How did your parents parent you?

BECASUE MINE IS ALWAYS MEAN AND strict

My parents were so strict when I and my sibling were younger. Since becoming adults, they've given us more space, whereas they never behaved meanly. I reckon parents should be a bit strict with their children 'cause we make loads of mistakes and take wrong decisions in life when we're not mature enough. Furthermore, I also believe that after a certain time, parents should give more freedom to their children when they understand what's good for them and what's not.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

I am a teen and she is does not let me do anything

Original post by Meheraj

My parents were so strict when I and my sibling were younger. Since becoming adults, they've given us more space, whereas they never behaved meanly. I reckon parents should be a bit strict with their children 'cause we make loads of mistakes and take wrong decisions in life when we're not mature enough. Furthermore, I also believe that after a certain time, parents should give more freedom to their children when they understand what's good for them and what's not.

Reply 3

Meheraj

19

Original post by Anonymous

I am a teen and she is does not let me do anything

It appears that your parents may be more concerned about you, and it's pretty normal for parents to be. So, whenever you want to do something, share it with your parents (if it's feasible) and ask them whether you're following the right path or not (as you're yet to be an adult). If they say it's not good for you, then maybe it's actually not. On the contrary, when you don't want to share at all, just ensure them you've thought about it enough, and you'll do nothing wrong. Hopefully, then they'll give you more room.

Another piece of advice I would like to give you is that before doing any activities, take your time to think, and afterwards you can do whatever you prefer. Just in case something goes wrong, your parents will feel bad for you, but you're the one who'll regret it.

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

Sometimes, parents are strict because they just want to keep you safe! The world is cruel.

Reply 5

areebah99

13

Original post by Meheraj

My parents were so strict when I and my sibling were younger. Since becoming adults, they've given us more space, whereas they never behaved meanly. I reckon parents should be a bit strict with their children 'cause we make loads of mistakes and take wrong decisions in life when we're not mature enough. Furthermore, I also believe that after a certain time, parents should give more freedom to their children when they understand what's good for them and what's not.

thats the oppostev of mine were good when we got taught manners ect
now i am 16 all they do is try to control me no space,no locks on door no phones till uni ect

Reply 6

Other_Owl

22

Forced a *****y academic lifestyle on me instead of encouraging my creativity. At a vast expense of my future.

Reply 7

serkoiya

Original post by Anonymous

BECASUE MINE IS ALWAYS MEAN AND strict

Mine are pretty firm but fair (for the most part), but being the oldest of my two siblings my parents definitely got softer (aka gave up more) with each child.

Hence why I'm the best adjusted of the three of us, excluding the fact I'm older than them even at their age I was better behaved and mentally developed. (like jeez my youngest sibling has only had a phone for a year and their mind has become completely warped, but my parents are too ignorant to realise how its affecting their mental health, so I have to be the mean older sister and parent for them for my siblings safety)

Reply 8

Meheraj

19

Original post by areebah99

thats the oppostev of mine were good when we got taught manners ect
now i am 16 all they do is try to control me no space,no locks on door no phones till uni ect

Age is a number where some people gain maturity quite early, whilst it's different for others. I'm not quite sure how mature you're. Show maturity to your parents, and hopefully, they'll give you more freedom. Even if they don't, don't be frustrated. There's a time for everything, and you'll have it after a certain time.

I was, and still am, compared to other people's children (adult children now of course) by my mother.

"Sandra's* daughter has got five degrees. You don't even have one yet."
"Sandra's son is a doctor over in Ireland. He must be making so much money, unlike you."
"Betty's* daughter is a doctor and is married to a lawyer. Both very respectable jobs. She can support her mother. It must be wonderful for Betty to have a child that can support her."
"Isn't it wonderful how Jim's* son is moving into a big house even though he and his girlfriend are only expecting their first child. It'll be lovely for their child to have space, unlike your four kids in that shoebox of a house you've got."

She does the same thing to my daughter as well (my daughter stays with her 2 nights a week). She gets her grades compared with other people, her future plans criticised, and her future choice of university sneered at.

*Names changed for anonymity.

