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    I have developed feelings for a friend, but they aren't returned. He says I have absolutely everything going for me personality-wise. He thinks I am really kind, funny, intelligent, and he likes talking to me, and starts conversations with me himself.
    Physically, he seems to very sexually attracted, and gives me endless compliments.

    However, he only sees me as a friend. He;s been single for 2 years, and says he hasn't had feelings for anyone else since then, and that he's still in love with his ex.
    He said when he met me, he was attracted to me, and tried to see me as a potential girlfriend, but says that he can't.

    He said he hasn't wanted to date anyone since her either, doesn't want a girlfriend etc. even though he really appreciates me. He says he 'couldn't see it working' with me, and is really sorry, but cannot force himself.

    does it sound like if he didn't have feelings for the ex, he'd be willing to give it a try? He said they'll never get back together. I don't understand, as apparently she treated him awfully! But I suppose he cannot control it.

    I'm trying to move on, but it's frustrating. Anything else I can do? Thanks
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    he seems to find me extremely physically attractive, and even says i'm 'way hotter' than he is, my body is 'perfect', stuff like that.
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    I think you just need to respect his decision. I actually really commend people who are capable of taking a step back and admitting they're just not ready to date instead of trying to get over exes by dating someone new. It might help to go on some dates and get excited about a new person sometimes, but if you just aren't in it there is no point in forcing yourself.

    I didn't think I was ready to date again and was totally turned off the idea until I met my boyfriend, who I am still with, and it all just took off from there. He had also said that he wasn't ready to date again, but then he met me and asked me out anyway. So I'm inclined to say that if you meet someone you really can't resist, you may just make the exception. He says he tried to date you and he couldn't force himself, and I wouldn't personally want to end up dating someone who initially couldn't even force themselves to date me. I know you like him, but I think you need to just accept that it isn't going to happen and let him continue to grieve his ex relationship.

    Even though he obviously thinks you're attractive and thinks you're a wonderful person, sometimes relationships need more than that. They need chemistry. He most likely just doesn't feel that magnetic pull with you, even though he feels like he should because he recognises you're a great and attractive human being. It's easy to be surrounded by good-looking and great people, especially friends, but if you don't feel that spark between you it can all fall flat.

    Let him have his time to mourn. One day he might be ready, but that doesn't mean he will look to you to date, so you need to just move on and see other people in my opinion.
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    (Original post by PandaCalavera)
    I think you just need to respect his decision. I actually really commend people who are capable of taking a step back and admitting they're just not ready to date instead of trying to get over exes by dating someone new. It might help to go on some dates and get excited about a new person sometimes, but if you just aren't in it there is no point in forcing yourself.

    I didn't think I was ready to date again and was totally turned off the idea until I met my boyfriend, who I am still with, and it all just took off from there. He had also said that he wasn't ready to date again, but then he met me and asked me out anyway. So I'm inclined to say that if you meet someone you really can't resist, you may just make the exception. He says he tried to date you and he couldn't force himself, and I wouldn't personally want to end up dating someone who initially couldn't even force themselves to date me. I know you like him, but I think you need to just accept that it isn't going to happen and let him continue to grieve his ex relationship.

    Even though he obviously thinks you're attractive and thinks you're a wonderful person, sometimes relationships need more than that. They need chemistry. He most likely just doesn't feel that magnetic pull with you, even though he feels like he should because he recognises you're a great and attractive human being. It's easy to be surrounded by good-looking and great people, especially friends, but if you don't feel that spark between you it can all fall flat.

    Let him have his time to mourn. One day he might be ready, but that doesn't mean he will look to you to date, so you need to just move on and see other people in my opinion.

    Thanks for the reply You're right! I've kindly explained to him that for the moment we need to cut contact so that I can heal and move on. He was disappointed, but understood fully.

    There is definitely sexual chemistry between us; some things have happened before and he's said stuff like 'nobody has ever turned him on like I have'. And that he's had that kind of burning desire for me and such.

    I suppose that he doesn't see me as girlfriend material even if I would be great on paper to him, he hasn't felt that 'feeling'.

    I hope for his sake too that he'll be able to move on! I hope my feelings will fade anyway because I'd love to keep them friendship!

    Thanks
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    I guarantee you'll get what you want in a couple of weeks or months. Do not worry. It always happens,nature will take its course.

    As long as you don't become too clingy and persistent.
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    (Original post by RelucBeam)
    I guarantee you'll get what you want in a couple of weeks or months. Do not worry. It always happens,nature will take its course.

    As long as you don't become too clingy and persistent.
    Thank you, do you think so, really? So there must be some interest on his part?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you, do you think so, really? So there must be some interest on his part?
    There may be no interest now. But with those compliments that is unlikely.
    You'll spend time together and his feelings will develop. One day when you're in an idea setting, things will develop.

    Another thing is he many be trying to play it cool - a successful tactic.

    One of the main reasons he only sees you as a friend is because you are too available. Change that
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    (Original post by RelucBeam)
    There may be no interest now. But with those compliments that is unlikely.
    You'll spend time together and his feelings will develop. One day when you're in an idea setting, things will develop.

    Another thing is he many be trying to play it cool - a successful tactic.

    One of the main reasons he only sees you as a friend is because you are too available. Change that
    Thanks Yeah... he has said we're very different in certain ways and I agree, but otherwise has said I have got 'everything to please', he really likes talking to me, we get on well etc. and as I said there is a very strong sexual chemistry.

    You're probably right about that; he knows he could pretty much have me if he wanted to, and knows how much I wanted him.

    I'm not talking to him atm anyway, but I'm scared of now giving myself false hope and just ending up disappointed! Plus we're not gonna be seeing each other more than every few months now anyway as he's going abroad for a year...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks Yeah... he has said we're very different in certain ways and I agree, but otherwise has said I have got 'everything to please', he really likes talking to me, we get on well etc. and as I said there is a very strong sexual chemistry.

    You're probably right about that; he knows he could pretty much have me if he wanted to, and knows how much I wanted him.

    I'm not talking to him atm anyway, but I'm scared of now giving myself false hope and just ending up disappointed! Plus we're not gonna be seeing each other more than every few months now anyway as he's going abroad for a year...
    Going abroad for the year = yeah forget it. There are plenty of guys that will desire you. And i'm not just saying that. There is no point pursuing or thinking about this particular guy anymore.
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    (Original post by RelucBeam)
    Going abroad for the year = yeah forget it. There are plenty of guys that will desire you. And i'm not just saying that. There is no point pursuing or thinking about this particular guy anymore.
    Yeah, I think this was also a large factor. I'd been interested in long-distance but he hadn't. That had been the reason he'd broken up with his ex, and he said he didn't want to go through that again... I ask myself if it could have been had there not been a distance, had he not still been into his ex.. but yeah you're right, I'll meet someone else hopefully! Thank you
 
 
 
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