Parents say I've changed too much since going to university...

(long post sorry)

Visited home for the second time since starting uni in september and my parents have told me I have changed too much for their liking.

To put into perspective
-> I'm now eating vegan
-> I've got a tattoo (small)
-> I've had a lip injection (it looks natural btw)
-> Exercising more (recently taken up yoga)
-> I have had my teeth bonded as I have a gap tooth and it has bothered me since I was a child

These weren't decisions I made in the moment and I had planned to get these for months beforehand as I wanted a change.
I know it's my life, my body etc. but their constant comments about how much their little girl has 'grown up' is starting to annoy me.

When I told them I'm eating vegan, they flipped. They say they're worried that I have some sort of eating disorder as the exercise and eating healthy has lead me to losing some weight (obviously). I feel great about my diet and my body. Their main concern is how I get my protein as they think eating meat is essential for living however I've already talked to my doctor and I know what I need (like fortified foods and such). They feel betrayed that I went to the doctor behind their backs despite the fact that I'm not a child anymore!!

I had the tattoo done before Christmas but managed to hide it from them as I knew how they would react. Typically, when they saw it they told me they were disappointed in me. It's not a violent or rude tattoo may I add. It's a small design of a woman on my right shoulder/back area.

To clarify, I've paid for my tattoo and lip injection with my OWN money, not theirs or student finance.

Though my parents love me, I feel like they're trying to control me and say what I can and cannot have. I understand why they're upset as it's a big change but I figured they would at least be happy that I'm happy.

They've told me they don't want me to make anymore decisions without them approving from now on :mad:

Advice? How do I deal with this?? Have I changed TOO MUCH?

Reply 1

theo1jinx

All parents that care are like this. There is a generation gap and some things are hard for them to understand. Don't get in any fights with them and hurt them, they will eventually get used to the changes :tongue:

Reply 2

Skyy9432

Just be mature about it. If they push you to shouting and arguing about your new life, they get you to act like a child and win. Going to Uni is an opportunity to change and better yourself. Basically, it's the middle-ground where you're not really a kid nor an adult. You're a mature student. Key word, mature. No, you haven't changed too much. The lip injection makes me a bit cautious about saying that, but I have 0 context as to why you got one. If someone goes to Uni and it doesn't change them, they weren't paying enough attention.

If they ever try and drop sly comments or start an argument about your new decisions, be friendly about it. By making these decisions, you clearly have reasons backing them up. Whenever they criticise one of these things, present them with your reasoning in a friendly, mature way.

Like: "Well, I do yoga now because it improves my physical health as well as acting as a form of meditation to keep my mind clearly and working at it's full potential. My rocking abs are just a bonus, aha! :smile:

"
Whereas: "Omg mom, it' my life and I want to live it! It's not just a phase grrrrrr!" will make them think you're not mature enough to be responsible for these decisions.

Hope this helps.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

Well, you said you thought about all of this stuff for months before hand and nothing was rushed, but from their point of view when you left you didnt have it, next day they saw you, all of this had happened. Its a massive change for them to accept.

However, if this is what you want and who you are then you should get on with living. Ain't no point living if you are not yourself :smile:

I know you didn't ask for a psycho-analysis of yourself but on a side note; these all seem to be body improvements, lack of confidence causing the big changes?

Reply 4

King Boo

You realised that its your life to live and you should live it the way you want. You grew up, and parents find that hard.

Reply 5

driftawaay

Yeah, parents can be annoying. Changing 'too much' is fine as long as you aren't changing in the wrong direction, I don't think you've done anything wrong. Just tell them to calm down, you aren't snorting cocaine and having drunken orgies without condoms. :colondollar: