Did he do something wrong or am I overreacting?

I arranged to meet this guy (we'd been talking for a few weeks). We walked for a bit and ended up in the corner of an empty street.

He asked for a kiss so I let him give me a peck on the lips, he wanted more but I pulled away and said he couldn't have that. He kept holding my hands and then hugged me for a while. When he hugged me he started grabbing my bum. He was saying stuff like "come here, I can't keep my hands off of you" and putting his arms around my waist and pulling me closer to him. Apparently he was going to "teach me how to kiss" (his words), and then he said "you do it like this" and tried to put his tongue in my mouth. I pulled away again and said he wasn't allowed to do that yet. Even though after this he kept kissing me again. Later on he put a hand down the back of my leggings and felt my bum.

I lied and said it was a different time to what it actually was so that I could leave. When I was walking away he slapped my bum.

When he left I just wanted to cry and clean myself in the shower. Whilst he was doing it I felt uncomfortable and wanted him to stop, but never actually got the words out or was able to walk away.

So my question is, did he do anything wrong? I was thinking what he did was wrong but I still stood there whilst he was kissing me etc so he must have thought I wanted him to carry on and I can only blame myself.

(I did try and post this anonymously when it happened but it hasn't been approved yet and I'd really appreciate some opinions now).

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 1

Sycamores

10

Of course he did!

You told him to stop several times and he still continued.

The minute you say stop, then you've taken the consent away and he should stop what he's doing immediately and apologize.

I'd stay away from this dude and even report him to the police if you really feel that you want to.
He could do this to other girls and possibly take it even further without their consent.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

He definitely did do something wrong OP!!!

No means no, end of... I completely agree with the first poster, what he did was not ok in ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM!

I'd stay away from him, find a guy who respects you and your decisions, this one sounds like nothing but trouble.

Stay safe, honey xox

Reply 3

CherelleFairuz

1

Dont meet him again, if he doesnt understand what no means then leave it as that

Reply 4

Genocidal

19

Rapist in the making.

Reply 5

Zargabaath

21

He sounds like a creep, you were probably wise to get out of there when you did. Maybe he was just really eager or has bad social skills, but if you said no he should've stopped. Whatever it was, you didn't do anything wrong and he should have got the message

Reply 6

TurboCretin

20

Yeah not cool. I'd take this as a warning sign - doesn't sound like he has much respect for you on the face of it.

Reply 7

Feline_Nymphet

2

Original post by anonymousxo

I arranged to meet this guy (we'd been talking for a few weeks). We walked for a bit and ended up in the corner of an empty street.

He asked for a kiss so I let him give me a peck on the lips, he wanted more but I pulled away and said he couldn't have that. He kept holding my hands and then hugged me for a while. When he hugged me he started grabbing my bum. He was saying stuff like "come here, I can't keep my hands off of you" and putting his arms around my waist and pulling me closer to him. Apparently he was going to "teach me how to kiss" (his words), and then he said "you do it like this" and tried to put his tongue in my mouth. I pulled away again and said he wasn't allowed to do that yet. Even though after this he kept kissing me again. Later on he put a hand down the back of my leggings and felt my bum.

I lied and said it was a different time to what it actually was so that I could leave. When I was walking away he slapped my bum.

When he left I just wanted to cry and clean myself in the shower. Whilst he was doing it I felt uncomfortable and wanted him to stop, but never actually got the words out or was able to walk away.

So my question is, did he do anything wrong? I was thinking what he did was wrong but I still stood there whilst he was kissing me etc so he must have thought I wanted him to carry on and I can only blame myself.

(I did try and post this anonymously when it happened but it hasn't been approved yet and I'd really appreciate some opinions now).

Was this supposed to turn me on? :colone:

Anyway, if I set aside my perversions lol he was definitely wrong to keep trying. You should've kneed him in the joint :angry:

It's unfortunate that many assaults happen because women are too lenient or timid to forcably get a man off. Like I was also sexually assaulted by a few men over recent years. The most recent was from a man who over a course of weeks I was forced to speak to because we had group work together. So I was subjected to his forwardness aka licking my hands in the middle of a conversation and grabbing my hand to touch his cock and begging me to snog him in the middle of a lecture, making everyone uncomfortably peer at us. So when the last day came I cussed him out and told him he was everything from A to Z and haven't heard from him since :biggrin: