the conversations there was more than 1 guy she was talking to and I stopped reading when I realised this was just more than friendly chat (I have no problem what so ever with her having boy friends)
I called her up on these messages and she burst into tears and was obviously very upset she's been caught. I left her house and told her I need time to think about these messages. In the meantime she deleted all of these conversations and pleaded for us to get back together.
I hated seeing her this upset and being the soppy guy I am I've gotten back with her, but now I no longer trust her whatsoever and whenever she's not around all I can think about is these other guys.
It worries me more that's she's deleted all the messages, she said she deleted them so she would stop talking to them and I would trust her again but I just feel if I was to see those messages they would have gotten even worse the more I read
What should I do?!
(edited 9 years ago)
How bad were the messages? Judging by her reaction though it sounds as if she's guilty and done something wrong.
I wouldn't stay with her of you can't trust her
I wouldn't stay with her of you can't trust her
Depends how hot she is really.
Hmm.. How bad were the messages?
I'd feel the same as you in this situation. The best thing you can do is probably have a frank discussion with her and find out why she's talking to these people etc, and perhaps communicate to her that it makes you feel comfortable. Relationships are about compromise so you should both be able to reach an agreement on something. But yeah, I can sympathise with this. If she's not willing to consider your feelings then..will it even work?
I'd feel the same as you in this situation. The best thing you can do is probably have a frank discussion with her and find out why she's talking to these people etc, and perhaps communicate to her that it makes you feel comfortable. Relationships are about compromise so you should both be able to reach an agreement on something. But yeah, I can sympathise with this. If she's not willing to consider your feelings then..will it even work?
Original post by Schrödingers Cat
How bad were the messages? Judging by her reaction though it sounds as if she's guilty and done something wrong.
I wouldn't stay with her of you can't trust her
I wouldn't stay with her of you can't trust her
Original post by Emily.97
Hmm.. How bad were the messages?
I'd feel the same as you in this situation. The best thing you can do is probably have a frank discussion with her and find out why she's talking to these people etc, and perhaps communicate to her that it makes you feel comfortable. Relationships are about compromise so you should both be able to reach an agreement on something. But yeah, I can sympathise with this. If she's not willing to consider your feelings then..will it even work?
I'd feel the same as you in this situation. The best thing you can do is probably have a frank discussion with her and find out why she's talking to these people etc, and perhaps communicate to her that it makes you feel comfortable. Relationships are about compromise so you should both be able to reach an agreement on something. But yeah, I can sympathise with this. If she's not willing to consider your feelings then..will it even work?
Pretty bad in my opinion, they were quick fire flirty type conversations, lots of wink faces, do you miss me and snapchats (Although obviously I have no idea what was sent on snapchat)
It's a difficult one because I feel she does have the power in the relationship a lot of the time (I'm punching above my weight). She was very sympathetic to begin with and said she would do anything to keep us together but once we had gotten back together these feelings quickly subsided again
Original post by ispiked
Pretty bad in my opinion, they were quick fire flirty type conversations, lots of wink faces, do you miss me and snapchats (Although obviously I have no idea what was sent on snapchat)
It's a difficult one because I feel she does have the power in the relationship a lot of the time (I'm punching above my weight). She was very sympathetic to begin with and said she would do anything to keep us together but once we had gotten back together these feelings quickly subsided again
It's a difficult one because I feel she does have the power in the relationship a lot of the time (I'm punching above my weight). She was very sympathetic to begin with and said she would do anything to keep us together but once we had gotten back together these feelings quickly subsided again
What do you mean when you say the feelings quickly subsided?
Yeah. I wouldn't be happy at all if I was in this situation. I'd probably want to leave them, but I can understand that when you love somebody its so incredibly difficult.
Original post by Emily.97
What do you mean when you say the feelings quickly subsided?
Yeah. I wouldn't be happy at all if I was in this situation. I'd probably want to leave them, but I can understand that when you love somebody its so incredibly difficult.
Yeah. I wouldn't be happy at all if I was in this situation. I'd probably want to leave them, but I can understand that when you love somebody its so incredibly difficult.
Well the first day we got back together she was doing lots to build the relationship back up again, and to try and earn my trust again but after that first day when she had realised I wasn't going to leave her she just went back to be normal like nothing has happened completely
Original post by ispiked
Well the first day we got back together she was doing lots to build the relationship back up again, and to try and earn my trust again but after that first day when she had realised I wasn't going to leave her she just went back to be normal like nothing has happened completely
I see. Seems like she's taking advantage and doesn't particularly care about your feelings/concerns. Probably worth considering whether you even want to be with somebody like this.
Original post by ispiked
Pretty bad in my opinion, they were quick fire flirty type conversations, lots of wink faces, do you miss me and snapchats (Although obviously I have no idea what was sent on snapchat)
It's a difficult one because I feel she does have the power in the relationship a lot of the time (I'm punching above my weight). She was very sympathetic to begin with and said she would do anything to keep us together but once we had gotten back together these feelings quickly subsided again
It's a difficult one because I feel she does have the power in the relationship a lot of the time (I'm punching above my weight). She was very sympathetic to begin with and said she would do anything to keep us together but once we had gotten back together these feelings quickly subsided again
If I were on your situation OP I would probably leave her... Although it's hard it does sound like she's just keeping you around because you'll do anything for her...
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If messages are bad,dump her quicker than a no.2.
If messages are bad,dump her quicker than a no.2.
lol dump. She's only pretending to cry because she got caught.
She's got to go mate. Not gonna lie since you left she's probably ****ing someone else
If she's already messaging other guys at the 5 month mark, it's not looking great....
I know someone who was in a very similar situation to you. What he did was use his girlfriend's phone to text the guy she was sending flirty messages to, but be very very explicit and provocative (if you know what I mean), and then delete the text. Long story short, he found out she was banging this other guy, no excuses.
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