Would you be happy if your boyfriend did this?

theyre both completely in the fault, and if he cant realise that he is hurting you by "simply talking" to another girl, then he is enjoying it as well; i dont understand how people can be in solid relationships while having frequent and deep conversations with people who are so clearly trying to tell him that you are not good enough for him
either state in clear terms how it makes you uncomfy or break it off; its not worth the hurt and bottled feelings (speaking from experience btw)

I became a father aged 19.
We moved into a bed sit and I wasn’t mature enough to deal with the change in my life. I had female friends and I would often go out partying with them without taking my partners feelings into account. It was selfish of me but I was struggling to deal with the situation I’d created.
Obviously my partner thought I was up to no good, she was left holding the baby and I wasn’t there to support her.
These were turbulent years, I have no idea why she put up with my disrespect but she persevered. During these days I never cheated but if the roles were reversed I’d have been so suspicious I think it would have destroyed our relationship.
We’re still together and our son is 36 years old.
I love her more each day and really appreciate what a **** I’ve been.
My point is, if you think he’s worth it, fight for it.
People outside your relationship will always have influence on the dynamic but ultimately it’s about how much your both willing to put up with to reach your goals.
It’s only you who knows. Don’t let others influence your decisions.
I wish you all the best and hope you find what ultimately makes you happy.

"Talking stage" means nothing. They weren't ever together and never had a relationship, so them talking isn't an issue from that angle.

Her insulting you and sending him photos in her underwear though? That's completely inappropriate and he needs to nip it in the bud.

Thank you for this! It does make me really uncomfortable and its frustrating that despite explaining it nothing changes! I have just sent a very clear paragraph through text which is very black and white. I really do love being with him but I'm obviously not willing to be treated like that and to have another girl belittling me and sending my partner inappropriate pictures. I have been quite direct and made reference to feeling as if things don't change then I wouldn't feel happy to continue the relationship so I am hoping that that's a bit of a realisation! I'm hoping the text is a bit easier for him to get my point!

Hey! My boyfriend of 6 months (both 20) has been texting a girl who he had a past talking stage with and sending streaks/having conversations. I'm really not too fond of things that she has said in these messages including that he's a 10/10 and I'm a 3/10, telling him he could do so much better, sending him pictures of her in a bra as 'streaks' and calling me controlling and manipulative. When I first saw these messages as we often when watching a film will go on our phones, I spoke to him about who she was as he'd never mentioned a friend with her name before and he initially didn't really want to go into it but eventually did say that they'd had a talking stage and now just sent streaks.

However, it clearly isn't just streaks as they have regular conversations. I am fine with him having female friends but I draw the line at being ****ged off by another girl who's never met me and her sending him half naked streaks. I'm not happy with the context of their conversations and despite not knowing the girl personally it's quite clear that she has no respect for those in relationships, one of the conversations was about sleeping with a guy with a GF and asking my partner about how she could get away with doing it again.

He seems to think this is an overreaction, I've been really upset lately about it as he initially blocked her a few months ago when I first questioned who she was but has since unblocked and they are communicating again. She's clearly been in daily contact with him for years and I feel like she's always going to be in the background. Do I insist he blocks her or chooses her over me or do I just need to ignore it? Aside from this girl, we get on really well, my family like him, he's got a lovely family who are kind/care about our relationship and I find him very attractive.

Before anyone jumps on it too... I have male friends myself but have never had an issue with keeping to boundaries and I would never stand for my partner being ****ged off by another guy nor would I continue contact with someone I'd have a talking stage with. Any advice would be amazing! I really want this to get sorted but discussions about it just seem to lead to me becoming more upset and being made to feel like I'm overreacting. I've also been cheated on in my first long term relationship so that's also an anxiety inducing factor!

Does he at least defends you in these texts and ask her to stop?

Why did you text him and not talk to him about it, to get a proper dialogue going?

(Original post by Anonymous)Girl, your man is listening to another woman talk bad about you and saying nothing? not to mention the pics, what?

