Hi, so i am in my second year at university studying economics in london. basically everything is quite literally going pear shaped for me.
at high school for my gcse's i did well, well for myself. i got A's in english maths and B's in science and mostly everything else. i was proud of myself considering i was struggling with maths and i tried so so hard. Then came a-levels. i did business, economics, and english. i have no idea what happened, i just slipped, in my first year at college i got B's in all subjects, which was at the time not what i wanted, but i was happy as i saw my friends all did quite badly.
Then second year i got diagnosed with cancer, and everything kind of slipped and i did really bad overall. i got BCD. i could have gotten extenuating circumstances, but i just wanted to finish college and move on. i knew if i got extenuating circumstances i would be a year behind and studying for them retakes. and i really did not want to do this. so i just accepted my grades. i did not get into the university i wanted to get into. and went through clearing and got into a better than expected university so i was happy.
But my first year at university, i hated it so much. i did not really make any proper friends (still havent) normally im a outgoing person and i can make friends easily. i have got friends at uni but i dont see them as proper friends but rather people i just spend time with at uni and thats it. as i dont go out partying or drinking nor do i live out. i commute to uni as its close. But moving on, my health has been deteriorating and i did very bad in first year. i just about scraped through quite literally. i lied to my family and said i got a first as theres this pressure from my family as my siblings all got first class degrees. so i lied. i know i shouldnt have but i did. Now second year on, in my january exams i didnt do that great, i got mostly 2:2's. i cant help but think that maybe university isnt for me. normally i like studying and im quite smart, i understand things at university and i can explain to others so well but i just dont do well at exams?
im so scared. i cant even think straight no more. im really anxious because its second year and i need to get a first class overall. i have honestly lost hope. im already thinking of ways of how im meant to tell my family i did not get a first class. i havent even told any of my best friends about this as i am so scared. and having cancer isnt really helping me either, i dont want to blame cancer for all this, but i cant help but think that because most of the time im so drained mentally and psychically i cant put in as much time for studying. i spend most of my time in hospitals and dealing with my low blood sugar levels, having panic attacks. just last night i was contemplating killing myself. i honestly feel like i have no hope left with university. im so scared. what do i do?? please help
apologies for my bad grammer and spelling, lol im in a rush.
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- Thread Starter
- 28-03-2016 23:43
- 29-03-2016 00:57
Managing to get into uni and then passing your first year and continuing to your second year is an achievement on its own. Be proud of what you've accomplished, especially when your fighting off cancer. I'm incredibly in awe of you and I think you should be too. Stay positive about the future and of our health (perhaps things will turn out for the better). But, understandably, if your health is taking a toll on you, I think you should talk to somebody about it and consider whether you should take time off university and focus on getting better.
Posted from TSR Mobile
- 29-03-2016 00:58
And btw I think that there's absolutely nothing wrong with you.
Posted from TSR Mobile
- 29-03-2016 01:14
You have to take the positives. The past is the past, and there's nothing you can do to change it, and it doesn't matter. You're in your second year, and that's what matters.
But, if things are getting too much, speak to a counsellor, and they can help better.
More importantly, your health has to come first. If you have to miss a year, to get fully better, or even however many years that you need, it won't matter, and if the worst comes to the worst, you can pick up from where you left off, and you might be able to get extenuating circumstances for your degree thus far.
Remember, the first year, isn't that important, and the majority of your degree comes down to your second and third years. Do well in them, and you'll get the degree you deserve. Whatever happens, don't worry. At the end of the day, your family love you, and they'll love you all the same even if you don't get a first.
Online19Very Important Poster
- Very Important Poster
- 29-03-2016 01:21
Dealing with C more importnat than Uni
First year doesnt normally matter.
Talk to your tutor its important they know.
If you are having sucidal thoughts talk to Samaritans or whatever night time service uni suppies an then see your GP asap.
If you really are collapsing, then consider leaving Uni for a break and return again later. If you havent taken exams you wont have lost anything.
Too much self exterted pressure
Hang in there
- 29-03-2016 05:38
You're amazing! Dealing with all of that at once is a great achievement.
First thing I would do is make an appointment with your uni's counselling service. You need to talk all of this through with a real person, even if it's just to vent at someone outside the immediate issues. The internet is sometimes no substitute.
There's nothing stopping you going to uni later, whereas the cancer is a more immediate and dangerous situation. In your shoes, I'd put uni to one side for the mo and concentrate on recovery. You don't actually have to do all this at once. Treat yourself a little more kindly x