I've finished most of my AS examinations and...

I've realized I've messed up the 3 I did for further maths towards my target grade and where I actually wanted to go to uni ( FP1 - C/B M2 - B M3 - D) and I've realised, that even though I have a desire to learn the actual stuff, to pay for a tutor now that I've seen it was massively hard to get decent grades self teaching them, to sit the bloody exams, that desire is nothing for education as if I even resat them in October, I wouldn't get the results till January, after applying and being interviewed by a university, that I would have to wait another year for them qualifications to be worth anything, that my time and life is worth nothing to anyone setting the exam system out, that I have no chance of going where I wanted to go even with my other grades