Reply 10

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

BECASUE MINE IS ALWAYS MEAN AND strict

my parents r strict (not mean) but they're rly nice & teach me diff life stuff n always tell me they're strict "for my own good" n altho i thought they were jus strict for no reason,, as i grew older i'm realising the dangers n shi + they're gradually becoming more lenient (i'm still a teen) but i believe that parents would always be strict w their children inorder to protect them

++ howev i used to b allowed n phone whereas now i'm not but it's getting better (: i think u should jus deal w it cus u can't change the way ur parents treat u as they care lol <333

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

WELL mine are just strict and mean i do not like the way they are always yelling at us and very sarcastic i hate it and that is why i am never gioing to let my children be like that once i get marred.

Reply 12

black tea

19

Punished very harshly, and often inappropriately, when I was young. Weren't really around and left me to my own devices when I was older.

(edited 12 months ago)

Reply 13

areebah99

13

Original post by Meheraj

Age is a number where some people gain maturity quite early, whilst it's different for others. I'm not quite sure how mature you're. Show maturity to your parents, and hopefully, they'll give you more freedom. Even if they don't, don't be frustrated. There's a time for everything, and you'll have it after a certain time.

i dont it from a brown muslim fam
and im very mature
since the age of 10 iv babysat my siblings even now i cook and clean but its never enough

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

I know how u feel I just feel traped

Reply 15

Meheraj

19

Original post by areebah99

i dont it from a brown muslim fam
and im very mature
since the age of 10 iv babysat my siblings even now i cook and clean but its never enough

Assalamualikum. Hope you're doing well.

Ma-sha-Allah, great to hear that you're sensible and you do loads of stuff. I'm sorry that after doing all of these, your parents don't think they're enough. Just be patient, and with time, things will get better. I've witnessed that there are some parents who don't try to understand their children as much as they should. But what can we really do about them? After all, they're parents. What we can do is try to make them understand, adjust things as much as we can, and sometimes pacify them for their concern.

By the way, I'm from a Muslim family too, and I'm a boy. I get your points. I reckon Muslim families that follow our religion closely are very conservative, especially towards girls. Personally, I don't like some rules to some extent. I've got a sister as well. Well, there are things my parents sometimes don't let my sister do, even if she wants to, 'cause they're concerned. Then, she asks me if I think I should allow her, and I do it afterwards. But there are times when I've to disallow her request for her own betterment.

Reply 16

CatInTheCorner

19

Mum was phenomenal, supportive, kind, smart and present. Dad was mixed bag.

Reply 17

areebah99

13

thnx personally i think its how our parents were brought up they have mixed culture with religion hopefully it will get better inshallah but just point out little stuff of how your cuzzy parents treat them or when ur with friends n fam be like ur luck ect your parents will sutle recognise and take action you may become homeless :bawling:

but ....
how old are u tho im 16 n it also depends on where u live what its like ....
just get a job and save up too

Spoiler

Reply 18

scar-the-queen

16

My parents used to be really strict and put a lot of pressure on me academically but they've changed recently and they're encouraging me to lead a balanced life of exercise, studying and occasionally going out with friends or doing something fun. They're really honest with me and they treat me as an equal (most of the time). As I've grown up, my parents have become more like my friends rather than authoritative figures in my life.

Reply 19

Meheraj

19

Original post by areebah99

thnx personally i think its how our parents were brought up they have mixed culture with religion hopefully it will get better inshallah but just point out little stuff of how your cuzzy parents treat them or when ur with friends n fam be like ur luck ect your parents will sutle recognise and take action you may become homeless :bawling:

but ....
how old are u tho im 16 n it also depends on where u live what its like ....
just get a job and save up too

Spoiler

No worries! :smile:

Yeah. I do eye-to-eye with you. In-sha-Allah, things will. My parents have never been rough with my friends. They were always cautious and used to tell us to pick the right people in life so that we would never regret it. And they still do.

I'm 22. I currently live in BD. But I don't quite agree with how a person was brought up. I would say it's just mentality—how you think and how you make decisions.

Getting a job and settling down is something you'll notice all over the world.

By the way, would you mind me asking where you hail from?

How did your parents parent you?

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