Why are all the best girls unatainable?

In most cases just shutting up is a lot better than babbling. Its easier to look cool that way.

why not?!

Why does it seem that whenever a meet a girl I really like and have loads on common with, she either doesn't like me at all, or is just in a very akward place.

There are several reasons:

1) The girl might already have a boyfriend/husband
2) Some girls have very high standards
3) Some girls have a "type" and only date within that type
4) You can say or do things that'll please a girl.. but she won't be attained unless she likes your looks and personality.

So do I, and it did used to irritate people, but now I can somehow make interesting observations, or add humour, so its actually entertaining rather than annoying. I don't know how that came about though

you have had a taste of my humour once or twice, you know that my humour is not appreciated by most people and I tend to make observations that are interesting to me, but to no-one else.

But you must know what other people find interesting or funny?

I try, but even when I do find things that the other people are interested in, I usually go into too much depth or take something too far.

Then from experience you should have learned when you're taking things too far, and not to do it next time?

One funny comment is usually enough. Stop while you're ahead, don't kill the joke.

Surely all it'll take is a moment's thought before you speak?

I don't just kill a joke, I cremate it and scatter it's ashes.

Courting were you Sir Peel?

Is there a society or group for people with autism? You might meet a girl there who understands and experiences the same things as you, and won't find them weird

I don't just kill a joke, I cremate it and scatter it's ashes.

Well then DON'T!

Try just thinking to yourself "well I made them laugh, I'm done". Don't just give up before you try, think of the reward that you'd be getting for kicking the habit.

whenever i talk to people i dont know i stutter, mumble and create awkward silences

If I don't at least try to be funny, people will think I am too serious and get put off.