Why am I so friendzoned

It's like have a girlfriend without any of the benefits.

The other day she went and said I love you to me, after o said something over text. I am the Lord of the friendzone.

It's not like I'm ugly, I get loads of girl looking at me. Even guys too.

Even she looks at me, like from the other side of the assembly hall I saw her look in my direction.

Reply 1

Alexion

17

uh... what's the question here?

Reply 2

shawn_o1

21

already you are using that term that suggests you are not satisfied with the (lack of) affection she gives to you

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by shawn_o1

already you are using that term that suggests you are not satisfied with the (lack of) affection she gives to you

I don't want the extra affection, I just wanted to treated like a normal friend.
None of these I love you,
None of these late night calls

Reply 4

shawn_o1

21

Original post by Anonymous

I don't want the extra affection, I just wanted to treated like a normal friend.
None of these I love you,
None of these late night calls

Then you would not use the term "friendzone", you'd just suck it up and move on.

Reply 5

BatmanRH

15

Maybe you've been too nice to her.

Reply 6

UWS

21

You're just being too passive. Take risks and make a move before she sees you as a friend.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by BatmanRH

Maybe you've been too nice to her.

I think that is somewhat true, like at first o did enjoy texting her everyday, revsing together. This is being nice to her

But when I take the attention way she gets moody, she doesn't leave me alone

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by UWS

You're just being too passive. Take risks and make a move before she sees you as a friend.

I am alredy her friend, to late to do anything apart from cut the contact

Reply 9

BatmanRH

15

Original post by Anonymous

I think that is somewhat true, like at first o did enjoy texting her everyday, revsing together. This is being nice to her

But when I take the attention way she gets moody, she doesn't leave me alone

That sounds like she's attracted to you imo. Try and find other girls!

Reply 10

UWS

21

Original post by Anonymous

I think that is somewhat true, like at first o did enjoy texting her everyday, revsing together. This is being nice to her

But when I take the attention way she gets moody, she doesn't leave me alone

Original post by Anonymous

I am alredy her friend, to late to do anything apart from cut the contact

Become less available to her. She will come to you more often. I'm not saying that she's gonna like you, but at least she won't feel obliged to let you initiate contact with her.

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

I think that is somewhat true, like at first o did enjoy texting her everyday, revsing together. This is being nice to her

But when I take the attention way she gets moody, she doesn't leave me alone

tbf if one of my friends suddenly stopped contacting me I'd get "moody" too

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by UWS

Become less available to her. She will come to you more often. I'm not saying that she's gonna like you, but at least she won't feel obliged to let you initiate contact with her.

I have started that, and recently it's been her asking me out, making the plans. She even got angry at this, because she is the one putting in all the effort.

I said whatever, and she still continues to text and ask. And the other day she dropped the I love you bomb.

We are really touchy friends, like once walking I and my hand on her bum. But I know she isn't into me as she talks about other guys

Reply 13

Jacktheslipper

9

Original post by Alexion

uh... what's the question here?

Read the title

@OP
Well if you're good looking you're either giving her too much attention (making her take you for granted)
Or being too nice (which girls find boring even though they'll claim they like 'nice guys' -yeah they do - they like to friendzone em bro)

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Jacktheslipper

Read the title

@OP
Well if you're good looking you're either giving her too much attention (making her take you for granted)
Or being too nice (which girls find boring even though they'll claim they like 'nice guys' -yeah they do - they like to friendzone em bro)

Well the girl in question has seen other girls come and kiss me. Random guys come on hit on me. She even said you are good at this.

I think I was too avaliable, giving her too much attention, but I have stopped this, she puts the work in now. She complained that she always texts first and makes the plans now in terms of asking me out.

Being nice is a problem, but I don't know what I doing wrong.i think next time is see her I need to be flirty, bring up sexual topics?

Reply 15

Blondie987

17

Surely the benefits include being able to spend time with someone of whom you enjoy the company, unless you only like them for their looks :colonhash:

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Blondie987

Surely the benefits include being able to spend time with someone of whom you enjoy the company, unless you only like them for their looks :colonhash:

Benefits also include commitment, friends eventually break apart.
My best friend in college, for 2 years we saw each other eveyday, since we got to uni, we have hardly spoke, and everything had died out

Reply 17

Blondie987

17

Original post by Anonymous

Benefits also include commitment, friends eventually break apart.
My best friend in college, for 2 years we saw each other eveyday, since we got to uni, we have hardly spoke, and everything had died out

The same thing is just as likely to happen in a relationship, relationships have commitment and friendships have loyalty both of which can be lost

Reply 18

SophieSmall

21

Either ask her out or move on, or or do both it doesn't really matter.
But don't whine about the friendzone if you are willingly putting yourself in that position and doing nothing about it.