Maybe its just me, but if I am loyal and wouldnt take hearing this about my man, I expect the same back and if he's not giving it, i can find someone who will. But this really isnt a question and i dont understand why people are so tolerant to this behaviour and explain it away by him just being 'friendly', no. it is disrespect. Alot of your text was about the girl but the girl is not at fault, she has no loyalty to you and therefore can do anything really without feeling guilty, your man however does not have that liberty.

'Aside from this girl, we get on really well, my family like him, he's got a lovely family who are kind/care about our relationship and I find him very attractive.' Respect is more important than all of those points, you deserve better.

You should definitely ask him to block her and if it’s an issue, that tells you all you need to know about him.

Hey! My boyfriend of 6 months (both 20) has been texting a girl who he had a past talking stage with and sending streaks/having conversations. I'm really not too fond of things that she has said in these messages including that he's a 10/10 and I'm a 3/10, telling him he could do so much better, sending him pictures of her in a bra as 'streaks' and calling me controlling and manipulative. When I first saw these messages as we often when watching a film will go on our phones, I spoke to him about who she was as he'd never mentioned a friend with her name before and he initially didn't really want to go into it but eventually did say that they'd had a talking stage and now just sent streaks.

However, it clearly isn't just streaks as they have regular conversations. I am fine with him having female friends but I draw the line at being ****ged off by another girl who's never met me and her sending him half naked streaks. I'm not happy with the context of their conversations and despite not knowing the girl personally it's quite clear that she has no respect for those in relationships, one of the conversations was about sleeping with a guy with a GF and asking my partner about how she could get away with doing it again.

He seems to think this is an overreaction, I've been really upset lately about it as he initially blocked her a few months ago when I first questioned who she was but has since unblocked and they are communicating again. She's clearly been in daily contact with him for years and I feel like she's always going to be in the background. Do I insist he blocks her or chooses her over me or do I just need to ignore it? Aside from this girl, we get on really well, my family like him, he's got a lovely family who are kind/care about our relationship and I find him very attractive.

Before anyone jumps on it too... I have male friends myself but have never had an issue with keeping to boundaries and I would never stand for my partner being ****ged off by another guy nor would I continue contact with someone I'd have a talking stage with. Any advice would be amazing! I really want this to get sorted but discussions about it just seem to lead to me becoming more upset and being made to feel like I'm overreacting. I've also been cheated on in my first long term relationship so that's also an anxiety inducing factor!

No he literally was agreeing with her that I overreact!

Hey! My boyfriend of 6 months (both 20) has been texting a girl who he had a past talking stage with and sending streaks/having conversations. I'm really not too fond of things that she has said in these messages including that he's a 10/10 and I'm a 3/10, telling him he could do so much better, sending him pictures of her in a bra as 'streaks' and calling me controlling and manipulative. When I first saw these messages as we often when watching a film will go on our phones, I spoke to him about who she was as he'd never mentioned a friend with her name before and he initially didn't really want to go into it but eventually did say that they'd had a talking stage and now just sent streaks.

However, it clearly isn't just streaks as they have regular conversations. I am fine with him having female friends but I draw the line at being ****ged off by another girl who's never met me and her sending him half naked streaks. I'm not happy with the context of their conversations and despite not knowing the girl personally it's quite clear that she has no respect for those in relationships, one of the conversations was about sleeping with a guy with a GF and asking my partner about how she could get away with doing it again.

He seems to think this is an overreaction, I've been really upset lately about it as he initially blocked her a few months ago when I first questioned who she was but has since unblocked and they are communicating again. She's clearly been in daily contact with him for years and I feel like she's always going to be in the background. Do I insist he blocks her or chooses her over me or do I just need to ignore it? Aside from this girl, we get on really well, my family like him, he's got a lovely family who are kind/care about our relationship and I find him very attractive.

Before anyone jumps on it too... I have male friends myself but have never had an issue with keeping to boundaries and I would never stand for my partner being ****ged off by another guy nor would I continue contact with someone I'd have a talking stage with. Any advice would be amazing! I really want this to get sorted but discussions about it just seem to lead to me becoming more upset and being made to feel like I'm overreacting. I've also been cheated on in my first long term relationship so that's also an anxiety inducing factor!